New Beginnings, Same Sentiment

Welcome to Life, Abundant.

If you’re here from “The Intersection,” you're in the right place. Same voice, same me, different room. “The Intersection” helped me write out loud, in public, with my whole heart. And lately the framework that I built started to feel constraining and too formulaic. And since I built it, I can change it whenever I want.

So here we are. New name, fewer “requirements,” same heart. Abundant doesn’t always mean more, and neither does a fresh start. I want to write about what I want to write about without constraining myself. (Don’t we all?)

One thing I want to say, clearly and with my whole heart: if this new direction isn’t what you signed up for, I completely understand. I do hope you’ll stick around and keep reading. And if you’d rather spend your reading time somewhere else, I understand that, too. I’m grateful for the time you spent here.

If you’re new here, thanks for joining us. I feel really good about where we’re going.

What Would She Want for Us?

Last week I was organizing. (Listen, I have a junk room. I realize most people have a junk drawer. I always seem to have piles or boxes of things to organize. I can’t explain it. Abundance?) 

Inevitably, there are always loose photos that need a new home. Some of the photos I came across last week were from college. I was stunned.

A younger me. A carefree me. That easy, open-hearted kind of happy you can’t fake and can’t force. The smile that you know is genuine, full, and heartfelt. And I found myself wondering: where did that girl go? What is she doing now? What would she want us to be doing now?

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that this younger version of me didn’t have a map. She wasn’t following a route or checking it against anyone’s directions. She moved with her heart. By instinct. By whatever made her light up that particular day. By an order of Cav fries, a side of ranch, and a Diet Coke (or a beer, depending on the day). IYKYK. (Every school has a legendary order at their favorite haunt, right?)

That girl hadn’t gotten stuck in the idea that there was a “right” next thing to want, a step up from the table she was dancing on, a path everyone could see from anywhere. She simply followed what was true for her and trusted that (with her good instincts) it would carry her somewhere great.

Somewhere along the way (and without her permission), I traded her instincts for a map.

The next title. The next rung of the ladder. The route that felt less like a choice and more like a foregone conclusion. Of course I wanted it. It was the next thing on the list, and I would follow it without question. That’s the deal. That’s what I do. And I was incredibly good at doing it.

Until one day I slowed down enough to ask a different question: is this what I really want or is this what I’ve convinced myself that I’m supposed to want? Those are very different questions. And I’d been moving too fast for too long to tell the difference.

The answer surprised me.

I’d been measuring my whole life by what I produced. I confused “what I do” with “who I am.” That route was crowded with places, results, accomplishments, and not one of them ever asked me who I wanted to be when I arrived.

At first, the idea of abandoning the plan felt like getting lost. Like taking a left turn instead of the right turn.

And then it felt like oxygen. Like taking a deep breath for the first time in a long time.

Turns out I wasn’t lost at all. My instincts were keeping notes the entire time, quietly, patiently, waiting for me to stop ignoring them. None of that came from a map. It came from her. From that girl who knew how to live abundantly.

Often, we can equate abundance with the things we collect by following the plan (or climbing the ladder) precisely. More title, more reach, more responsibility, more proof we stayed on the right track. So we white knuckle the wheel, keep our eyes on the road, count on Siri to give us the right directions, and trust that sooner or later we’ll end up in the right place.

Here’s what I know now: Sometimes abundance means following the map. And sometimes abundance means following my heart. My intuition. That instinct that has been with me far longer than any plan and knows me far better than any plan ever could.

Abundant doesn’t always mean more. Sometimes abundant means fully trusting that I already know the way.

This isn’t a case for throwing out every plan. This is a case for realizing the difference between a plan that is truly yours and one that you’re following without question because someone else handed it to you. One of those leads somewhere abundant. The other simply leads somewhere.

A few reframes toward abundance:

Instead of “What’s next?” try “What’s now?”

Instead of “Am I on the right path?” try “Whose path is this, and did I choose it?”

Instead of “I should want this” try “Do I want this, or do I want to want it?”

I keep coming back to the question the girl in the picture had for me: What would she want us to be doing now? I don’t think she’d want a bigger title for us, or a longer list, or one more rung on the ladder.

I know she’d want us to remember what she knew before anyone handed her a map: that the fullest life isn’t the one you chase. It’s the one you (and your heart) choose.

Something to Consider

This week, find a photograph of a younger you. Ask your younger self what they’d want for you now. Then listen.

#DingDangDelightful Finds

This month I’m loving: the two little Latin words that started this whole thing. Vita Abundantior. My college motto. In college, I lived the life more abundant actively, fully, and without regret. Over time, I tried to force abundance into a formula and treated it as an instruction to do and acquire bigger things. Now I realize abundance is an invitation to live fully in the life I have and to trust myself to find it on my own. Two funny little Latin words that pack a punch. #DingDangDelightful, indeed.

Life, Abundant is for anyone who's realizing that the fullest life isn’t the one we chase. It’s the one we choose.