Choosing The Right Career Mentor

The best mentors I've ever had gave me frameworks I could install that week. They didn't just inspire me, they equipped me. I now evaluate every potential mentor through my 3-Criteria Filter: 1. They're In The Trenches Your mentor needs to be building right now, not telling stories about what worked in 2018. The game changes every year. If they're not actively playing, their playbook is outdated. You need someone who's 10 steps ahead of you, still in the game. 2. They've Replicated Results One person succeeding is luck. A hundred people succeeding is a system. Look for mentors who've helped tons of other people get results, not just crushed it themselves once and now sell a course about it. If their students aren't winning, their system doesn't work. 3. They Built It Themselves First You want someone who has actual battle scars from building the thing they're teaching. They should have real proof they walked the exact path you're trying to walk. Consultants who never operated are basically guessing. You need operators who consult. Red flags to take into account: • They don't show their actual work or numbers • Everything they say is super vague with no specific frameworks • They teach stuff they haven't personally done in years • Zero proof their students actually succeeded • They hype you up but give you nothing to implement Monday morning Green flags I look for: • You get systems you can install this week • Clear frameworks that remove all the guesswork • Specific feedback on your actual business (not generic advice) • Access to what they're doing right now (not what worked in 2019) • A community of people winning together The best investment I ever made was finding mentors who inspired me to create my own systems. They gave me: • My delegation frameworks • Offer stack models • Team org charts They showed me how to think in systems. When you have competence, the confidence comes naturally. People usually procrastinate not because they're afraid, but because they don't know what to do. A great mentor removes that paralysis. __ Enjoy this? ♻️ Repost it to your network and follow Matt Gray for more. Want to learn how to build a sustainable founder-led brand that grows even when you’re not around? Join my free live Workshop on December 16th (6 days away) to steal my homework: https://lnkd.in/eT-KmmkY

I was talking with a colleague recently about what happens inside organizations when expectations get out of sync with performance. It sparked something I’ve seen in every stage of my career, from corporate teams to agency environments to the clients I now work with.   Here’s the dynamic: a young team member, 6 months into a role, asks for a new title. They want more responsibility, more purpose, more alignment with their degree. They feel like they’re capable of more, but their current performance isn’t backing that up.   This story isn’t rare. And it’s not just about generational gaps, entitlement, or “work ethic.” That would be too easy of a narrative. What I see is a breakdown between ambition and accountability, and it’s showing up on both sides. Yes, young professionals need to understand that you don’t get to skip steps. If you’re asking for growth, you have to demonstrate readiness. Titles don’t make you ready. Consistency does. Trust does. Follow through does. There is no “use my degree” shortcut to leadership. You earn the big asks by nailing the small ones.   But it’s also on leadership. If you have someone on your team who feels lost, misaligned, or overly focused on status, that didn’t happen in a vacuum. That’s a gap in mentorship. That’s a failure to give feedback early and often. People need a clear roadmap and expectations for their role and those expectations have to be reiterated long before performance issues arise. That is how leaders prevent misalignment before it becomes a problem.   This photo takes me back to 2015, when I was a 28-year-old MBA intern at Microsoft. That summer, I had structure, mentorship, and clarity. I knew exactly what success looked like in my role, and I had leaders who reinforced it consistently. Because of that, I didn’t just complete an internship, I earned a full-time role as a Partner Marketing Manager in 2016. From there, I went on to lead cross-organizational branding initiatives, manage global storytelling programs, and host the Microsoft Partner Network podcast interviewing C-Level executives and industry leaders.   That experience shaped me. It taught me how mentorship and clear expectations accelerate careers. And it’s why I approach leadership today with the same philosophy: success doesn’t happen by accident. It happens when employees know what’s expected of them, and leaders are present enough to guide them through the gaps. So here’s what I know for sure: 💜 People need context for the journey. 💜 Purpose and promotion are not the same thing. 💜 Leaders must provide mentorship and clarity early.   There’s no shortcut to impact. And there’s no title that will fix what mentorship hasn’t taught. Leaders, don’t wait until a breakdown happens to start the conversation. Mentorship is the work, and it matters more than ever.   #Leadership #Mentorship #CareerAdvice

As someone who has benefited from mentorship early in my career, I can’t emphasize enough the power of having a mentor. Mentorship is one of the most effective ways to accelerate growth, yet it’s often misunderstood. A mentor isn’t someone who simply tells you what to do. Instead, they help you reflect on your actions and guide you toward finding your own path to the right answers. They highlight your strengths, helping you build confidence, and show you what you need to develop to progress, beyond just aiming for the next job title. Importantly, a mentor shouldn’t be your manager. A mentor could be a colleague, a trusted friend, or even someone outside your immediate circle. Their role is to hold up a mirror, helping you see where you need to grow, rather than simply cheering you on. My advice? Seek out a mentor who challenges you, and embrace the journey they help you uncover. It’s one of the best decisions you can make for your career and is an experience I’ve valued deeply both as mentor and mentee. #Leadership #Mentorship #ProfessionalDevelopment #Career

𝗠𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗮 𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗮 𝘁𝘂𝗴𝗯𝗼𝗮𝘁. A tugboat pushes and pulls you exactly where it thinks you should go. A lighthouse shines steady light so you can navigate your own path. Last week, I shared tips on what makes mentoring work at the NCS Group Youth Mentoring kick off event. I have benefited from good mentors who shaped my career trajectory and I have also helped shape my mentees at MentorsHub. I shared this with the new cohort mentors and mentees last wee at NCS. Great mentoring isn't about having all the answers or controlling the journey. t's about lighting the way so someone can steer their own ship. And it needs both people to make it work. Here's what good mentoring looks like and why the lighthouse metaphor was so apt. 𝗟𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲𝘀 𝗼𝗯𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗲. They don't chase after every boat. Mentors, this means listening to understand where your mentee is actually going, not where you think they should go. Check your biases. Mentees need to be open to a different perspective. 𝗟𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲𝘀 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘂𝗽 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗹𝘆. Every night, that light comes on. Mentors, be reliable. Mentees need to take ownership of their career journey. Lighthouses don't work if the ship never moves. 𝗟𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲𝘀 𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝗳𝗲𝘁𝘆. Ships head toward them knowing they won't run aground. Mentors, keep it confidential so that your mentees know it is safe to share their failures and challenges with you. Mentees, be honest about what's really happening. Don't pretend the waters are calm when you're struggling. 𝗟𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝗶𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗺𝗼𝘃𝗲. Mentoring is two-way. You both grow. Mentors, stay curious. You don't have all the answers. Mentees, own your journey. Your mentor guides, but you decide. The best mentoring relationships start with a real conversation. That's how it begins - a lighthouse meeting a ship in the harbor.

What's the best way to evaluate the effectiveness of leader development initiatives like coaching, mentoring and training? If we take a common framework like the Kirkpatrick Model, it clearly guides us to measure: 👉 Reaction: Did participants find the experience valuable or engaging? 👉 Learning: Did they acquire new knowledge, skills, or insights? 👉 Behavior: Did their actions or habits change as a result? 👉 Results: Did these changes lead to measurable organizational outcomes? The visual below provides us with a few more evaluation ideas and methods, which are helpful! I particularly like the focus on measuring success with objectives set at the start of the coaching programme (because it guides us to make sure the objectives are clear and realistic). The one I struggle with is "Impact on business performance In my experience, evaluating the direct link between leader development and business results (e.g., profits, savings, or productivity) is difficult and often misaligned with the true purpose of these initiatives. Leader development fosters long-term growth, enhances team dynamics, and shapes organizational culture—outcomes that don’t always translate into immediate business metrics. It’s also essential to manage expectations. If the primary goal of leader development is to see immediate improvements in business performance, it’s worth asking if those expectations are realistic. Initiatives like coaching and mentoring often result in intangible but powerful outcomes, such as: ✔️ Increased self-awareness ✔️ Improved team communication ✔️ Strengthened confidence and competency While these outcomes may not directly show up in quarterly metrics, they lay the foundation for sustained organizational success. This is why setting clear, measurable objectives at the start is so important. If the intended outcomes include changes like better communication or a shift in culture, these should be the focus of evaluation—not solely traditional business performance indicators. Leadership development IS NOT a quick fix for the bottom line. It IS an investment in the people and culture that drive long-term success. What methods or frameworks have you found helpful for evaluating #leadershipdevelopment? Leave your comments below 🙏 Image Source;: Jarvis J (2004) Research Gate

𝘔𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘪-𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘷𝘴 𝘈𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘺? Over the last 2-days, I've had 2 separate mentoring sessions with 2 emerging speakers. This is something I love doing, and I noticed an interesting pattern emerging: 𝗠𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗲 𝟭: • Her speeches have often been energetic, humorous and light-hearted. Because of this, people in the community seem to pigeonhole her as entertaining speaker. • However, as I help her dig into her story, I saw a resilient, strong-minded lady of tremendous gumption. • She told me, "Actually Coen, this is who I really am. I want to be authentic and I want my message to embody my spirit!" 𝗠𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗲 𝟮: • Having known her for 3 years, I've always seen her as a no-nonsense senior corporate leader who wants to transition into speaking. • Her previous speeches contained serious messages about change. • However, in a recent mentoring session, she had an epiphany that took her back to her childhood memories, and unveiled a delightful, more playful angle to her. In both situations, the mentees showered deeper layers to them. But that's humanity isn't it? We are not one-dimensional human beings but multi-faceted individuals, wearing different hats, have varied interests, and bringing our own unique "wisdom stack" to how we show up. However, it is human nature to categorise people in order for us to make sense of streams of multiple, we employ "mental shortcuts" (psychologists call them heuristics). We tend to label people, and pigeonhole them into a certain way. Our confirmation bias then picks up only evidence to reinforce our narratives about them. So here's how things panned out in the mentoring: 𝗠𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗲 𝟮: She's always LED FROM deeper conviction, but Leading WITH childlike innocence makes her more approachable and relatable. As she started crafting light-hearted stories with deeper messages embedded, her audiences responded even better to her. She found her magic! 𝗠𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗲 𝟭: She runs the risk of allowing people's opinions about her as an entertaining speaker to define her. I call this the "Lead 𝘞𝘪𝘵𝘩" - the public self, or brand that you portray to the people you speak to, or lead. However, as she passionately shared with me, there are multiple layers within that drives her passion for speaking. I call this the "Lead 𝘍𝘳𝘰𝘮" - the deepest space within that drives your leadership. In order for her to reverse people's views that she's "just a funny speaker", she needs to change the stories she shares - from just funny ones to ones containing deeper messages that she wanted to convey - delivered in her usual exuberant and humorous ways! Here's the hard truth: 𝗣𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝘁𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 - 𝗜𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗠𝗶𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗲 - 𝗔𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗬𝗼𝘂. If you don't tell your own stories, others will tell them for you anyway, and you may not like it. The good news is that, with awareness and craft, you can tell better ones yourself! #MagneticStorytelling

Don’t just ask someone to “be your mentor” — be intentional about how you work with them. Mentorship has shaped my career in big ways. One of my earliest mentors was an interim pro-vice-chancellor when I worked at a university. That relationship led to the opportunity to work in India — something I never could have planned, but which completely shifted my trajectory. I still work with mentors today, so when people approach me for mentorship, I try to help where I can. Enter Iqra Ali. She recently reached out with the perfect approach — clear, thoughtful, and showing she’s driven, passionate, approachable, and ready to put the work in. And that’s the difference. Mentorship works when the mentee drives the relationship. From both sides, here’s what I’ve seen matters most: ✅ Be clear on what you need support with ✅ Do your research before you reach out ✅ Come prepared and on time ✅ Keep your mentor updated on progress ✅ Follow up promptly — respect their time Beyond the basics, mentorship can also be strategic: ✅ Learn from people indirectly (blogs, podcasts, videos, talks) ✅ Build a network of mentors, not just one ✅ Set yourself weekly challenges to apply advice ✅ Invest in yourself — through mentors, courses, and training I truly believe mentorship can be a game-changing investment. But it does require time, and sometimes money. If you’re clear on what you want, open to feedback, and willing to put the work in, the return on this investment will continue to pay off again and again throughout your career. #mentorship

Mentoring is one of the most powerful relationships we can build. Over the years, I’ve had the privilege of mentoring some truly remarkable individuals—both formally and informally—and it’s been one of the most rewarding parts of my career journey. It’s not just about offering guidance or helping someone overcome challenges. It’s about nurturing leadership, elevating others and fostering a culture where everyone feels like they belong, where every voice is heard and where everyone is empowered to succeed. Earlier this week, we celebrated MentorHer Day, marking not just the conclusion of many mentorship journeys, but the start of something far greater. Since the programme’s launch in 2018, we’ve mentored over 1,000 women, helping them step into leadership roles, broaden their skills and grow in confidence. And the impact doesn’t end there—together, we’re creating a ripple effect of empowerment that will resonate far into the future. This isn’t just a programme—it’s a promise to help women dream bigger, aim higher and achieve more than they ever thought possible. Listening to the personal stories shared on MentorHer Day, I was deeply moved. These are my three key takeaways – and not just about what mentorship gives, but what it asks of us:         • Mentorship can build lifelong relationships When the formal mentorship relationship ends, the bonds and connections formed during that time don’t have to. Cultivating authentic, personal connections—a safe space where mentees can be open about their dreams and aspirations—can build relationships which grow into enduring bonds and friendships that transcend the workplace. • Mentorship is a two-way street The real beauty of mentorship lies in its reciprocity. Every time I mentor someone, I gain fresh perspectives—not just about them, but about myself and my own leadership style. Mentorship holds up a mirror, allowing us to see where we, too, can grow and improve. No two mentorships are ever the same and that’s what makes mentorship so much fun! Some of my best mentorship moments have happened outside the traditional office setting – treadmill meetings or a cozy coffee shop where the usual hierarchy fades away and both mentor and mentee can contribute equally to the journey.  • Mentorship is about paying it forward The true power of mentorship lies in its ripple effect. When mentees become mentors themselves, they create a legacy of empowerment—passing on the confidence, tools and sense of possibility that encourages the next generation to achieve even more than they once believed possible. That’s the true power of paying it forward.    To all mentors and mentees, you are the heartbeat of initiatives such as these. You’re not just creating opportunities—you’re helping shape futures. Thank you for being part of something so impactful. As I said on stage: Let’s keep making waves.

Embrace the power of “story-mentoring”! Every mentor needs to utilize the power of storytelling. Often, we overlook the wealth of experiences we have accumulated, failing to recognize how much we can impart to our mentees. Recently, I had two sessions with my mentees that reminded me of this crucial aspect. During our discussions, we focused on how they can better influence others. One mentee, who has made the transition from a more assertive sector into social impact, is navigating her first corporate job at Micron Technology. While she's incredibly passionate and covers a lot of ground, I noticed she often approaches interactions forcefully, which can lead to information overload for those around her. This led to a significant “aha” moment for her, as she realized that her fast-paced and firm style stemmed from her background in a very take-charge industry. To help adapt her communication skills to her current environment, we discussed how pausing, listening, and paraphrasing can yield much better engagement and influence. Storytelling emerged as a critical component in this mentoring relationship, helping her connect with others on a deeper level. At the beginning of the year, I was invited to speak to a group of women as part of Micron's initiative to advance women's progress. Reflecting on my own journey, I shared insights about how to pause to propel - essentially a mindset shift. I likened it to playing checkers versus chess, emphasizing the importance of preparation in leadership. Shifting the focus from merely doing things right to understanding the right impact also plays a vital role in mentoring. We anchored our discussion around creating those crucial “aha” moments for mentees by blending mentoring with storytelling; a concept I like to call “story-mentoring.” When I think about mentorship, I envision mentors and mentees leveraging storytelling to share experiences, allowing personal stories to illuminate lessons. Mentoring should never feel like a one-sided lecture; it’s about showing, not just telling. Embracing the art of storytelling in your mentoring relationships is not just about imparting knowledge; it’s about creating connections and fostering understanding through shared experiences. Let’s turn our stories into powerful mentorship tools!    #Mentor #Mentee #Storytelling #Experiences #Understanding 

Can we talk? Three words that gave me my biggest professional breakthrough Recently, I had the privilege of speaking with a diverse group of women leaders about their career journeys. Their stories resonated deeply with my own experience, reminding me how organizations thrive when active mentoring and coaching supports leaders in their in shaping careers and enabling leaders to support others in their leadership journeys. I spoke quite openly about imposter syndrome at a pivotal juncture in my career, as many professionals do. Here is my personal story about finding a mentor, and how this transformed my career. Early in my career, after a recent job shift, I experienced a series of failures. I began to doubt everything. Then, an unexpected opportunity presented itself: a job in another business vertical that was run by a person known to be a great mentor, someone a lot of people would speak to for advice. I sent the straightforward message, "Can we talk?" with nothing to lose and everything to gain. True to every word I had heard about this person, I received a response pretty quicikly and I set up a simple coffee conversation one sunny afternoon in a conference room where I came straight to the point - why is this happening? Am I not good enough? Everything changed after that talk. I was struggling with imposter syndrome while attempting to negotiate a totally different organisational culture, and my mentor saw past my technical proficiency to identify the true issue. What began as a call for assistance turned into a life-changing experience. With constant direction, he assisted me reframe these feelings of inadequacy into strengths. The same role that once felt overwhelming became the foundation for my long-term success. This is the reason why, Through my own career and now mentoring professionals through their career journeys, I strongly advocate for the importance of building a personal board of directors (5-10 individuals) who serve three critical roles: ↳Coaches: Providing tactical guidance ↳Mentors: Sharing wisdom and experience ↳Sponsors: Opening doors and advocating for you Consider the following questions as you read my story: ↳Who is in your support network? ↳How do you keep these relationships going? ↳What value do you bring to them? ↳How will you pay it forward? Finding a mentor may seem difficult, but it can be the most rewarding investment you make to have a multiplier effect in your career. Here are some tips to find mentors and make them matter: ↳Define what you need in a mentor ↳Create a list of potential mentors ↳Reach out and make a specific request ↳Establish goals and follow through Your story is important. Have you ever had a mentoring experience that altered the course of your career? Your story may be just what someone else needs to hear, so please share it below.