How to Accept and Act on Feedback

I stopped treating feedback like criticism and started treating it like free consulting. Because feedback isn’t about your worth. It’s about your blind spots. Most people waste feedback. They get defensive. They explain themselves. They ignore it. And then they wonder why nothing changes. ✅ How to treat feedback like free consulting (the real playbook): 1️⃣ Stop waiting for annual reviews. If you only hear feedback once a year, you’re already behind. Create your own feedback loop monthly, even weekly. 2️⃣ Ask sharper questions. Don’t ask “How am I doing?” Ask “What’s one thing I could do that would change the way you see me as a leader?” 3️⃣ Separate emotion from data. Feedback stings. That’s normal. But behind the sting is data. Extract it, use it, move forward. 4️⃣ Interrogate the source. Not all feedback is equal. Filter advice through one lens: Has this person achieved what I want to achieve? 5️⃣ Demand specifics. “Be more strategic” is useless. Push for examples. What did you say? What should you have said instead? Feedback without examples is noise. 6️⃣ Look for patterns, not one-offs. One person’s opinion is bias. Three people saying the same thing is truth. Patterns reveal where you need to act. 7️⃣ Stop explaining. The moment you start justifying, you close the door to honesty. Take it in, say thank you, move on. 8️⃣ Test it in real time. Don’t just collect notes. Try the new behaviour in your next meeting, pitch, or email. Feedback without testing is just theory. 9️⃣ Keep receipts. Document feedback and your response to it. When it’s time for promotion, you show the growth curve — not just claim it. 🔟 Flip the mirror. Give feedback as much as you take it. The best way to sharpen your own lens is to hold one up for someone else. We call it “feedback.” The unprepared call it “criticism.” The ambitious call it “an edge.” What’s the most valuable piece of feedback you ever received?

Last week, a mentee came to me after her annual review. Her feedback was good — specific enough to sting a little. She walked out with every intention of acting on it. I asked her one question: "What's different on your calendar this week?" She paused. Nothing was different. That's where feedback dies — not in the reading of it, but in the week after, when life resumes and the document closes. Understanding feedback and acting on it are two completely different skills. Most people only practice one. Here's what I told her to do instead: 𝟭/ 𝗧𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘀𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝗮 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗿 "Be more strategic" tells you nothing. This does: take the project you're leading and present how it accelerates a priority your organization cares about — before your next leadership meeting. Specific. Timely. Actionable. For every piece of feedback, ask: what does this look like in practice? 𝟮/ 𝗔𝗱𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗴𝗼𝗮𝗹𝘀 If it doesn't make it into your goals, it's not going to happen. Don't create a separate "development item" that lives outside your work — embed it into the goal itself or into how you'll achieve it. If the feedback is "delegate more and develop your team," don't just note it. Update your existing goal to: 𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘗𝘳𝘰𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘟 𝘣𝘺 𝘘3, 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘮 𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘬𝘦𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘴. Same goal. The feedback is now inside it. 𝟯/ 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁'𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿 Your calendar is your priorities made visible. If the change you need to make doesn't appear there, it won't happen. If the feedback is "scale your impact by partnering across the organization," don't wait for opportunities to show up. Schedule 1:1s this week with leaders in adjacent teams to learn their priorities. What's on your calendar next Monday tells you more about your intentions than anything you wrote in your development plan. 𝟰/ 𝗧𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 Share what you're working on with a peer, a mentor, or your manager. Not for accountability theater — because saying it out loud makes it real. And it invites the micro-feedback you'll need along the way. 𝟱/ 𝗦𝗲𝘁 𝗮 𝟵𝟬-𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸-𝗶𝗻 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 Not "am I trying harder?" — what's actually different in what you do? If the answer is nothing, the feedback is already expiring. The annual review is a gift. Most people open it, admire it, and put it back in the box. If nothing changes in what you do, the outcome is likely to be the same. What’s one change you’ve actually put on your calendar this year? PS: If you know someone in the middle of their review cycle — send this their way. --- Follow me, tap the (🔔) Omar Halabieh for weekly Leadership and Career posts

Criticism can hurt, even when it’s well-intended. But emotionally intelligent leaders respond differently, despite the sting. They don’t ignore it. They don’t shut down. They don’t let it knock them off track. Instead… ✅They pause. ✅They reflect. ✅They respond with compassion and care. Here are 8 ways you can too: 1. Stay Calm and Listen • Take a breath before reacting. • Listen to understand, not to defend. • Reflect back what you heard to show respect. 2. Take Time to Process • Emotions need space to settle. • Write down key points before responding. • Ask for time to reflect before moving forward. 3. Separate Feelings from Facts • Acknowledge the sting without making it personal. • Ask yourself, “What part of this could help me grow?” • View feedback as insight, not identity. 4. Ask Clarifying Questions • Vague feedback limits learning. • Ask for examples to deepen understanding. • Clarify the intent before reacting to the tone. 5. Control the Urge to Justify • Pause the instinct to explain. • Start with empathy, not excuses. • Make space for the other person’s perspective. 6. Respond with Gratitude • Recognize the courage it takes to give feedback. • Say thank you, even when it’s hard to hear. • Let appreciation set the tone for future conversations. 7. Take Action and Follow Up • Identify one shift you can make. • Share how you’re applying what you’ve heard. • Follow up to show integrity and commitment. Criticism will never feel easy. But when met with emotional intelligence, it becomes a bridge to deeper trust. After all, leadership isn’t about being right. It’s about being willing to learn. ♻️ If this resonates, repost for your network. 📌 Follow Amy Gibson for more leadership insights.

Receiving feedback can be challenging, but how we handle it makes all the difference. Embracing a non-defensive mindset allows us to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively. Here’s how: 🔹 𝗣𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗥𝗲𝗳𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁: When receiving feedback, take a moment to breathe and process. This pause helps prevent a knee-jerk reaction and allows you to consider the feedback objectively. 🔹 𝗟𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗔𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗹𝘆: Focus on truly understanding the feedback being given. Listen without interrupting or formulating a response in your mind. Show that you value the other person’s perspective. 🔹 𝗔𝘀𝗸 𝗤𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀: Clarify any points you’re unsure about. Asking questions demonstrates your commitment to understanding and improving, and it can provide valuable insights into how others perceive your work. 🔹 𝗦𝗲𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗘𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗙𝗮𝗰𝘁: It’s natural to feel defensive, but try to distinguish between the emotional impact of the feedback and the factual information it contains. This helps in addressing the constructive aspects of the feedback. 🔹 𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗚𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘂𝗱𝗲: Thank the person for their feedback. It takes courage to give constructive criticism, and showing appreciation fosters a culture of open communication and mutual respect. 🔹 𝗥𝗲𝗳𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗔𝗰𝘁: Take time to reflect on the feedback and identify actionable steps for improvement. Use the feedback as a tool for personal and professional growth. Non-defensive responses to feedback are a sign of maturity and a growth mindset. By responding thoughtfully, we can turn feedback into a powerful catalyst for continuous improvement and stronger relationships.  ---------- Hey, I'm Kevin, I am the host of Working Wisdom and The Toxic Leadership Podcast and provide daily posts and insights to help transform organizational culture and leadership. ➡️ Follow for more ♻️ Repost to share with others (or save for later)

Not all feedback is valid, but all feedback is valuable because it provides us with insight into perceptions. A key question I often receive is how to receive feedback, especially when you disagree with it. The challenge is that when we get defensive, we create an environment where people are reluctant to share feedback with us, and that is what I find holds leaders back more than anything. Everyone in the office knows something about this person that is holding them back in their career, except for the person. Two reasons: 1. No one told them. 2. They have received feedback and haven’t done anything about it. That’s why teach the ARC model for receiving feedback effectively: 🔹 Acknowledge – Listen without reacting, interrupting, or defending. Thank the person for sharing, even if you’re not sure you agree. 🔹 Reflect – Ask questions to understand: “Can you share an example?”, “What impact did you notice?” “What would effective look like instead?” Curiosity over judgment. 🔹 Commit – Decide what you will do with the feedback. You might commit to a specific change, experiment with it, follow up, ask for support or clarification, and take action. Even if the feedback is based on an incorrect assumption, you still need to consistently adjust how you show up so people's perceptions can shift over time. Leaders who consistently acknowledge, reflect, and commit turn even imperfect feedback into fuel for growth and stronger trust. If you want to receive actionable leadership tips right in your inbox every Wednesday, sign up for my newsletter (link in my bio).

Everyone loves giving feedback. But the real test? Learning how to take it without flinching. I used to think feedback was an attack. A reason to get defensive. A sign I wasn't good enough. But the best leaders? They flip that script fast. Here's the playbook I use now: 🔁 Feedback as a Gift → Receive → Reflect → Respond Ask: What's valuable here, even if it stings? ⛽ Feedback as Fuel → Fuel for Growth → Fuel for Clarity → Fuel for Connection Ask: How can this power up my next move? 🪞 Feedback as a Mirror → What do they see? → What can I learn? → How can I level up? Ask: What's this showing me about my impact? 📩 Feedback as an Invitation → Listen openly → Decide intentionally → Act if useful Ask: Which parts of this can I use? 🔄 Feedback as a Practice → Receive → Test → Refine → Repeat Ask: How can I make this part of my growth routine? 🧩 Feedback as a Puzzle Piece → One perspective → Not the whole picture → Still valuable Ask: Where does this fit in my leadership story? 🐶 Feedback as Friendly → Curiosity > Defense → Growth > Fear Ask: What if this is care in disguise? Real leadership isn't dodging feedback. It's learning to use it as rocket fuel without losing yourself. If you're working on this, I am too. Let's level up together. ❤️ Hit like if this helped reframe feedback for you 👇 Drop your game-changing feedback moment below. What feedback hit hard but helped most?

LEADERSHIP LESSON #39: FEEDBACK IS FUEL — NOT A REFLECTION OF YOU Early in my career, I got feedback that knocked the wind out of me. I was told I was moving too fast. That I was too direct. That I needed to slow down and soften. If I’m honest? I didn’t hear “helpful insight.” I heard “you’re doing it wrong.” For a moment, I questioned everything. But here’s what experience taught me — especially as an operator, executive, and board member: Feedback isn’t a verdict on who you are. It’s data about how your leadership is landing. Once I stopped personalizing feedback and started processing it, everything changed. The best leaders treat feedback as fuel. They use it to: • Identify blind spots faster • Accelerate team performance • Spot where systems are breaking before they fail • Make better decisions under pressure Ignore feedback and you get blindsided. React defensively and you slow momentum. The difference between founders who scale and those who plateau isn’t talent. It’s the ability to lead with conviction while staying open to learning. THE FUEL FRAMEWORK (HOW STRONG LEADERS HANDLE FEEDBACK) F — FILTER Is this feedback about behavior, impact, or preference? Not all feedback is equal. Decide what’s signal vs noise. U — UNDERSTAND Ask clarifying questions. What specifically triggered this? In what situation? With what outcome? E — EVALUATE Does this align with your values, role, and goals? If yes, lean in. If not, park it — don’t internalize it. L — LEVERAGE Turn feedback into action. One adjustment. One experiment. One improvement. That’s it. No spiraling. No overcorrecting. Just progress. OPERATOR INSIGHT Feedback is a compass, not a verdict. Great leaders use it to navigate forward — not as an anchor that holds them back. YOUR NEXT CONTROLLABLE STEP Choose one piece of feedback you’ve been resisting. Run it through the FUEL Framework. Take one small action this week based on what you learn. Leadership isn’t about perfection. It’s about progress — and the courage to learn in real time. Follow Jennifer L. DiMotta for real-world leadership lessons from the operator’s seat. #LeadershipLessons #FounderLeadership #ExecutiveCoach #OperatorMindset #ScalingBusinesses #FeedbackCulture #WomenInLeadership #GrowthMindset #NextControllableStep

I’m finally learning how to take feedback. 😮 Years ago, I remember someone giving me feedback—and my ego immediately jumped in to defend itself. I dismissed it, justified myself, and missed the growth opportunity completely. Over the years, I’ve had mentors who patiently coached me to separate myself from the thing I’m doing. --They taught me that I am not my work. --Feedback on my work is not feedback on my worth. Fast forward to one of my recent books—the CPM book. When my editor first read it, she said: “I’m exhausted reading this. It’s so negative.” --That stung-- But instead of reacting, I stopped. I listened. I invited feedback. Together we pivoted—turning the book into something positive, people-centered, and hopeful. !!Now it’s one of my favorite projects ever!! Then it happened again. While working on Elevating Construction General Superintendents, after my Japan trip, I got a little overzealous with Lean concepts. A reviewer pulled the Andon and said, “Hey, this feels hopeless—it’s too much.” This time, I didn’t resist. I stopped, asked for thoughts, and waited. As a team, we decided to pull the deep Lean material into its own book—so this one could stay inspiring and accessible. Here’s what I’ve learned about taking feedback: 1️�� Separate yourself from the thing — you are not the thing. 2️⃣ Stop — give yourself time to emotionally regulate. 3️⃣ Ask the team for wisdom — they’ll respond with kindness. 4️⃣ Wait — the right answer always reveals itself. The proof is in the pudding: Our latest books are better, lighter, and more impactful than ever—because there’s no stubbornness left in the process. 👉 Feedback isn’t an attack. It’s an invitation to greatness. What have you learned about feedback? Love, Jason

There are thousands of trainings on how to give feedback. Almost none on how to receive it. I recently taught a workshop on this for my Leadership Impact Labs group, and the research changed how I think about my own career. For years, I thought being “good at feedback” meant responding well in the moment. Stay calm. Stay open. Process it live. Turns out—that’s not how the brain works. When you receive critical feedback, your amygdala fires in milliseconds. Cortisol peaks around 30 minutes later. And for up to an hour, your prefrontal cortex—the part responsible for rational thinking—is impaired. So that moment in a 1:1 where someone drops hard feedback and you try to respond thoughtfully? You’re not thinking clearly. You literally can’t. I wish I’d known this earlier. I spent years trying to have the perfect in-the-moment response— when the most strategic move was much simpler: Buy time. Not avoidance. Neuroscience. Here’s what that sounds like: In a performance review: “Thank you for this. I want to give it the thought it deserves—can we follow up in a day or two?” In a 1:1: “I appreciate you sharing this. I’d like to reflect before responding—can we revisit tomorrow?” In a group setting: “That’s a fair point. Let me think on it and follow up.” When it’s unexpected: “I wasn’t expecting this, and I want to respond thoughtfully rather than react. Can I take some time?” Each of these does the same thing: It signals maturity, gives your brain time to come back online, and prevents a reaction you might regret. And one more thing: Accepting feedback and agreeing with it are not the same. You can receive it well—and still choose what to do with it. What’s a moment where buying time would have changed how you handled feedback?

You can agree with feedback—and still feel wrecked by it. Last week, I got feedback I completely agreed with. It was clear, direct, and spot on. And yet… I woke up that night feeling like I might throw up. That’s when I reminded myself: Feedback isn’t just processed in the mind—it’s processed in the body. Even when it’s kind and well-delivered, feedback can still activate the nervous system—especially if it touches identity, performance, or belonging. You might: • Replay the conversation on loop • Feel flooded or anxious • Struggle to focus afterward That doesn’t mean you’re resisting growth. It means your body hasn’t yet felt safe enough to receive it. The shift for me happened when I finally understood this. My brain was on board. But my body needed support. Here’s how to move through feedback more effectively: 1. Acknowledge the discomfort “This is a normal response to growth—not a personal failure.” 2. Complete the stress cycle Walk. Stretch. Exhale slowly. Hum. Move your body in a way that signals safety. 3. Separate truth from trigger Ask: • What’s true and useful here? • What emotion am I feeling, and what does it need? • What story might I be telling myself that isn’t fully accurate? The good news? It gets easier. You can build capacity. Over time, you recover faster. You feel less hijacked. You become more emotionally agile. But that only happens when you process, not suppress. Growth doesn’t require collapse. But it does require integration.