Look Me In The Eyes
What messages do a speaker’s eyes give to a listener?
As you listen you are discerning, are they comfortable, are they averse to connection, are they searching for ideas, are they honest, are they approachable, are they confident?
From a very young age we have been taught in our North American culture to look at peoples’ eyes, when speaking to them.
At the same time, we’ve been taught that when someone does not look us in the eyes, very likely something is amiss. They might be embarrassed, hiding something, unsure or heaven forbid – outright lying.
Because the single most important connection with your listeners depends on your eye communication it is important to understand the best use of this most influential skill.
Tips:
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Look directly into listener’s eyes
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Hold 3 to 6 seconds
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Avoid darting eyes
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Avoid scanning eyes
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Don’t stare
Avoid:
- Looking at the floor, the ceiling, the walls, the table, or the screen
- Short, glancing, nervous, quick, darting styled eye contact
- Looking away as soon as someone looks at you
- Talking to notes or to your visuals on the screen
- Talking just to the decision maker
What Works:
- Creating a connection or rapport with each person in your audience through extended eye communication (3-6 seconds).
- Hold miniature conversations with each person in the room, coming back to them another time.
- Walk up a few rows of the middle aisle in large groups to connect with people in the back of the room.
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In large groups, divide room into quarters an make a point to talk to people, randomly in each of those sections.
#DropTheMic