Confidence Building Techniques

I was shadowing a coaching client in her leadership meeting when I watched this brilliant woman apologize six times in 30 minutes. 1. “Sorry, this might be off-topic, but..." 2. “I'm could be wrong, but what if we..." 3. “Sorry again, I know we're running short on time..." 4. “I don't want to step on anyone's toes, but..." 5. “This is just my opinion, but..." 6. “Sorry if I'm being too pushy..." Her ideas? They were game-changing. Every single one. Here's what I've learned after decades of coaching women leaders: Women are masterful at reading the room and keeping everyone comfortable. It's a superpower. But when we consistently prioritize others' comfort over our own voice, we rob ourselves, and our teams, of our full contribution. The alternative isn't to become aggressive or dismissive. It's to practice “gracious assertion": • Replace "Sorry to interrupt" with "I'd like to add to that" • Replace "This might be stupid, but..." with "Here's another perspective" • Replace "I hope this makes sense" with "Let me know what questions you have" • Replace "I don't want to step on toes" with "I have a different approach" • Replace "This is just my opinion" with "Based on my experience" • Replace "Sorry if I'm being pushy" with "I feel strongly about this because" But how do you know if you're hitting the right note? Ask yourself these three questions: • Am I stating my needs clearly while respecting others' perspectives? (Assertive) • Am I dismissing others' input or bulldozing through objections? (Aggressive) • Am I hinting at what I want instead of directly asking for it? (Passive-aggressive) You can be considerate AND confident. You can make space for others AND take up space yourself. Your comfort matters too. Your voice matters too. Your ideas matter too. And most importantly, YOU matter. @she.shines.inc #Womenleaders #Confidence #selfadvocacy

Your competence at work is judged in seconds. Even when you over-deliver, you can be underestimated. Every day, false assumptions about you are made: — Polite = Weak — Older = Not agile — A foreign accent = Less capable — Introverted =  Not a strong leader — Woman =  Softer voice, less authority It's not just unfair. It's exhausting. So the question is: How do you beat biases without changing who you are? Here’s what I recommend: 𝟭. 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗻𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 → Speak about impact, not effort. → Articulate your value proposition. →“Here’s the problems I solve. Here's how. Here’s the result."  If no one knows what you bring to the table, they won’t invite you to it. 𝟮. 𝗩𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗶𝘀 𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 Silent excellence is wasted potential. → Speak up when it feels risky. → Build real not just strategic relationships. → Share insights where people are paying attention. You don’t need to be loud. You need to be seen. 𝟯. 𝗧𝘂𝗿𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘀 The traits that trigger assumptions? Those are your edge. → Introverted? That’s deep listening. → Accent? That’s global perspective. Don’t flatten yourself to fit. Distinguish yourself to lead. 𝟰. 𝗢𝘄𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 → Say “I recommend” not "I think.” → Hold eye contact. Take up space. → Act like your presence belongs (even when others haven’t caught up.) Confidence isn’t volume. It’s grounding. Bias is everywhere. But perception can be changed. Don't let other people's false assumptions define you. Do you agree? ➕ Follow Deena Priest for strategic career insights. 📌Join my newsletter to build a career grounded in progress, peace and pay.

Have you ever been told you are too quiet? Maybe you don’t speak up enough so, “people worry about your leadership skills.” Or, you don’t advocate enough for yourself so, “you aren’t taking control of your career like a natural born leader.” If so, this article is for you. Maybe you’ve received feedback that there is concern over your analytical skills and “quant chops.” Or, there is some general, yet vague, feedback that leadership worries, “you lack that killer instinct.” Or, maybe it’s the opposite and you are “too bossy” or “too opinionated.” Have you heard any of these things?  I have over my career. Instead of letting them control my path, I got upset, then angry, then curious. I decided that none of these descriptions were really a good read on me, or my leadership potential, and I decided to change the perception. You can too. I’ve interviewed hundreds of women in senior leadership over the years and one thing is clear: we’re navigating a constant push and pull. Be strong, but not too strong. Be likable, but not too soft. Show your ambition, but don’t make anyone uncomfortable. Women aren’t just doing the job, they’re doing the extra work of managing how they’re perceived while they’re doing the job. We wrote this piece for HBR because it’s important for women to know how to not only subvert stereotypes and shape how others see them, but to do it without losing themselves in the process. Too many of us think there is nothing we can do when we hear feedback that doesn’t feel quite right. Sometimes, there are actions we can take. I love this piece so much because it says we don’t have to be victim to the stories about us or around us, we can do something about it.   1️⃣ Craft a counternarrative – Instead of internalizing biased feedback, reshape how people see you by aligning your strengths with what the organization values (on your terms!). 2️⃣ Use positive association – Enthusiasm and future-focused language can subtly shift others’ assumptions  and build trust. 3️⃣ Turn feedback into power – Don’t immediately accept or reject it, investigate it. Use it to understand what success looks like in your environment, and then find authentic ways to express that in your own leadership style. So if you’ve ever felt like your success depends not just on what you do, but how you’re seen…you’re not imagining it. Especially in times of economic uncertainty and shifting priorities, it becomes even more pronounced. And while there are no one-size-fits-all strategies, when women take control of their story, they open doors for themselves AND others. Let’s stop contorting ourselves to fit outdated models. We can rewrite the models themselves. Let me know what you think. https://lnkd.in/gcCSE7XW Colleen Ammerman Harvard Business Review Lakshmi Ramarajan Lisa Sun

How to (female) Diplomat: Navigating Male-Dominated Spaces (Without Losing Your Dignity, Self Respect and Authenticity) A very senior ambassador once threw a top secret briefing on the ground in front of me—fully expecting I’d pick it up. A calculated power move, dressed up as carelessness. I let it lie there. After all, his arms weren’t broken. Instead, I met his eyes and said, “I think you dropped something, Ambassador.” Then waited. Silence. Eventually, he bent down and picked it up. I realised something that day: Some people test you just to see if they can. And if you play along, they’ll keep pushing the boundary. I’ve spent years being the only woman in the room – whether in the army or diplomacy. Sometimes the youngest, too. And often, the only one not trying to prove I belonged by mimicking the men around me. Because here’s the real power move: 𝗕𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳. Trying to blend in might feel like the safest option, but in diplomacy or business, it’s your differences that make you effective. So, if you find yourself in a room where the rules weren’t written with you in mind, try this: 1️⃣ 𝗢𝘄𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗣𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 Ever notice how some men tend to take up space—physically, vocally, and in decision-making? Don’t shrink. Take the seat at the table. Speak first if you have something valuable to say. → 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗶𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘃𝗼𝗹𝘂𝗺𝗲; 𝗶𝘁’𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻. 2️⃣ 𝗣𝗹𝗮𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗟𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗚𝗮𝗺𝗲 I once watched a male colleague dismiss a female diplomat’s input in a negotiation—only for him to miraculously propose the same idea 15 minutes later. Instead of calling it out directly, she let him own it and subtly reinforced the idea so it stuck. The win mattered more than the credit. Every single person in that room knew where the credit lay. → 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝘆 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗲𝗴𝗼. 3️⃣ 𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗔𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗲𝘀 Not everyone in the room wants to see you succeed. But some do. Spot the quiet power brokers—the ones who influence decisions without being the loudest. → 𝗕𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱 𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀. Some of your best allies might be men. 4️⃣ 𝗙𝗹𝗶𝗽 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗽𝘁 𝗼𝗻 “𝗟𝗶𝗸𝗲𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆” Ever been told you’re too direct? Or not assertive enough? Too friendly. Or not friendly enough. The double bind is real. But instead of playing an impossible game, reframe it: →𝗗𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗺𝗲? 𝗗𝗼 𝗜 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳? If the answer is yes, likeability is a bonus, not the goal. 5️⃣ 𝗦𝗲𝘁 𝗕𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀—𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗛𝗼𝗹𝗱 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗺 Whether it’s a demeaning “joke,” being interrupted, a door deliberately slammed in your face—set the boundary. Then hold it. Because the moment you don’t, they’ll push it further. 💡 You don’t need to be louder, tougher, or “one of the guys.” You just need to be strategic about how you show up. What’s worked for you in male-dominated spaces? Let’s share the playbook. 👇

After 100+ MUNs, 50+ keynote sessions, and public speaking events at IIM,IIT,DU Here are 10 hacks that help me perform under pressure: 📌 Use the “3-Second Rule” Start speaking within 3 seconds of reaching the podium. The longer you wait, the harder it gets. 📌 Speak in 3-Point Structures People remember things better in threes. Instead of rambling, structure your speech into three key points. 📌 Power Pause for Impact Before making an important statement, pause for 2-3 seconds. It builds anticipation and makes your words more powerful. 📌 Control Your Tempo Nervous speakers talk fast. Slow down—pausing between ideas makes you sound more authoritative. 📌 Eye Contact = Confidence Instead of scanning randomly, focus on one person for 3 seconds, then move to another. This creates a natural rhythm. 📌 Master “Bridging” Phrases If you forget what to say, use phrases like: “Another key point to consider is…” “What’s important to remember is…” This keeps your flow intact. 📌 The 4-4-4-4 Breathing Trick Before speaking, do this Navy SEAL breathing technique: Inhale for 4 seconds Hold for 4 seconds Exhale for 4 seconds Hold for 4 seconds It instantly calms nerves. 📌 Start with a Question Instead of a boring introduction, grab attention with a thought-provoking question. Example: “What if I told you that confidence is actually a skill, not a talent?” 📌 Practice in High-Pressure Situations Rehearse with loud music in the background (trains focus). Stand on one leg while speaking (improves balance). Record yourself & analyze (spot weaknesses). MOST IMPORTANT: ⭐ Smiling and using open hand gestures makes you look approachable and confident. Avoid crossing your arms or fidgeting. 🍪 Bonus Tip: Public Speaking = Repetition The best speakers aren’t born—they train like athletes. The more you practice, the better you get. Which tip are you trying first? Let me know! LinkedIn LinkedIn News LinkedIn Guide to Creating #linkedin #publicspeaking #linkedintips #linkedinnews

She wasn’t rejected for her skills. She was rejected because her English froze mid-sentence. Riya (name changed) was one of the brightest engineers in her batch. She could code complex systems, explain algorithms, and solve real-world problems. But in every interview, the same thing happened: She’d pause. Stumble. Lose words. And walk out convinced: “I’m not good enough because my English isn’t perfect.” The truth is: Recruiters don’t reject you for grammar. They reject you for the nervousness that takes over when you treat English as a test of intelligence. So here’s the 8-step system I built with her: 1️⃣ We switched from ‘perfect English’ to ‘clear English’. Your interview isn’t an IELTS exam. You don’t need Shakespeare. You need clarity. Instead of long, confusing sentences → we practiced short, direct ones. Example: ❌ “I am desirous of contributing in multifaceted capacities…” ✅ “I want to contribute by solving X and improving Y.” 2️⃣ We built her “answer bank” of 20 power phrases. Instead of memorizing the whole script, she had reusable building blocks. For instance: “One of my key strengths is…” “A challenge I overcame was…” “Here’s how I added value in my last role…” This gave her confidence anchors she could lean on anytime she froze. 3️⃣ We recorded her answers daily. Science shows self-review accelerates fluency by 40%. Listening back helped her fix hesitation and filler words. 4��⃣ We practiced mock interviews in Hinglish. Yes, half Hindi, half English. Because confidence comes before fluency. Once she nailed the answers in a mix, we gradually switched to full English. 5️⃣ We trained pauses as a strength. Silence feels scary in an interview, but it signals confidence. She learned to pause, breathe, and continue instead of rushing. 6️⃣ We expanded her vocabulary with “workplace words.” Not fancy jargon, but 50 words recruiters hear daily: “collaborated,” “resolved,” “delivered,” “improved.” The kind of words that show impact. 7️⃣ We focused on body language, not just words. A confident smile, steady tone, and eye contact make small mistakes invisible. Recruiters remember presence more than prepositions. 8️⃣ We rehearsed under pressure. I simulated real interview stress: timers, tough follow-ups, even deliberate interruptions. So the real interview felt easier than practice. The result? Riya went from 5 straight rejections… To landing her dream role at Infosys in her 7th interview. Not because she suddenly became “fluent.” But because she showed confidence, clarity, and ownership. 👉 If you know someone struggling with English in interviews, Repost this and help your friends land their dream job too. #interviewtips #englishspeaking #careercoaching #dreamjob #interviewcoach

People don’t leave companies. They leave managers who drain them. Research from Gallup shows that 70% of the variance in team engagement is driven by the manager. Which means: how you lead determines if people stay invested, grow fast, and deliver results. Not with pressure. Not with perks. But with trust. Here are 11 daily leadership moves that build trust without ever needing to say, “You can trust me”: 1. Protect their time like it’s a limited resource ↳ Wasting time signals “you don’t matter” ↳ Cut meetings short, start them on time 2. Keep every promise, even small ones ↳ Broken words quietly destroy reliability ↳ Track what you promise and follow through 3. Ask before you decide on their behalf ↳ People support what they help shape ↳ Say: “What would you do here?” 4. Normalize boundaries and breaks without guilt ↳ Always-on culture leads to quiet quitting ↳ Say “log off now” and model it 5. Invite disagreement, not just agreement ↳ Teams grow when challenge feels safe ↳ Ask: “What might we be missing?” 6. Give feedback with care, not control ↳ Harsh feedback shuts down growth ↳ Ask: “Shall I offer an observation?” 7. Own mistakes, share credit generously ↳ Trust builds when ego steps aside ↳ Say: “They made this happen, not me” 8. Show interest beyond their current role ↳ Growth thrives when dreams feel seen ↳ Ask: “What do you want next?” 9. Stay calm when pressure hits high ↳ Panic spreads faster than logic ↳ Breathe before speaking, model steady focus 10. Say why they matter, often ↳ Unseen work leads to disengagement ↳ Send notes to show you care 11. Recognize people the way they value ↳ One-size praise doesn’t build connection ↳ Ask: “What kind of praise lands?” Great leadership isn’t about having the answers. It’s about creating an environment where others can rise. Which of these are you already doing? Share with me in the comments. ♻ Repost to build better leaders around you. ➕ Follow me (Meera Remani) for tools trusted by global leaders & teams. 🔔 Want strategic leadership tools in your inbox? Join my newsletter below.

Stop Saying Sorry All The Time!! ⛔ I used to apologize for everything. - Slight delay? Sorry. - Made a tiny mistake? Sorry. - Even when it's not my fault?? Sorry. 😔 Here’s the cold truth: unnecessary apologies make you look less credible. They strip the word “sorry” of its power when you actually need it! So, how can you speak confidently, without over-apologizing? Here Are 9 Ways to Ditch “Sorry”: 1. Took a while? ↳ Instead of “Sorry for the delay,” ↳ Say “Thanks for your patience.” 2. Your time matters, but so does mine: ↳ Instead of “Sorry to bother you,” ↳ Say “When you have a moment, could you...?” 3. Declining requests: ↳ Instead of “Sorry, I’m not able to help with that,” ↳ Say “I’m unable to, but I appreciate you thinking of me.” 4. Missing a call/meeting: ↳ Instead of “Sorry I missed the meeting,” ↳ Say “Thanks for your understanding. I wasn’t able to join.” 5. Setting boundaries: ↳ Instead of “Sorry, I can’t make that,” ↳ Say “I’m unavailable at that time. How about...?” 6. Follow-ups: ↳ Instead of “Sorry to follow up again,” ↳ Say “Just following up to check the status on…” 7. Made a small error?: ↳ Instead of “Sorry, my bad!” ↳ Say “Thanks for letting me know. I will rectify it.” 8. Taking up space: ↳ Instead of “Sorry for taking so much of your time,” ↳ Say “Thanks for your time today.” 9. Self-confidence: ↳ Instead of “Sorry, this might be a stupid question,” ↳ Say “Here’s a question that I’d like clarity on...” 👉 Stop shrinking yourself. It's not helping anyone. Let’s ditch the unnecessary “Sorry” and start owning our words. One unapologetic conversation at a time. #SorryNotSorry ♻️ Repost to help empower someone today! Follow me, Shulin Lee, for more. P.S. I'm not asking you to be rude. If you’re saying “sorry” all the time? It’s probably not needed.

A group of people isn't a team. Until they have trust. After 25 years of working with leaders, I've learned this: Trust isn't a given.  It's earned. Slowly.  Methodically. With each interaction.  With every hard choice. Some leaders get there intuitively.  The best ones build it intentionally. Here's their blueprint: PILLAR 1: CHARACTER TRUST (Integrity) Without integrity, nothing else matters. • Do what you say you'll do • Take radical ownership of mistakes • Be honest even when it's uncomfortable • Make decisions based on principles, not politics PILLAR 2: CAPABILITY TRUST (Competence) Respect follows competence. • Demonstrate you know what you're talking about • Choose problems that advance the mission • Make good decisions under pressure • Deliver results, not just stories PILLAR 3: CONSISTENCY TRUST (Reliability) Consistency compounds momentum. • Build reliable patterns your team can count on • Follow through on commitments repeatedly • Codify your reliability with systems • React calmly under stress PILLAR 4: CONNECTION TRUST (Relatability) People follow leaders they feel connected to. • Care about their success, not just their output • Understand what motivates each team member • Be confident enough to be humble • Invest genuinely in your people The sequence matters: Try to be relatable before you're reliable?  You'll seem fake. Try to show competence before integrity?  You'll seem dangerous. Build the foundation first. Trust is harder to build than to break.  But this is what makes it so valuable. When you have it, everything else becomes possible. • Ambitious goals • Difficult conversations • Teams that exceed expectations Most leaders try to drive performance before they deliver trust. Don't be most leaders. ♻️ Share this if you think your team could be more trusting. 🔔 Follow Dave Kline for more practical leadership insights.

In which of these 2 scenarios, will a sales rep sell more blenders? a) She nails the demo, flawlessly blending a smoothie in front of potential customers b) Same exact pitch, but when she pours the smoothie, she spills it all over the table Dr. Richard Wiseman conducted this exact study. More people bought the blender when she made an absolute mess. This phenomenon is called the "other shoe effect." The underlying principle: We instinctively know people aren’t perfect. So when someone appears too polished in high-stakes moments—job interviews, pitches, first dates—part of our brain asks: “What are they hiding? When does the other shoe drop?” The longer someone appears flawless, the more suspicious we get. This creates a dangerous cycle: • You try to appear perfect in the first impression • The other person's brain gets increasingly distracted wondering about your hidden flaws • When your imperfection finally shows (and it will), it hits much harder than if you'd acknowledged it upfront I learned this the hard way. When I first wrote Captivate, I tried to sound like an academic. My editor called it out: “This doesn’t sound like you.” So I rewrote the intro to be me, very me in a vulnerable way: “Hi, I’m Vanessa. I’m a recovering awkward person.” That vulnerability built instant trust. By dropping my shoe early, I built trust immediately and let readers know they were in good company. This is also how I introduce myself in conversations, and I have noticed everyone laughs and relaxes when I say it. There are a couple situations where you can actively use this effect: • Job interviews: After sharing your strengths, say "One area I’m still growing in is public speaking—which is why this role excites me." • Investor pitches: After a strong open, confess: "One challenge we’re still working through is [X], and here’s how we’re tackling it." • Team meetings: Proactively raise project risks, then offer a solution. Don’t let others discover it first. Rules to remember: • Choose authentic vulnerabilities, not fake ones • Drop your shoe AFTER establishing competence, not before • Pair vulnerability with accountability - show how you're addressing it Remember: The goal isn't to appear perfect. It's to appear trustworthy. And trustworthy people acknowledge their imperfections before others have to discover them.