Five in Fifty-Nine

I turn 59 this week. For many of you, that sounds pretty old. For others, you can relate to moving toward that fourth quarter of life. Regardless of your view of that age, I want to take the opportunity to share Five key lessons that I have learned the hard way over those 59 years that have had a life-changing impact in my life. I share this message hoping that it reaches people that need it. Here are five key lessons:

1)  Identity is not Accomplishment – Growing up in a single-parent home, I was clearly searching for an identity whether I realized it or not.  I turned to athletics and was blessed with so many opportunities.  However, I struggled too long in what I now call the “performance trap”.  I was up and down dependent on how well I performed in a game. 

For me it was results on the field or court.  For others it could be popularity, social media effectiveness, or job advancement.  Regardless, it was key for me and key for all of us to realize that our identity should be wrapped in our beliefs and convictions and be evidenced by our actions not outcomes. 

Unfortunately, many (individuals and organizations) either don’t have a healthy view of identity or don’t take the time to clarify one.  I can now answer the question of “Who Am I?”.  Can you?

2) Start with Purpose - For years I would struggle with the concept of seeking God’s will for my life.  To be honest, I was just trying to figure out what would make me successful and comfortable.  I’m not sure how much it really had to do with “God’s will”.  I think the focus was “my life”. 

I learned that life wasn’t solely dependent on my selecting the right major, choosing the right job offer, or becoming part of the right organization.  The key was much deeper than a choice.  The key was to embrace my identity and seek a purpose beyond serving myself.  Once I clarified several key purposes in my life, I gained a new perspective of my role at home, at work, and in the community.  My purpose(s) traveled with me regardless of job assignment or life stage.  I now can answer the question of “Why am I here?”.  Can you?

3) Embrace Hard Things – There was a period in my life that I had sought to avoid many opportunities if they were uncomfortable or had an uncertain outcome.  I was caught in the performance trap and didn’t want to fail.  Consequently, I limited what I attempted, played it safe, and put a cap on my potential for years.

With an identity no longer based on performance and a clear vision of purpose, I was now free to seek challenges that I would have passed on before.  I could now experience failure and not view myself as a failure.  I could for once reach for my potential in various areas of my life by becoming comfortable being uncomfortable.  I now embrace hard things every day.  I can now ask myself “How will I grow today?”  Can you?

4) Love the Process- When I was caught in the “performance trap”, I was so focused on the outcomes that I missed the joy of playing and competing.  I was committed to hard work in every area of my life, but the problem was that there was no room for joy.

With a newfound identity, purpose, and willingness to embrace hard things with no fear of failure, I could now enjoy the process of physical training, working at my job, and teaching others in whatever realm I was operating.  I can now answer the question “Where’s the joy in life?”.  Can you?

5) Significance Outlasts Success – Whether it was school athletics or early in my business career, I associated success with winning games, meeting budgets, or making money.  Don’t get me wrong, doing a good job and achieving successful results are key to any athletic team or business organization.  However, I have learned there is something even more important.

People matter more than scoreboards, income statements, or checking accounts.  There is no real lasting success if we aren’t positively impacting people along the way.  I have grown to appreciate and value success, but to truly seek significance.  I have changed the focus of that purpose statement from “what” to “who”. 

Five simple lessons learned.  I hope those lessons learned the hard way can help you or help you guide others.  After all, one key purpose in my life is to add value to others daily!  I hope I have done that today!