Tips for Building Stronger Relationships with Self-Awareness

If unsolicited feedback is all you rely on, your growth is limited to what others feel like telling you. And that’s not a strategy for anyone serious about their career. Because silence doesn’t mean you’re doing well. It usually means no one felt compelled, safe, or incentivized to speak. Growth doesn’t come from what happens to reach you. It comes from what you deliberately go after. Which is why self-awareness can’t be passive. It has to be built - intentionally. Because it’s not just about knowing your strengths and gaps. It’s about understanding how your intent 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 lands — and whether your impact matches what you think you’re delivering. The fastest accelerators I’ve seen in people’s careers do three things consistently: They don’t just seek confirmation. They actively seek disconfirmation. They verify if their internal narrative matches their external impact. Here are a few practical ways to do that: 𝟭/ 𝗩𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘃𝘀. 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗮𝗰𝘁 — 𝗶𝗻 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 After an important meeting or decision, ask: “What was your key takeaway from the discussion?” Not “Was it clear?” — This surfaces blind spots faster than generic feedback. 𝟮/ 𝗗𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗶𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄𝘀 — 𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗺𝗶𝗰𝗿𝗼-𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗽𝘀 A simple: “One thing I could have done differently in that discussion?” will teach you more than most annual processes ever will. 𝟯/ 𝗣𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗿, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱𝘀 Do people lean in… or disengage? Their body language and behavior tells you what their words won’t. 𝟰/ 𝗦𝗲𝗲𝗸 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗱𝗲𝗽𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂 Peers. Cross-functional partners. Former teammates. They’ll tell you what others won’t. 𝟱/ 𝗔𝘀𝗸 𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗰𝗲𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 Instead of: “What am I good at?” Try: “Where do I unintentionally make things harder?” That’s where growth hides. 𝟲/ 𝗧𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗽𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗻𝘀, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 One data point may be noise. Repeated signals are insight. The leaders who grow fastest aren’t the most confident. They’re the most curious about themselves. They don’t just ask: “Am I doing well?” They ask: “Am I seeing myself clearly?” Because self-awareness doesn’t just make you better at your job — It makes you better to work with. And that, more than any single skill, is what accelerates careers. What’s one question you’ve asked that helped you see yourself more clearly? --- Follow me, tap the (🔔) Omar Halabieh for Leadership and Career posts.

Last week, we were hired by a large U.S. management consulting company to coach their directors who were transitioning into partner roles. These super-bright participants had excelled at top business schools and used their sharp analytical skills to solve complex client problems. However, as they moved into management, their analytical prowess became less effective and, in some cases, even obstructive in building strong relationships. Here’s what we discovered: these directors were using listening and interactions primarily as a means to problem-solve. They listened intending to identify, define, and analyse the client’s issues, then quickly offered solutions. While this approach served them well in consulting, it often hindered their ability to build the deep, relational connections necessary for business. Top 3 Takeaways with Action Steps: 1. Listen Beyond Problem-Solving: Please focus on emotions and values. When someone comes to you with a problem, go beyond summarizing details. Pay attention to the emotions, values, and strengths they express. This helps in building a more genuine connection. 2. Shift Your Approach: Recognize relationship needs. Understand that effective management requires more than problem-solving. It involves developing relationships, understanding others’ perspectives, and addressing their emotional and personal needs. 3. Practice Deep Listening: Practice naming the emotions and values you hear during conversations. This simple shift can transform your interactions from transactional to relational, fostering stronger connections with your team and clients. Warmth and connection are crucial as you grow into leadership. Are you ready to move beyond problem-solving and build meaningful relationships? #Leadership #Empathy #ActiveListening #Management #ExecutivePresence #Training

Are your communication habits costing you influence and connection at work? One of my clients was technically brilliant and delivered great results. But she struggled with something that was holding her back from her full potential. Getting affected by other people's moods meant her own mood would dampen. Miscommunication led to misunderstandings and wasted time within her team.  Feeling insecure, made her act distant and unable to make real connections with colleagues. From a CEO's perspective, this looked like someone with limited executive presence who might not be ready for greater responsibility. Someone who creates confusion rather than clarity. Someone who might struggle with clients, stakeholders, or high-pressure situations. She could see exactly how this was limiting her career growth, but felt completely stuck on how to change these deeply ingrained patterns. If this resonates with you, here’s how to start your own transformation: First, create the foundation through self-awareness and self-management: 1. Get honest about what truly motivates you. Ask yourself: "What actually gets me out of bed excited?" "What drains my energy?" “What’s important to me?” Owning your authentic drivers helps you perform better but also show up more genuinely. 2. Know your limiting beliefs and emotional reactions. Pay attention to that voice in your head during conversations. Is it criticizing, second-guessing, or creating stories? Quieten that voice down (simply tell it to shut the f*%k up), then focus your attention on the conversation. Next, build better communication skills on that foundation using curiosity: 3. Get curious about their perspective. Instead of preparing your response while they speak, ask yourself: "What's behind their opinion? What experiences might have shaped this view?" This shift helps you truly listen rather than just wait for your turn to talk. 4. Get curious about what might be at play. Look beyond the surface conversation and wonder: "What pressures might they be under? What's driving this reaction?" This helps you respond to the real issue, not just the words being said. 5. Get curious about the person in front of you. Notice their energy, body language, and tone. Ask yourself: "What do they need right now? How are they really feeling?" This genuine interest in them as a person creates deeper connection and trust.   Back to my client: The breakthrough came when she stopped fighting who she was and started embracing it. Today, she's more relaxed, sets clear boundaries, communicates directly, and tunes into others' needs effectively. The result? Meetings that used to drag on with confusion now end with clarity and positive momentum. Her team respects her more. And leadership now sees her as someone ready for bigger challenges. What tips do you have for more effective communication? ***** Hi, I’m Ilse. I support ambitious and sensitive senior female leaders who are tired of getting into their own way. 📆 20/8/25

Most leaders aren’t destroyed by others. They’re destroyed by themselves. Here is why? They think success is about being strategically brilliant... or experts in their field... And then they fail due to missing self-awareness. Years ago, I worked with a strong executive. Sharp mind. Strong resume. Great results on paper. But his team didn’t trust him. They gave minimal input. They avoided him in meetings. He thought it was all about them - laziness, lack of ambition, wrong culture fit. He couldn’t see that the problem was him, with his dismissive, reactive, and self-centered behaviour. That's when I saw how easily success blinds us. How quickly ego blocks awareness. And how fast people stop telling you the truth when you rise. My learning until today: Self-awareness is the foundation of leadership. Without it, every other skill is wasted. Here are 10 principles to build it daily: 1️⃣ Ask for brutal feedback Don’t fish for praise, invite truth. Growth begins where comfort ends. 2️⃣ Watch your impact, not just intent Good intentions can still hurt. Measure how others experience you. 3️⃣ Listen beyond words What’s unsaid is often more important. Pay attention to body language and silence. 4️⃣ Spot your triggers Stress exposes blind spots. Know what sets you off before it controls you. 5️⃣ Separate ego from role You are not your title. People follow authenticity, not hierarchy. 6️⃣ Reflect daily 5 minutes of honest reflection beats 5 hours of excuses. Ask: “How did I show up today?” 7️⃣ Own mistakes fast Excuses destroy trust. Admission builds it. 8️⃣ Notice recurring feedback If three people tell you the same thing - it’s not coincidence. It’s your blind spot showing. 9️⃣ Test your assumptions “I think they’re fine” is not a fact. Validate before acting. 🔟 Grow with humility Leaders who think they’ve arrived stop learning. Stay curious, stay open. When leaders master self-awareness, people stop working for you and start working with you. Because self-awareness builds trust - and trust builds everything else. Remember: You can’t lead others if you can’t lead yourself. The mirror is the hardest tool in leadership. Self-awareness isn’t soft. It’s the sharpest edge you can have. ‐---‐------------------------------- ♻️ Repost this to support your network. 🔔 Follow me (Simon Koerner) for more valuable content on leadership, culture and growth.

Harsh leadership truth: Many leaders have a critical blind spot. Self-awareness. They're often shocked when 360-degree feedback reveals their leadership style is demotivating or demoralizing. The root cause is usually one of two things: #1 They've never sought out candid feedback about the impact of their leadership #2 They lack the tools to assess their own strengths and weaknesses objectively This blind spot can have disastrous consequences: • Employee engagement plummets as team morale erodes • High-potential talent leaves to find a better leader elsewhere • The leader's career trajectory stalls as their reputation suffers The good news is self-awareness can be developed with intentional effort. Here are 3 strategies I use to help leaders close this gap: #1 Institutionalize Feedback Implement regular 360-degree reviews to gather input from direct reports, peers and managers. Supplement with frequent informal check-ins. The key is to position feedback as a gift – not a threat. #2 Leverage Assessments Use scientifically validated tools like StrengthsFinder or DISC to build self-understanding. Debriefing the results with a certified coach provides powerful "aha" moments and actionable insights. #3 Examine Impact vs. Intent Have leaders map out pivotal team interactions and objectively compare their intended impact with the actual impact on others. The gaps are often revelatory and become focus areas for adjustment. As self-awareness grows, I've seen leaders transform in powerful ways: • They mend strained relationships and build deep trust and loyalty • They start showing up in a way that inspires and engages their teams • They make better decisions by accounting for their natural tendencies and biases Helping a leader close their self-awareness gap is some of my most gratifying and high-impact work. The ripple effects on their team, organization and career are immense. If you're in a leadership role, don't let a lack of self-awareness hold you back. Proactively seek to understand your strengths, blind spots and impact. It takes humility and courage, but the payoff is well worth it - for you and everyone you lead. Join the 12,000+ leaders who get our weekly email newsletter.  https://lnkd.in/en9vxeNk

Most CEOs I coach think they're self-aware. Then I ask: "What were you thinking about 30 seconds ago?" Blank stare. Self-awareness isn't just knowing your strengths and weaknesses. Its very foundation is metacognition: a real-time awareness of your internal process. Without it, you don't stand a chance at changing. Self-aware leaders notice patterns after the fact: "I always get defensive in board meetings." Metacognitive leaders catch themselves in the moment: "I'm getting defensive right now. What's driving this reaction?" One creates insight. The other creates choice. Here's how to build it: Set 3 random phone alarms daily. When they go off, pause and ask: "What was I just thinking? What emotion am I feeling? What action urge do I notice right now?" Do this for two weeks and you'll start catching your patterns before they derail important conversations, decisions, or relationships. Most leaders spend years trying to fix their behavior. Smart ones start by watching their minds.

One of the most dangerous things in leadership? Unaware toxicity. I’ve worked with executives who weren’t trying to be arrogant or controlling. They simply didn’t realize how their presence impacted others. According to Harvard Business Review, 95% of people think they’re self-aware, but only 10-15% actually are. That means most leaders are making decisions, managing teams, and shaping culture with unchecked blind spots. Self-awareness is a strategic advantage. It affects everything. Including how you negotiate, lead under pressure, relate to your team, and handle high-stakes decisions. Here’s something most leaders don’t know: When your emotional intensity hits a 7 out of 10 or higher, your logic drops, even if you’re excited or happy. That’s why emotional awareness is essential. So what does self-awareness actually mean? It means checking in with yourself before walking into a room. Noticing when your body is off, your tone is sharp, or your intentions are misaligned. It means recognizing the ripple effects your reactions have on everyone around you. And this is where the real damage gets done: Some leaders become aware of how they operate and still choose to manipulate. Those are the ones you need to remove from your company entirely. But for those who are willing to do the work? Self-awareness can transform everything. Where is where to start: 1. Interoceptive Awareness Practice sensing your heartbeat and breath during moments of stress. Track your physiological signals. The more aware you are of your internal state, the faster you can self-regulate. 2. Daily Debrief Ask: What emotion drove me today? Where was I reactive? What decisions felt misaligned? Go beyond surface-level journaling and get into emotional cause and effect. 3. Real Feedback Loops Ask peers, not just subordinates, for feedback. Build an environment where people can tell you how you actually come across. 4. Emotional Downshifting Name what you feel. Breathe. Anchor. It takes 60 seconds to shift out of limbic overdrive and into clarity. 5. Empathic Awareness Before your next meeting, ask yourself, “If I were them, how would I experience me right now?” That’s how trust is built in real-time. Self-awareness just might be the most powerful leadership skill of the next decade.

I once watched a brilliant physician lose his dream job. Not because of skill, but because he couldn’t read the room. He missed the silent cues when a patient was anxious. He brushed off a nurse’s concern, too focused on his checklist. His clinical acumen was flawless. But his emotional intelligence? That’s where things unraveled. Sound familiar? In medicine, we’re taught to master knowledge and procedures. But nobody teaches us how to master ourselves or our relationships. Yet emotional intelligence could be the most critical skill in your toolkit. It directly impacts: → Patient trust → Team cohesion → Your own wellbeing So how do you actually build emotional intelligence? It’s not just about being “nice.” It’s about knowing yourself and others. Here’s how to start, even if you feel uncomfortable: ✅ Practice self-awareness daily. ↳ At the end of each shift, ask: ↳ What did I feel today? ↳ What triggered me? ↳ When did I react instead of respond? ✅ Get serious about listening. ↳ Stop rehearsing your answer while someone else is talking. ↳ Let them finish. Pause. Then reply. ✅ Seek feedback, then sit with it. ↳ Ask a trusted peer: “How do I come across in high-pressure situations?” ↳ Don’t defend. ↳ Just absorb. ✅ Label your emotions. ↳ “I’m frustrated.” ↳ “I’m anxious.” ↳ “I’m exhausted.” ↳ Naming it takes away its power. ✅Reframe your perspective. ↳ When a colleague snaps, ask: “What might they be experiencing?” ↳ Empathy isn’t weakness. It’s strategic. ✅ Build a pause into your day. ↳ Before you respond to an email, page, or patient, take a breath. ↳ That second can save your reputation—or your career. ✅ Invest in relationships. ↳ Remember details about your staff’s lives. ↳ Celebrate wins, even tiny ones. ↳ Say thank you. ↳ Mean it. The truth? Clinical excellence gets you in the door. Emotional intelligence keeps you there and moves you up. And if you’re feeling the sting of burnout, this isn’t just career advice. It’s survival. Your patients need it. Your colleagues crave it. You deserve it. What’s one moment you wish you’d handled differently? Share your story below. Let’s learn from each other. 🔔 Follow me, Dr. Heath Jolliff, for more tips ♻️ Share with your network to help them

𝗪𝗲’𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗴𝗼𝗹𝗱𝗲𝗻 𝗿𝘂𝗹𝗲: 𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗮𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱.  While this principle is well-intentioned and a helpful starting point, effective leadership requires more. It calls for a deeper understanding of individual needs and preferences. Strong leadership means going beyond your own perspective.  The platinum rule—treat others the way they want to be treated—requires curiosity, empathy, and adaptability. It asks us to listen carefully and adjust how we lead based on what motivates each person. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗮𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀.  Understanding your own preferences helps you take better care of yourself. When you’re clear on what you need to feel motivated, supported, or appreciated, you can be more intentional about meeting those needs. This kind of self-awareness is essential for preventing burnout and staying grounded in your role as a leader. It allows you to model healthy boundaries and create space for others to do the same. Your self-awareness can also help you recognize that others may need something different. Some people value recognition, others crave autonomy, flexibility, or growth opportunities. There is no single best way to support or motivate everyone. For example, when it comes to appreciation, one person might be energized by public recognition. Another might prefer a quiet one-on-one thank-you. Some may respond best to tangible rewards, others to extra time off. Personally, I tend to express appreciation through physical gestures like a hug or a pat on the back. But not everyone is comfortable with touch, and what feels warm to one person might feel uncomfortable—or even inappropriate—to someone else. The same applies to feedback. You may value directness, but someone else may need a softer approach to absorb and reflect on what’s being said. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝘂𝗺 𝗿𝘂𝗹𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝘂𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝘂𝘀.  When we understand how others prefer to be treated, we build stronger communication and deeper relationships. In turn, we create a more engaged, motivated, and connected team. When have you experienced a moment where the golden rule fell short—either in how you treated someone, or in how someone treated you? #leadership #executivecoaching #platinumrule #goldenrule

Growing up as the child of divorced parents, I unconsciously adopted the roles of peacekeeper and people-pleaser. These roles shaped my thoughts, actions, and behaviors in ways I didn't fully comprehend—often not to my benefit. As growth-minded professionals, we can greatly benefit from external input to identify areas for development and increased self-awareness. One framework I've found particularly insightful to approach this is the Johari Window: This 4-quadrant model helps us comprehend what we know and don't know about ourselves, leading to improved personal and professional outcomes: 1) Arena: What you and others know about you 2) Blind Spot: What others know about you, but you're unaware of 3) Facade (The Vault): What you know about yourself but keep hidden 4) Unknown: What neither you nor others know about you Research shows that as the Arena expands and other quadrants shrink, outcomes improve. So, how can we intentionally enlarge our Arena? Here are 3 strategies: You can expand your Arena by actively seeking, listening to, and acting upon feedback. This enhances self-awareness and reduces your Blind Spot. Minimize your Facade by sharing more about your values, perspectives, and experiences. This builds rapport and trust in your interactions. Tackle the Unknown through self-reflection and professional help like therapy. Explore the root causes behind behaviors highlighted in feedback. Reflecting on my own journey... I realized through feedback and therapy that my conflict-avoidance stemmed from those assumed childhood roles. By identifying this as a blind spot, I began working on embracing productive conflict in professional settings and practicing assertive communication. This journey has been challenging but transformative, allowing for healthier, more productive interactions. The path to self-discovery is ongoing, but the Johari Window has been an invaluable guide in enhancing my self-awareness, both personally and professionally. I encourage you to explore this tool for your own growth! What other frameworks have you found useful in your personal development journey? Share your experiences in the comments below.