Approaches To Public Speaking Anxiety

I was shadowing a coaching client in her leadership meeting when I watched this brilliant woman apologize six times in 30 minutes. 1. “Sorry, this might be off-topic, but..." 2. “I'm could be wrong, but what if we..." 3. “Sorry again, I know we're running short on time..." 4. “I don't want to step on anyone's toes, but..." 5. “This is just my opinion, but..." 6. “Sorry if I'm being too pushy..." Her ideas? They were game-changing. Every single one. Here's what I've learned after decades of coaching women leaders: Women are masterful at reading the room and keeping everyone comfortable. It's a superpower. But when we consistently prioritize others' comfort over our own voice, we rob ourselves, and our teams, of our full contribution. The alternative isn't to become aggressive or dismissive. It's to practice “gracious assertion": • Replace "Sorry to interrupt" with "I'd like to add to that" • Replace "This might be stupid, but..." with "Here's another perspective" • Replace "I hope this makes sense" with "Let me know what questions you have" • Replace "I don't want to step on toes" with "I have a different approach" • Replace "This is just my opinion" with "Based on my experience" • Replace "Sorry if I'm being pushy" with "I feel strongly about this because" But how do you know if you're hitting the right note? Ask yourself these three questions: • Am I stating my needs clearly while respecting others' perspectives? (Assertive) • Am I dismissing others' input or bulldozing through objections? (Aggressive) • Am I hinting at what I want instead of directly asking for it? (Passive-aggressive) You can be considerate AND confident. You can make space for others AND take up space yourself. Your comfort matters too. Your voice matters too. Your ideas matter too. And most importantly, YOU matter. @she.shines.inc #Womenleaders #Confidence #selfadvocacy

If you tend to overthink and worry a lot, schedule “worry time.” I’m serious. Research shows that setting aside just 5–15 minutes a day to write down your worries called can reduce anxiety. It’s called ‘worry postponement’ or ‘stimulus control for worry.’ You’re not suppressing the thoughts; you’re containing them. When worries pop up later, remind yourself: “I’ll save this for worry time.” It’s a simple shift that creates space, clarity, and calm. P.S. Have you ever tried something like this? 📖 Research: Dippel, A., Brosschot, J. F., & Verkuil, B. (2024). Effects of worry postponement on daily worry: A meta-analysis. International Journal of Cognitive Therapy, 17(1), 160-178. McGowan, S. K., Behar, E., & Luhmann, M. (2012). A preliminary investigation of stimulus control training for worry: Effects on anxiety, negative affect, and sleep disturbance. Behavior Therapy, 44(3), 566–578.

Confession: I'm a nervous public speaker… (yet I’ll make $1M+ from keynotes this year). Here are 9 strategies that turned my deepest fear into a powerful strength: PHASE 1: PREP WORK Strategy 1: Study the Best. We have the world's best speakers at our fingertips. Use them. Find 3-5 speakers you admire. Watch their talks on YouTube at 0.75x speed. Take notes on their structure and pacing, voice modulation, movement and gestures, audience engagement. Strategy 2: Create Clear Structure. Great speakers don't deliver speeches, they tell stories. Map your journey explicitly: opening hook, 3 key points, memorable close. Tell the audience where you're taking them. Strategy 3: Build Your "Lego Blocks." Don't memorize your entire speech. That's a trap. Instead, perfect these moments: your opening 30 seconds, key transitions, punchlines and closers. Practice in segments, not sequences. When things go sideways (they will), you'll adapt instead of freeze. Weird trick: Practice once while walking or jogging. It simulates the heart rate spike you'll feel on stage. PHASE 2: PRE-STAGE Strategy 4: Address the Spotlight. The Spotlight Effect: We think everyone's watching our every move. They're not. Use the "So What?" approach: Name your worst fear, ask "So what if it happens?", realize it's never that bad. You'll stumble? So what. Life goes on. Your family still loves you. Strategy 5: Get Into Character. Create your speaker persona. Ask yourself: What traits do they have? How do they move? What's their energy? Flip the switch. Become that character. It's not fake, it's your best self. Strategy 6: Eliminate Stress. The "Physiological Sigh" kills anxiety fast: Double-inhale through your nose, long exhale through your mouth, repeat 2-3 times. Science-backed. Immediate impact. PHASE 3: DELIVERY Strategy 7: Cut the Tension. Last week, they asked what song I wanted to enter to. I said "Girl on Fire" by Alicia Keys. They thought I was joking. I wasn't. "It's my 1-year-old's favorite song. Figured he'd be more excited to watch if Dad entered to his jam." Instant laughter. Tension gone. Audience on my side. Find your tension breaker. Use it early. Strategy 8: Play the Lava Game. Your pockets and torso are lava. Don't touch them. This forces you to gesture broadly, open your body, project confidence. Big gestures early build momentum. Strategy 9: Move Purposefully. Don't pace like you're nervous. Move like you own the room. Slow. Deliberate. Purposeful. Use movement to create dramatic pauses. Let your words land. Start with one speech, one strategy: Pick your next presentation—could be a team meeting, a toast, whatever. Choose ONE strategy from this list. Master it. Then add another. Public speaking is a muscle. These strategies are your workout plan. The more you practice, the stronger you get. Remember: Everyone gets nervous. The difference is having a system. Now you have one. Use it. Practice it. Watch yourself transform.

I filmed myself in meetings for 30 days. These unconscious habits were sabotaging my authority. So I studied 32 confident leaders. The most powerful habit was the easiest to copy (# 7!) Here are the 8 silent saboteurs making you look weak (and what confident leaders do instead): 1. Speaking in upward inflections ↳ Ending statements like questions undermines authority ↳ Practice speaking with downward inflections to convey certainty 2. Hiding behind digital communication ↳ Avoiding face-to-face / chat only conversations signals fear  ↳ Choose in-person meetings for important discussions (or video) 3. Excessive self-deprecation ↳ Using humor to put yourself down reinforces insecurity ↳ Share achievements without minimizing them 4. Not volunteering to share your mistakes ↳ Fear of mistakes shows lack of resilience ↳ Embrace learning from failures openly 5. Defensive body language ↳ Crossed arms and hunched posture signal fear ↳ Practice open postures, even in challenging situations 6. Excessive agreement ↳ Always conforming shows lack of conviction ↳ Say when you don't agree, suggest alternative routes 7. Speaking ssssuper fast ↳ Speaking too quickly suggests anxiety and eagerness to please ↳ Practice deliberate pacing in conversations. Use silence. 8. Dismissing your own ideas ↳ Speaking too quickly suggests anxiety and eagerness to please  ↳ Present ideas directly without preemptive disclaimers All the soft skills and the way you present have a big impact. What’s the saboteur you discovered in yourself and what are you doing instead? Let me know in the comments! __ ♻️ Repost to inspire people in your network! Follow Helene Guillaume Pabis for daily tips on personal growth!

Last night, former President Obama and First Lady Michelle reminded us of the power of compelling storytelling in their speeches at the Democratic National Convention. But what’s the secret behind these moments of excellence? Jon Favreau, Obama’s former director of speechwriting, shared five golden rules that are just as applicable to our business presentations as they are to political speeches. Here are five insights you can apply when delivering your next presentation, whether on stage, in a meeting, or in the boardroom: 1. The story is more important than the words Too often, we focus on the right words, but the real question is, “What story am I telling?” Before writing a speech, Favreau would always begin with a conversation, drawing on Obama’s ability to outline a clear narrative first and build the words around it. Always start with the story you’re trying to convey—it’s the backbone of your message. 2. Keep it simple Long presentations may feel thorough, but they are often forgettable. Favreau emphasized brevity: aim for twenty minutes or less. "A speech about everything is a speech about nothing." Narrow your message down to the essential points. 3. Address counterarguments upfront Don’t wait for the Q&A to address objections. In business, as in politics, it's key to acknowledge opposing views and deal with them during your presentation. When Obama delivered his Health Care Reform Plan, he anticipated objections and tackled them head-on. 4. Empathy is key Knowing your audience isn’t enough. You have to step into their shoes. Obama’s speeches resonated because they were written in a language his audience understood. Whether you're presenting to colleagues, clients, or an entire audience, connect by understanding their challenges and perspectives. 5. Persuasion requires inspiration Logic alone won’t motivate. The best way to connect is through stories that touch the heart. In Obama’s 2008 victory speech, Favreau chose the story of Ann Nixon Cooper, a 106-year-old woman who had seen the full spectrum of progress in America. Her story was the perfect reminder that change, though slow, is always possible. Whether you're stepping on stage or presenting in the boardroom, these timeless tips from Obama’s speechwriting playbook can help you connect with your audience, deliver your message effectively, and inspire action. What stories are you sharing in your presentations? #Leadership #PublicSpeaking #Storytelling #Empathy #Inspiration

Want your words to actually sell? Here’s a simple roadmap I've found incredibly helpful: Think of crafting your message like taking someone on a mini-journey: 1. Hook them with curiosity: Your headline is the first "hello."  Make it intriguing enough to stop the scroll.  Instead of just saying "Email Marketing Tips," try something like "Want a 20% revenue jump in the next 60 days? (Here's the email secret)."  See the difference? Promise + Specificity = Attention. 2. Tell a story with a villain: This might sound dramatic, but hear me out.  What's the problem your audience is facing?  What's the frustration, the obstacle, the "enemy" they're battling?  For the email example, maybe it's "wasting hours on emails that no one opens."  Giving that problem a name creates an instant connection and a sense of purpose for your solution. 3. Handle the "yeah, but..." in their head: We all have those internal objections.  "I don't have time," "It costs too much," "Will it even work for me?"  Great copy anticipates these doubts and addresses them head-on within the message. 4. Show, don't just tell (Proof!): People are naturally skeptical.  Instead of just saying "it works," show them.  Even a simple "Join thousands of others who've seen real results" adds weight. Testimonials, even short ones, are gold. 5. Make it crystal clear what you want them to do (CTA):   Don't leave them guessing!  "Learn the exact steps in my latest guide" or "Grab your free checklist now" are direct and tell them exactly what to do and what they'll get.  Notice the benefit in the CTA example: "Get sculpted abs in just 4 weeks without dieting." And when you're thinking about where you're sharing this (LinkedIn post, email, etc.), there are different ways to structure your message. The P-A-S (Problem-Agitate-Solution) or A-I-D-A (Attention-Interest-Desire-Action) frameworks are classics for a reason. The core difference I've learned? Good copywriting isn't about shouting about your amazing product. It's about understanding them – their challenges, their desires – and positioning your solution as the answer in a way that feels like a conversation, not a sales pitch.

In 2008, Michael Phelps won Olympic GOLD - completely blind. The moment he dove in, his goggles filled with water. But he kept swimming. Most swimmers would’ve fallen apart. Phelps didn’t - because he had trained for chaos, hundreds of times. His coach, Bob Bowman, would break his goggles, remove clocks, exhaust him deliberately. Why? Because when you train under stress, performance becomes instinct. Psychologists call this stress inoculation. When you expose yourself to small, manageable stress: - Your amygdala (fear centre) becomes less reactive. - Your prefrontal cortex (logic centre) stays calmer under pressure. Phelps had rehearsed swimming blind so often that it felt normal. He knew the stroke count. He hit the wall without seeing it. And won GOLD by 0.01 seconds. The same science is why: - Navy SEALs tie their hands and practice underwater survival. - Astronauts simulate system failures in zero gravity. - Emergency responders train inside burning buildings. And you can build it too. Here’s how: ✅ Expose yourself to small discomforts. Take cold showers. Wake up 30 minutes earlier. Speak up in meetings. The goal is to build confidence that you can handle hard things. ✅ Use quick stress resets. Try cyclic sighing: Inhale deeply through your nose. Take a second small inhale. Exhale slowly through your mouth. Repeat 3-5 times to calm your system fast. ✅ Strengthen emotional endurance. Instead of avoiding difficult conversations, hard tasks, or feedback - lean into them. Facing small emotional challenges trains you for bigger ones later. ✅ Celebrate small victories. Every time you stay calm, adapt, or keep going under pressure - recognise it. These tiny wins are building your mental "muscle memory" for resilience. As a new parent, I know my son Krish will face his own "goggles-filled-with-water" moments someday. So the best I can do is model resilience myself. Because resilience isn’t gifted - it’s trained. And when you train your brain for chaos, you can survive anything. So I hope you do the same. If this made you pause, feel free to repost and share the thought. #healthandwellness #mentalhealth #stress

I've delivered 500+ keynotes. Here's a pro-tip for speaking/presenting. Your pre-performance ritual isn't optional. It's essential. The difference between good and transformational always comes down to those final 15 minutes. HERE'S MY NON-NEGOTIABLE RITUAL: T-minus 30 minutes: Tech check complete. No more logistics. T-minus 15 minutes: Complete isolation begins. This is when I start programming my nervous system for peak state. T-minus 10 minutes: Active preparation. I pace backstage, repeating my opening lines until they're cellular: "Change itself has changed..." "When we think about transformation..." "Let me tell you about the moment..." T-minus 5 minutes: Full state activation. No conversations. No distractions. Just presence. Why this matters: Your opening determines everything. If those first 30 seconds land perfectly, you're in flow for the entire presentation. If they don't, you spend 10 minutes trying to find your rhythm. THE SCIENCE: Your prefrontal cortex can hold 7±2 pieces of information. Your opening sequence needs all of that bandwidth. A "quick chat" deletes 3-4 of those slots. Now you're on stage trying to REMEMBER your opening instead of BEING it. FOR SPEAKERS/PRESENTERS: Protect your ritual. Write it into your contract: "15-minute isolation period before stage time required for optimal performance." This isn't being difficult. It's being professional. FOR THOSE HIRING SPEAKERS: Want maximum impact? Give us space to create it. We're not being antisocial. We're preparing to transform your audience. Think of us like athletes before a game or surgeons before surgery. The ritual isn't preference, it's preparation. THE FRAMEWORK: 1. Decide your optimal activation time (10-30 minutes) 2. Communicate boundaries clearly and early 3. Design your ritual for YOUR nervous system 4. Practice until it's automatic 5. Never apologize for protecting your performance Your boundaries aren't limitations. They're the architecture of excellence. What pre-performance ritual would unlock your next level?

When I started sharing my speaking journey publicly, everything changed. The traditional business advice says "fake it till you make it." But after working with hundreds of entrepreneurs, I've learned something counterintuitive: your biggest breakthrough comes from being transparently vulnerable about your struggles. I was on a call with a successful founder last week. When I asked if he'd spoken at conferences, he froze. "I can't even handle team meetings without sweating." When I shared my own speaking disaster story, forgetting my entire opening at a 500-person conference, something beautiful happened. He realized everyone wanted him to succeed, not fail. Here's what I learned about building in public through transparent speaking: 1. Vulnerability Broadcasting  Share your panic attacks, forgotten openings, and sweaty moments openly. Building your confidence journey in public permits others to be human. Your struggles become someone else's breakthrough story. Speaking fears are universal, your transparency breaks the shame cycle. Others see that success isn't about perfection, it's about persistence. 2. Story Stack Development  Document your 5 go-to stories for any situation and share them. Building your narrative library in public creates accountability for authenticity. Your stories become templates for other entrepreneurs to adapt. Transparency about your frameworks helps others structure their own experiences. 3. Confidence Protocol Sharing  Show your exact pre-speech routine and why it works. Building your confidence systems in public creates replicable frameworks. Your meditation, breathing, and preparation become roadmaps for others. 4. Authority Multiplier Transparency Document how one speech creates 50+ opportunities. Building your authority systems in public shows the compound effect. Your podcast invitations and connection requests become proof of concept. Transparency about speaking ROI motivates others to overcome their fears. 5. Failure Reframe Strategy Share how disasters become your best teaching moments. Building your resilience story in public transforms setbacks into comebacks. Your 15 seconds of silence become someone else's courage catalyst. Transparency about recovery shows that perfection isn't the goal. Others learn that audiences want value, not flawless delivery. This isn't just about becoming a better speaker, it's about creating beautiful, systemized, and impactful ways to share your expertise with the world. When you build your speaking journey in public, you're not just overcoming fears. You're showing other entrepreneurs that their voice matters and their message deserves to be heard. __ Enjoy this? ♻️ Repost it to your network and follow Matt Gray for more. Curious how this could look inside your business? DM me ‘System’ and I’ll walk you through how we help clients make it happen. This is for high-commitment founders only.

After training 98,000+ people, this is what I found in common. Now, even though 98000 is a big number, the difficulties each one of them had, and the challenges they faced in public speaking were very common. So I thought, why not share it with you & help you tackle them as well? Let’s begin! → “I am shy” → “I mumble a lot” → “I can’t think straight” → “I start to sweat & my voice shakes” → “Words don’t come out of my mouth” → “I am not comfortable speaking in front of others” → “I feel like I don’t connect with my audience on a personal level” If any of this stands true for you, here is how you can work it out in your comfort: “I am shy” ↳ Record yourself every day on your mobile phone ↳ Share a personal story with a friend to practice speaking openly. ↳ Start with topics you’re comfortable with and gradually progress. “I mumble a lot” ↳ Focus on speaking one word at a time. ↳ Use tongue twisters to improve articulation. ↳ Record yourself and identify words that need clear pronunciation. “I can’t think straight” ↳ Break down your content into key points. ↳ Summarize complex ideas in one sentence. ↳ Use visual aids or cue cards to guide your speech. “I start to sweat & my voice shakes” ↳ Practice controlled breathing exercises ↳ Gradually expose yourself to speaking situations ↳ Drink water before speaking to prevent dehydration “Words don’t come out of my mouth” ↳ Deliberately slow down your speech pace. ↳ Practice pausing briefly between sentences. ↳ Concentrate on pronouncing each word clearly. “I am not comfortable speaking in front of others” ↳ Incorporate light humor into your speech. ↳ Begin by speaking in front of a supportive friend. ↳ Choose a familiar topic for your first public speaking engagement. “I feel like I don’t connect with my audience on a personal level” ↳ Share personal anecdotes or stories. ↳ Encourage audience participation by asking questions. ↳ Maintain consistent eye contact with individuals in the audience. Remember, the only way to overcome your fear of public speaking is to do it again and again. So keep practicing & you’ll slay on stage! Oh, and if you want to learn Public Speaking and Communication at your fingertips, follow Divas Gupta & join 32566 great communicators! PS - Know someone who might benefit from this? Share it right away! #selfdevelopment #publicspeaking #communication #personaldevelopment