Tips for Solution-Focused Conversations

Passionate problem solvers are easy to label as "too negative" or "having an agenda". Here's a good approach to bringing people on the journey: 1. Start with what you see and hear Describe specific behaviors, patterns, or outcomes as objectively as possible (knowing that we can never be truly objective). Be mindful of your potential biases. Are your emotions and perspective narrowing what you bring up? Avoid using loaded or triggering language. Keep it neutral and clear. 2. Invite others to share what they see and hear By starting with your own observations, you are setting an example for the rest of the team. Invite the team to share their perspectives and observations in ways that focus on understanding, rather than labeling or jumping to conclusions. In the right context, it might be better to start here. 3. Look inwards, observe, and listen Just as you describe outward behaviors, turn inward and notice how you feel about what you’re seeing and hearing. Instead of saying, “This place is a pressure cooker,” try, “I feel a lot of pressure.” Avoid jumping to conclusions or ascribing blame. Again, invite other people to do the same. 4. Spot areas to explore With observations and emotions on the table, identify areas worth examining. Avoid rushing to label them as problems or opportunities. Instead, frame them as questions or areas to look into. This keeps the tone open and focused on discovery. 5. Explore and go deeper As potential areas emerge, repeat the earlier steps: describe what you see, invite others to share, and observe how you feel. It is a recursive/iterative process—moving up and down levels of detail. 6. Look for alignment and patterns Notice where people are starting to align on what they’d like to see more—or less—of. Pay attention to areas where there’s consistent divergence—these are opportunities as well. Ask, “What might it take to narrow the divide?” 7. Frame clear opportunities Once patterns emerge, focus on turning them into clear opportunities. These are not solutions—they’re starting points for exploration. For example: “We could improve this handoff process” or “We’re not all on the same page about priorities.” Keep it actionable and forward-looking. 8. Brainstorm small experiments Use opportunities as a springboard to brainstorm simple, manageable experiments. Think of these as ways to test and learn, not perfect fixes. For example: “What if we tried a weekly check-in for this process?” Keep the ideas practical and easy to implement. 9. Stay grounded and flexible Be mindful of how the group is feeling and responding as you brainstorm. Are people rushing to solutions or becoming stuck? If so, take a step back and revisit earlier steps to re-center the group. 10. Step back. Let the group own it Once there’s momentum, step back and hand over ownership to the group. Avoid holding onto the issue as “your problem.” Trust the process you’ve built and the team’s ability to move things forward collectively.

When people come to us with a problem, it is tempting to provide an instant answer. After all they came for our expertise and there is nothing so rewarding as getting a dopamine hit in our brain when we know the answer. Ahhh. Such fun.   However, the path to accountability is filled with asking good questions and creating space for others to think and solve rather than us providing answers.   Often just by asking the questions below, an individual will have a breakthrough and discover a solution on their own.   FOCUS QUESTIONS ON THEIR INSIGHT These questions can be applied to executive meetings, coaching employees, and solving our own problems.   1.    What is the problem you are trying to solve? It is so tempting to skip this step, but it is essential if you want to create ownership. I find I have to help people step back from their need for a quick answer and help them understand the context of their problem. When you help them frame the problem, the problem is often half solved.   2.    What are the main obstacles to solving the problem? Gaining context to where and how the problem exists provides guidelines for what the eventual solution will be. Without this clarity, they can create an overly simplistic or complex answer.   3.    What have you already tried? Avoid the temptation to jump in and give advice. They don’t need it. Most people have already done a lot of thinking and attempts before asking for input.   4.    What happens if you don't solve this problem? This question helps create a deeper sense of urgency and ownership. It also reveals key issues that the final solutions will have to solve for.   5.    How would you know you succeeded? The answer gives the parameters and evidence needed to know a solution would be a success. Without this answer, their solution is unlikely to meet all the needs.   6.    What do you think you need to succeed? The focus is on the individual’s ability to think and act. They are creating answers for the future. They are becoming better problem solvers and being more accountable.   MAKE SPACE As I ask these questions, I work hard to not fill in the silence with my insights. I do have ideas on what they should do. But I will never make them more accountable if I keep sharing my expertise. Each of us can create a more accountable workplace by the space we create to help others think. How do you create more accountability? embrace your #pitofsuccess Dave Ulrich Neil Hunter Tracy Maylett, Ed.D. Tyson Lutz Destanee Casillas, MSOD Gwendolyn F. Turner Lisa Strogal, MBA, MCC, RYT Vanessa Homewood Tia Newcomer Clint Betts Chris Deaver Gina London Joy Moore Kendall Lyman

Performance conversations are more than evaluations—they're opportunities to inspire reflection, growth, and clarity. I've been reflecting on how we can approach these moments with greater purpose.   Too often, we dive into discussions focused solely on outcomes or metrics. But what if we paused to look deeper? What if we encouraged employees—and ourselves—to approach these moments from different vantage points: stepping back to observe like a fly on the wall, zooming out to the balcony for perspective, and then engaging with purpose on the dance floor?   This layered approach challenges us to ask meaningful questions: "What patterns am I noticing? How do my efforts align with broader goals? What could I do better?" It’s a mindset shift that transforms performance conversations into opportunities for growth, even when outcomes aren’t ideal. Here are a few practical ways to bring this perspective to life: 1. Start with Observation (Fly on the Wall): Before diving into feedback, encourage employees to reflect on their contributions objectively. Ask questions like " What moments felt like your strongest? What would you approach differently? help set a tone of self-awareness." 2. Zoom Out to the Bigger Picture (Balcony): Help employees see how their work connects to broader team and organizational goals. This shift in perspective ensures the conversation isn’t just about isolated outcomes but about long-term impact and alignment. 3. Engage with Purpose (Dance Floor): End every conversation with actionable steps and encouragement. Even when feedback is tough, leave employees with clarity and optimism. A simple affirmation like "I believe in your ability to grow from this", can turn a challenging moment into a catalyst for improvement. Performance conversations are a dance between reflection and action, but they’re also about perspective—knowing when to step back, when to zoom out, and when to engage fully. When we guide our teams to critique their own contributions—not to judge, but to grow—we unlock their potential and leave them inspired to improve. Would love to hear your perspective.

Last week, we were hired by a large U.S. management consulting company to coach their directors who were transitioning into partner roles. These super-bright participants had excelled at top business schools and used their sharp analytical skills to solve complex client problems. However, as they moved into management, their analytical prowess became less effective and, in some cases, even obstructive in building strong relationships. Here’s what we discovered: these directors were using listening and interactions primarily as a means to problem-solve. They listened intending to identify, define, and analyse the client’s issues, then quickly offered solutions. While this approach served them well in consulting, it often hindered their ability to build the deep, relational connections necessary for business. Top 3 Takeaways with Action Steps: 1. Listen Beyond Problem-Solving: Please focus on emotions and values. When someone comes to you with a problem, go beyond summarizing details. Pay attention to the emotions, values, and strengths they express. This helps in building a more genuine connection. 2. Shift Your Approach: Recognize relationship needs. Understand that effective management requires more than problem-solving. It involves developing relationships, understanding others’ perspectives, and addressing their emotional and personal needs. 3. Practice Deep Listening: Practice naming the emotions and values you hear during conversations. This simple shift can transform your interactions from transactional to relational, fostering stronger connections with your team and clients. Warmth and connection are crucial as you grow into leadership. Are you ready to move beyond problem-solving and build meaningful relationships? #Leadership #Empathy #ActiveListening #Management #ExecutivePresence #Training

The 2-second tweak to 𝗳𝗶𝘅 𝘁𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗰𝗼����𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 (from “why” to “how”) Great leaders ask great questions. But even the best intentions can backfire when a simple “why” question triggers defensiveness instead of solutions. Chris Voss, the former FBI hostage negotiator, teaches us a powerful truth: “𝗵𝗼𝘄” 𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝘂𝗻𝗹𝗼𝗰𝗸 𝗰𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗮𝗯𝗼𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗲 “𝘄𝗵𝘆” 𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗸. Asking “why” may sound innocent, but it often puts people on the defensive —especially in tough conversations. By flipping your “why” into a “how,” you create room for trust, problem-solving, and shared ownership. Here are 10 common “why” questions leaders should 𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗿𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗼 “𝗵𝗼𝘄” 𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀: ----- Instead of: “Why isn’t this project done yet?” Ask: “How can we clear obstacles to move this project forward?” This shifts the focus from blame to solutions. ----- Instead of: “Why aren’t you motivated?” Ask: “How can I help you feel more engaged in your work?” Builds empathy and trust. ----- Instead of: “Why do you think this isn’t working?” Ask: “How can we adapt this approach to make it more effective?” Inspires creative thinking and collaboration. ----- Instead of: “Why did you choose that approach?” Ask: “How did you decide on this approach, and what are the key factors driving it?” This encourages explanation without putting the other person on the defensive. ----- Instead of: “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Ask: “How can we improve communication moving forward?” This opens the door for constructive feedback instead of defensiveness. ----- Instead of: “Why are team members disengaged?” Ask: “How can we create an environment where the team feels more connected and engaged?” This shifts the conversation to actionable steps rather than just diagnosing problems. ----- Instead of: “Why aren’t you hitting your targets?” Ask: “How can we work together to get you closer to your targets?” This communicates support and shared accountability. ----- Instead of: “Why is this taking so long?” Ask: “How can we work together to get this back on track?” “How” conveys partnership and reduces the pressure of feeling judged. ----- Instead of: “Why do we always run into this issue?” Ask: “How can we address the root cause of this problem?” Shifts from frustration to actionable problem-solving. ----- Instead of: “Why didn’t this go as planned?” Ask: “How can we adjust our process to prevent this in the future?” Encourages learning and improvement over assigning blame. ----- The key takeaway: Leadership conversations should empower, not interrogate. Reframing “why” as “how” changes the tone from critical to constructive, fostering trust and solutions. ---- 𝗤𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: Which reframing resonates with you most? Share your thoughts below ⤵ ---- ♻️ Repost and share these leadership tips ➕ Follow me, Ashley V., for more 📲 Book an anonymous coaching session

13 Killer Coaching Questions to Use in Every Conversation. 1. What’s the ideal outcome you’re looking for? 💡 Clarifies the goal and objective to focus and align efforts. 2. Walk me through what you’ve tried so far, your approach, and your messaging. 💡Identifies processes, gaps and opportunities for improvement. 3. How have you handled a similar situation before? 💡Leverages past experience to uncover potential solutions. 4. When you say, “the customer is pushing back and is only concerned with price,” can you share more about that? 💡Digs deeper to uncover the meaning behind words to align definitions, rather than assume what they mean. 5. What assumptions might you be making around this situation? 💡Challenges bias to uncover overlooked perspectives. 6. What’s the personal impact if you achieve your goals this quarter? 💡Highlights the value they'll receive which ignites motivation. 7. If nothing changes, how will this effect you, your role, and personal brand? 💡Creates urgency by focusing on potential risks and the cost of not changing. 8. What else could be true? 💡Expands thinking to consider alternative possibilities. 9. What’s your opinion on how to resolve this/achieve your goal? 💡Encourages ownership, a growth mindset and creativity in problem-solving. 10. Can I share some ideas that would help you achieve the results you want and make you more successful? 💡NOW is when you share your insights to fill in any gaps and create a better solution and outcome. 11. What are you willing to commit to in activity and/or result? By when? 💡Establishes accountability, measurable activity and deadlines. 12. When should we reconnect to ensure you've achieved the result you want? 💡Sets follow-up for accountability and demonstrates support. 13. How are you feeling about our conversation? What new possibility did we open here? 💡Gauges emotional response, ensures alignment around your coaching style, and the value received. #coaching #salesmanagement #salesenablement #salescoaching  

The conversations you’re avoiding are the ones that could change everything. When was the last time you avoided a hard conversation? Maybe it was with your boss, your partner, or a friend. You convinced yourself it wasn’t the right time. Or hoped the issue would solve itself. But deep down, you knew: Avoiding it didn’t help. It made things worse. 70% of employees avoid difficult conversations at work (HBS Online). This leads to lower trust, weaker teams, and missed opportunities. The truth? Trust isn’t built in comfort zones. It’s built in hard conversations. Here are 9 steps to master them: 1/ Breathe first, and prepare. Take a moment to center yourself. Try saying: "I’m nervous about this, but I believe it’s necessary.” 2/ Start with gratitude Show respect and appreciation. Try saying: “Thank you for being open to this. I believe this conversation is important.” 3/ Use “I” statements. Vulnerability creates connection. Try saying: “I feel frustrated because…” or “I’m concerned about…” 4/ Stick to facts, don’t assume. Be objective. Try saying: “I noticed this project was delayed” instead of “You’re unreliable.” 5/ Ask open-ended questions. Show you’re listening. Try saying: “How do you see the situation?” or “What’s your perspective on this?” 6/ Embrace silence. Let the other person process. Try saying: Nothing... 7/ Collaborate on solutions. Shift the focus to problem-solving. Try saying: “How can we work together to handle this differently moving forward?” 8/ Avoid phrases that escalate conflict. Stick to the specifics. Try NOT saying: “You always…” or “You never…” 9/ End with gratitude. Try saying: “Thank you for being open to this. I value how we’re working through challenges together.” The conversations we fear most don’t just build trust. They’re how trust is built. Show up, even when it’s messy. Because that’s where growth begins. Which step resonated with you the most? ♻️ Repost to inspire more honest conversations.

Stop avoiding hard conversations.   Get better at leading them. I once shut down mid-meeting.   A simple question felt like an attack. That silence cost us trust for days. That moment taught me something simple: Tension avoided becomes tension multiplied. We’ve all felt it: Tight chest   Quick reactions   A small issue turning into friction But the shift from reacting to leading changes everything ✨ 12 ways grounded leaders handle tough talks: 1) Be Okay Not Winning   ↳ Focus on progress, not ego   ↳ Ego blocks solutions 2) Ask Before You Assume   ↳ “What led you to that view?”   ↳ Curiosity beats judgment 3) Reflect Afterward   ↳ “What did I learn here?”   ↳ Growth compounds over time 4) Slow the Moment   ↳ “Let me take a second to think”   ↳ Pause creates clarity 5) Start with Intent   ↳ “My goal is to solve this together”   ↳ Shared intent lowers defenses 6) Regulate First   ↳ Notice your breath before words   ↳ Calm biology, then respond 7) Separate Person from Problem   ↳ “This is about the process, not you”   ↳ Respect keeps connection intact 8) Lower Your Voice   ↳ Speak slower, softer   ↳ Tone shapes outcomes 9) Clarify the Outcome   ↳ “What would success look like here?”   ↳ Direction reduces noise 10) Share Impact, Not Blame   ↳ “Here’s how this affected me”   ↳ Ownership builds trust 11) Stay Present   ↳ Focus on now, not past patterns   ↳ Presence prevents escalation 12) Use Fewer Words   ↳ Simplicity avoids confusion   ↳ Clarity earns respect Hard conversations aren’t the problem.  Avoiding them is. Handled well, they become trust accelerators ✨ Which one will you try next? ♻️ Please repost to promote conscious leadership. 🙂 Follow Marco Franzoni for more.