Building Professional Relationships

Working with people you find difficult is no joke. It can impact your well-being, your performance, and definitely your ability to enjoy your job. For Harvard Business Review, I shared 7 strategies to help you work more effectively with challenging coworkers, whether you're dealing with an insecure boss, a passive-aggressive peer, or someone whose behavior simply gets under your skin (we all know people like that!). Here’s a quick overview: 1️⃣ Remember your perspective is just one of many. We all see situations through our own lens. Try asking yourself: Could I be wrong? 2️⃣ Be aware of your biases. From confirmation bias to affinity bias, our brains take shortcuts that often distort how we perceive others, especially those who are different from us. 3️⃣ Don’t make it “me against them.” Reframe the conflict as a shared problem to solve, not a personal battle to win. 4️⃣ Know your goal. What are you actually trying to achieve - peace, productivity, recognition? Let that intention guide how you show up. 5️⃣ Be careful with venting and gossip. Some venting can be helpful, if done the right way. But negatively intended gossip can harden your view, damage your credibility, and reinforce negativity. 6️⃣ Experiment to find what works. Try small behavior shifts and observe the impact. If one approach doesn’t work, try another. Think of it as an experiment, not a fix. 7️⃣ Stay curious. Certainty keeps us stuck. Curiosity opens the door to empathy, creativity, and sometimes even resolution. These aren’t quick fixes - nothing worthwhile is - but they can help you feel more grounded and less reactive, even when someone else’s behavior doesn’t change. Link to the full article is in the comments 👇 Image alt text: How to Navigate Conflict with a Coworker

Meaningful relationships and a good reputation don’t come via shortcuts. It takes a steady, long path in the same direction over many years. You won’t earn it in one coffee or one email. You earn it through consistent work, doing what you say you’re going to do, honesty and kindness. Be wary of “partnerships” that are just transactions in a nicer outfit. If nobody’s asking what the talent actually wants, or what success looks like for them three years out, that’s the tell. It’s all deliverables and deck pages and a tight little bow on top. The deals that have actually mattered in my career didn’t start with a deck. They started with a real conversation. Sometimes about the work, sometimes about kids, sometimes about an idea or creative someone was obsessed with that week. It’s why I’ve loved working with athletes across the NBA, WNBA, NFL, MLB, soccer stars, Olympians and beyond. You get to hear their dreams as creative expression. Thats the real stuff!! The trust you build in those moments is what makes the hard moments survivable later. When something goes sideways, and it always does, people stick around for the relationship more than the contract. Real relationships get built when you lose a deal because you told someone the truth instead of selling them what they wanted to hear.

How do you build long-term relationships with customers? It’s not about clever sales tactics. It’s about mindset. One of the biggest shifts I’ve learned is this: neediness is the enemy of trust. When a potential customer senses that your advice is driven by your own urgency or desire to close a deal, it sets off alarm bells—because it means your motives might not be aligned with their best interest. The alternative? Focus on being a trusted presence over time. ✔️ Show up consistently ✔️ Listen carefully ✔️ Offer value without strings attached When you’re guided by genuine curiosity and service, customers come to see you as a long-term partner—not a one-time vendor. That’s the foundation of loyalty and that’s how relationships endure.

I was recently asked in an interview what one underrated skill has been surprisingly valuable in your career. It is such a great question and one that caused me to reflect on my answer. I settled on this... Cultivate meaningful connections If I could turn back time, I'd tell my younger self to invest wholeheartedly in building and nurturing a strong professional network. I've always been a people person, but early in my career, I underestimated the true power of genuine connections. When I moved to Singapore, I was essentially starting from scratch. The familiar faces and established relationships I relied on were thousands of miles away. It was a humbling experience but also a transformative one. I learned that networking isn't just about exchanging business cards or attending industry events; it's about forging authentic relationships with people who share your passion and can offer valuable insights, support, and even unexpected opportunities. It's about giving back, paying it forward, and fostering a community of growth. Today, my network is one of my most valuable assets. It's a source of inspiration, knowledge, and collaboration. It's a safety net when times get tough and a springboard for new endeavors. So, my advice to my younger self would be: Start early and don't stop: Building a network takes time and consistent effort. Be sure to start making connections before a crisis or a move to a new country. Cultivate relationships throughout your career, both within and outside your industry. Focus on quality over quantity: It's not about how many people you know, but the depth and strength of those connections. Seek out individuals who inspire you, challenge you, and share your values. Give more than you take: Be generous with your time, knowledge, and support. Offer to help others, make introductions, and share your expertise. The more you give, the more you'll receive in return. Embrace diversity: Seek out connections with people from different backgrounds, cultures, and industries. Diverse perspectives can spark innovation and open doors to new opportunities. Stay Connected: Networking is an ongoing process. Make time to nurture your relationships, even when not actively seeking new opportunities. The picture is of two of those amazing connections I made when I moved to Singapore; Anna Norriss - Marketing Strategist and Anna Seefeldt - Brand Strategist at Pink Pineapple. My professional (and personal) experience here wouldn't be the same without you.

To all the #consultants out there - this ones for you: Managing Tough Clients Without Losing Your Cool (or Your Confidence) Clients come in all types: A client who keeps changing requirements. Another who demands overnight miracles. And one who simply doesn’t empathize with your team’s constraints. Sound familiar? Dealing with tough clients isn’t just about “managing relationships.” It’s about managing your response — balancing service, boundaries, and self-respect. 1️⃣ Stay Calm — Emotion Is Contagious When clients are unreasonable or aggressive, our instinct is to defend or push back. But escalation rarely builds trust. Calm is your superpower. Research in emotional intelligence (Daniel Goleman, HBR) shows that emotional contagion is real — your calm regulates the other person’s tone. The moment you match their anxiety or frustration, you lose influence. Breathe. Pause. Respond — don’t react. The calmer voice often ends up steering the conversation. 2️⃣ Anchor on the “Why” When clients shift goals or change directions, resist the urge to complain. Instead, get curious. Ask: “Help me understand what’s driving this change.” Often, their behavior reflects external pressure — not malice. By uncovering the “why,” you can reframe the conversation from friction to problem-solving. 3️⃣ Use Clarity as Your Shield - this is a big one The more chaotic the client, the more disciplined your communication must be. Document discussions and decisions. Confirm timelines in writing. Summarize calls with clear next steps. Clarity protects relationships. It also prevents “you never told us” moments later. 4️⃣ Set Boundaries Without Being Defensive Boundaries aren’t barriers; they’re professional guardrails. It’s perfectly fair to say: “We can absolutely meet that timeline, but it will mean reducing the scope of X or adding Y resources.” Boundaries said with respect build credibility, not conflict. Setting the right expectation first time and every time is important. 5️⃣ Manage Up and Manage Within If client behavior is consistently draining the team, escalate with context, not emotion. “We’ve noticed X pattern that’s affecting delivery. Can we align on how to reset expectations?” Internally, protect your team’s morale — recognize their resilience, and debrief after tough interactions. People need to feel seen when dealing with high-pressure clients. 6️⃣ Remember — Tough Clients Build Tough Leaders Some of your best negotiation, empathy, and communication skills will be forged in difficult client situations. They teach patience, precision, and grace under pressure — qualities every future leader needs. You can’t control every client’s behavior. But you can control how you show up — calm, clear, respectful, and firm. #Leadership #ClientManagement #Communication #EmotionalIntelligence #Consulting #ProfessionalExcellence

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐕𝐚𝐥𝐮𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐋𝐨𝐧𝐠-𝐓𝐞𝐫𝐦 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 Recruitment is known as a fast paced industry, but there’s one part of our role as recruiters that can’t be rushed; building relationships. In my experience, creating long-term relationships with our clients, candidates, and colleagues is invaluable. Not only does this approach lead to better hiring decisions, but it also shapes careers, fuels business growth, and creates networks of trust that last for years. Here’s why long-term relationships should be the foundation of any great recruitment strategy: 𝟏. 𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐄𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞  The best partnerships – whether with clients or candidates – aren’t built in a single conversation. They develop over time, through consistency, honesty, and delivering results. When businesses work with recruiters they trust, they gain a true partner, not just a service provider. The same applies to candidates. Many of the strongest hires come from professionals we’ve known for years and placed more than once. 𝟐. 𝐀 𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐓𝐨𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐁𝐞 𝐚 𝐂𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐓𝐨𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐰 One of the most rewarding aspects of long-term relationship-building is seeing how careers evolve. Many candidates we’ve placed early in their careers have gone on to become hiring managers or senior leaders, and when they need to build their own teams, they often return to the recruiters they trust. A single placement can turn into a lifelong professional partnership. 𝟑. 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐂𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐇𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐃𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬  Understanding a company’s culture, leadership style, and long-term growth strategy takes time. The deeper that understanding, the better the hires. Clients who treat recruiters as strategic partners rather than short-term vendors see the biggest return on investment – not just in speed to hire, but in quality and retention. 𝟒. 𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐄𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬  In today’s job market, candidates expect a personal, transparent process – one where they feel valued beyond a single application. A recruiter who stays in touch, offers advice, and provides genuine career guidance builds relationships that last. And when candidates have a great experience, they refer others, expanding the recruiter’s network even further. 𝟓. 𝐋𝐨𝐧𝐠-𝐓𝐞𝐫𝐦 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐑𝐞𝐩𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧  The recruitment industry is built on trust and reputation. The most successful recruiters are the ones known for honest, long-standing relationships that create value for both businesses and professionals over time. At the end of the day, recruitment is about people, not transactions. The strongest partnerships aren’t measured in placements but rather in careers built, businesses grown, and trust earned.

“Some people argue to be heard. Others withdraw because they fear they never will be.” For many high-performing professionals, conflict does not feel like a simple disagreement. It quietly feels like: “I’m not understood.” “I’m losing connection.” “This relationship may not feel safe anymore.” So the nervous system reacts. Not always with shouting. Sometimes with: → silence → defensiveness → emotional withdrawal → overexplaining → avoiding difficult conversations completely Because conflict can trigger something deeper: the fear of emotional disconnection. Avoiding conflict felt safer than risking emotional discomfort. But over time, something important happened. The relationship started looking peaceful on the outside… while emotional distance quietly grew underneath. When we continuously avoid difficult conversations… are we making the relationship stronger? Or are we slowly making it fragile? Conditional? Emotionally disconnected? Silence can sometimes protect the moment from outside but damage the connection over time. But what about things underneath? Fear. Fear of not being valued. Fear of rejection. Fear of emotional abandonment. Fear that being misunderstood meant being emotionally alone. And this is more common than people realize. Many successful professionals know how to manage pressure, deadlines, targets, and teams… but struggle when emotions enter the conversation. Because most of us were taught how to perform… not how to stay emotionally connected during discomfort. Learning that: disagreement does not always mean rejection. Different perspectives do not mean loss of respect. And discomfort does not automatically mean danger. That changes the quality of the conversations completely. Instead of: “Who is right?” The conversation becomes: “What are we both trying to protect here?” And slowly… conflict stops becoming a threat to the relationship. It becomes a space for honesty, openness, understanding, and growth. This is emotional fitness too. The ability to stay connected to yourself and others — even during uncomfortable conversations. Because healthy relationships are not built by avoiding conflict. They are built by creating emotional safety inside conflict. If you are someone who performs strongly on the outside but feels emotionally exhausted inside relationships, this work may support you deeply. I work with professionals, leaders, and multi-role achievers on emotional fitness, self-awareness, communication, and emotionally resilient relationships. Book a free discovery call. Have you ever noticed yourself avoiding a conversation to avoid the possibility of conflict? #EmotionalFitness #EmotionalIntelligence #SelfAwareness #CommunicationSkills #Leadership #EmotionalResilience #HighPerformers #PersonalGrowth #EmotionalHealth #ConsciousCommunication #RelationshipGrowth #LeadershipDevelopment #AuthenticLeadership #ConflictResolution #HumanConnection #InnerWork #ProfessionalGrowth #EmotionalMastery

Are you building client relationships that last? For many, the focus is on delivering software or hardware. But the real difference comes when you go beyond just delivering an offer — when you create an experience that makes clients feel supported and valued over the long term. Here’s where strong relationships start: 1️⃣ Be There Beyond the Project Completing a project doesn’t mean stepping away. Checking in, following up, and supporting clients even after the main deliverables are done shows that you’re committed to their success, not just to a contract. That follow-through is what clients remember. 2️⃣ Share Ideas Freely When you see an opportunity that can benefit a client, share it without adding fees or expecting anything in return. The goal is to add value because you’re invested in their growth as much as your own. 3️⃣ Be a Connector Use your network to introduce clients to other companies or experts that can support their goals. Helping clients build valuable connections shows them you’re a trusted advisor, not just a vendor. Strong client relationships aren’t built on transactions. They’re built on value, trust, and a shared commitment to growth. Companies who take the time to build this way not only deepen their partnerships—they make themselves indispensable. How are you doing on relationship building?

Don’t just hand out the staff handbook—hand out clarity, connection, and culture. Too many schools waste the most powerful days of the year: orientation. If you’re a school leader, those first few days with your staff set the tone for everything that follows. This is what I’ve learned after 20+ years as a school head and now leading the Hive Schools International network: How to Start the Year Strong: 1. Set Expectations Clearly Avoid confusion. Confirm schedules, workloads, calendar dates, report card deadlines, working times, committee roles, and marketing duties (yes, have them sign up for the different events at the start of the year). Clarity builds trust. To be frank, work your ass off to ensure all of the logistics are ready to go for your team. Give them everything they need to plan for the year. 2. Align on a Shared Vision You’ll never hit a target that you aren’t aiming for. Almost as bad is when everyone is aiming at different targets. Ask: • What are we aiming to accomplish this year? • What are our non-negotiables in teaching and relationships? • What is our common enemy—low literacy, student apathy, bullying? 3. Build Belonging—Intentionally Great schools don’t happen by accident. • Everyone wants to feel like they belong - this includes support staff, security guards, cleaners, and even that jerk teacher who annoys you. • Give them time to laugh, connect, and set up. • model vulnerability, connection, and authenticity. • Repost the hugs, the high-fives, the laughter. 4. Build Culture - from Day 1 Orientation and training is crazy busy with so many “must get through things” but in the end, your team will remember how you made them feel during the week. • Meet new staff at the airport and help them settle in. • Feed them well. Start on time. Capture the joy. • Repost the hugs, the high-fives, the laughter. Because in the end, it’s not just about starting school. It’s about starting strong as a team. ⸻ I’d love to hear your ideas and experiences as well: What’s your theme? What’s your vision? What’s your “enemy” this year? What’s a great way to build belonging and culture? #SchoolLeadership #AuthenticLeadership #BackToSchool #EducationLeadership #InternationalSchools HIVE Schools International Canadian Overseas Schools Association The International School of Macao Canadian International School of Phnom Penh (CIS) Lighthouse International School Phuket British Columbia International School of Bangkok 21st Century Learning