Delivering Bad News Sensitively

Bad news: you’re giving bad news wrong Here’s the research backed way to do it without breaking trust. Stanford’s Robert Sutton has studied this for 40+ years. When delivering bad news, four ingredients matter: Predictability. Understanding. Control. Compassion. During the London Blitz, people in regularly bombed areas were less anxious. Not because danger vanished… because they could predict it. Uncertainty not bad news spikes anxiety. Brian Chesky (Airbnb) laid off ~25% during COVID and still preserved trust by: Explaining the why Letting people keep laptops Letting them keep vested stock Giving them time to say goodbye What not to do: Bird laid off 406 people via a 2-minute Zoom. Some even thought it was pre-recorded. Brutal. Demoralizing. Performative. Sutton’s take: Too many leaders confuse toughness with sadism Cutting deeper “to seem bold,” copying competitors, or just because they can. That’s not leadership. That’s ego maintenance. Even small control signals matter: A CEO promised: “No layoffs for the next 4 months.” Not forever. Not everything. But it gave breathing room. Predictability > vague reassurance. This isn’t just about layoffs. Any move that threatens status, identity, or purpose qualifies: New org charts. Killed products. RTO mandates. When people feel blindsided, they disengage or leave. What people want in hard moments: To understand what/why/when To avoid being ambushed To feel seen and treated fairly To plan their next move Deliver that always. When the news is bad, your job isn’t robotic spin. Leaders we remember aren’t the ones who never made cuts They’re the ones who made them with dignity.

As a leader, the WAY you deliver bad news often matters more than the news itself. Your team could walk away feeling deflated or inspired. But many leaders barrel forward with the conversation before they’re clear on what kind of message they need to convey. If you accidentally convey the wrong kind of message (even if it’s clear and transparent), you can drain your team’s trust and morale. That’s why you need to be clear on what kind of message you’re delivering before you communicate anything. This starts by asking yourself two questions: 1. Can we fix this? 2. Where does this problem come from? Those two answers determine which of four “bad news” messages you are delivering, and each one requires you to show up differently. 1. The “Fix It” Message When your organization created the problem, and it’s solvable, own it completely. My firm once hired the wrong agency to rebuild our website.  It cost us $300,000, inbound traffic collapsed, and our business stagnated. As an executive team, we owned it, communicated often, and reported progress openly. It took almost two years, but we fixed it. 2. The “Bounce Back” Message When external forces create the problem, but you can adapt, stay calm and specific. Your team needs to know how you’ll adapt and what success looks like. When COVID froze travel, Airbnb's CEO cut 25% of the workforce but explained why clearly and rallied the remaining team. That clarity helped them recover and IPO months later. 3. The “Shut It Down” Message When something isn’t working, and it’s time to end it, create closure. Honor the work, extract the learning, and spell out where resources will go next. Instagram’s cofounders shut down their AI news app a year after launch because the market opportunity wasn’t big enough to justify ongoing investment. They praised the team’s work while framing the closure as a strategic necessity. 4. The “Move On” Message When the world changes in ways that make your path untenable, help people release the past. Steve Jobs held a funeral for the old Mac operating system.  Organ music played, and a coffin sat on stage. The message was unmistakable…stop building for the old world and move your energy to Mac OS X. Each message needs empathy, appreciation, honest disclosure, and persuasion about what comes next. If you can name which moment you are in, you can communicate what your audience needs to hear. #Leadership #ExecutiveCommunication #ChangeManagement #CrisisCommunication

Have you ever felt your heart race while facing the challenge of delivering bad news to a customer in a live chat? If so, you are in good company. This is one of the most daunting aspects of customer support and can often lead to heightened emotions and escalated situations. But what if I told you there’s a proven, structured approach that can empower you to handle these tricky exchanges with confidence? I’ve created a four-step framework called CARE, specifically designed to help you convey bad news effectively: **C - Clearly Explain the Issue**   **A - Acknowledge the Impact**   **R - Respectfully Listen**   **E - Explain the Next Steps** This method isn’t just about softening the blow; it’s about upholding professionalism, demonstrating empathy, and steering the conversation toward a constructive conclusion. When it comes to explaining the issue, be concise and assertive. Cut out any fluff or unnecessary apologies. Speak with clarity and purpose, while ensuring your tone remains respectful. By acknowledging the impact of the news, you show genuine empathy, which greatly enhances the likelihood of the customer accepting your message. A simple phrase like, “I understand this isn’t the outcome you were hoping for,” can make a world of difference. Engaging in respectful listening—yes, even in written form—builds trust and alleviates frustration. It’s about grasping the intent behind the customer's words and recognizing their concerns. Finally, by explaining the next steps, you guide the conversation toward resolution. Provide alternatives, share useful links, or offer tips that can still add value for the customer. Countless teams have transformed their customer interactions by adopting this approach. One of my clients reported a significant reduction in escalated chats and a remarkable improvement in customer satisfaction scores. Imagine navigating even the toughest conversations with composure, equipped with a reliable technique that leads you forward. It’s not merely about delivering bad news; it’s about doing so in a way that respects both the customer’s feelings and your company’s standards. Delivering bad news is undeniably one of the toughest challenges in live chat. Are you ready to discover more powerful techniques like this to elevate your live chat support skills?

Had to deliver tough feedback to a CFO candidate today. They didn't get the role and really wanted it, these conversations are always tough. I believe candidates deserve honesty and transparency, especially after investing time and energy in a rigorous interview process. Sometimes it is tough to get specific feedback from the client but I try to and in this case the client gave really valuable advice. I told the candidate exactly what the client shared with me, the specific areas where other candidates had the edge and the skills they could strengthen for their next opportunity. Was it uncomfortable? A little. Would giving a vague "the client decided to go in a different direction" have been easier? Maybe. I don’t think that’s helpful or respectful and there are ways of delivering the news with tact and care. Throughout my career I have come across recruiters who would dodge these conversations or make up generic excuses. I get it, no one likes being the bearer of bad news. But candidates can't grow from feedback they never receive. This particular candidate thanked me for the candor. They asked follow-up questions. We talked about how to position themselves differently next time. That's the conversation that matters. If you're going to be in the business of shaping careers, you owe people the truth, delivered with empathy, but delivered nonetheless. Be interested to hear your experiences and feedback.

✨ Breaking Bad News in Veterinary Medicine: The SPIKES Protocol ✨ 📚This post shows a case none of us ever want to encounter: a large heart-base mass with pericardial effusion, highly suspicious for hemangiosarcoma. These are the moments where medical expertise alone is not enough. What truly matters is how we guide families through devastating news. 🩹This is where the SPIKES protocol comes in — a structured approach originally developed in human oncology but increasingly adopted in veterinary medicine to help clinicians deliver bad news with clarity, compassion, and dignity. S – Setting Create a quiet, private, interruption-free space. Sit down. Make eye contact. Your presence already changes how the information will be received. P – Perception Before explaining, ask what the owner already understands about the case. This avoids overwhelming them and helps you connect information to their existing knowledge. I – Invitation Not every owner wants every detail. Ask how much they wish to know and tailor the discussion to their needs and emotional readiness. K – Knowledge Share the diagnosis (or suspected diagnosis) in clear, honest, non-technical language. Avoid euphemisms. Deliver information in small, digestible segments, pausing often. E – Emotions / Empathy Acknowledge reactions — silence, fear, tears, or shock. Respond with empathy, not solutions. “I can see how difficult this is” goes further than many realize. S – Strategy & Summary Once emotions settle, offer a plan: what we can do today, what decisions will be needed soon, and what supportive options exist. Owners cope far better when they leave with direction instead of uncertainty. 💬 The SPIKES framework reminds us that delivering bad news is not just a clinical skill — it’s a humane responsibility. Cases like this are heartbreaking, but they are also opportunities to show the very best of our profession: competence, empathy, and gentle honesty. If you use a structured approach like SPIKES in your practice, you’re already helping families through one of the hardest moments they will ever face. #dog#cat#human#veterinary #medicine #cardiology #compassion

Let's be honest. Bad news sucks. Especially in corporate when your credibility is on the line. You know you have to deliver it, but you're worried about how it makes you look. Will they lose trust in you? Will this hurt your next promotion? Will they question your competence? Here's the truth: Bad news doesn't damage your credibility. How you deliver it does. Here's how to present problems strategically without losing respect: 1. Lead with the problem, not the excuse Don't bury the issue in context or backstory. Get to the point immediately. -> Say: We're going to miss the Q4 deadline by two weeks before explaining why. -> Leadership needs to understand the impact first, then the reasons. 2. Own it, even if it wasn't entirely your fault. Blaming your team, another department, or circumstances makes you look defensive. Say: This happened on my watch, and here's how I'm addressing it instead of It's not my fault because... Ownership builds trust. Excuses destroy it. 3. Come with solutions, not just problems If you show up with bad news and no plan, you're asking them to solve it for you. Prepare 2-3 options with trade-offs. Say: Here are three ways we can move forward. Option A gets us back on track fastest but costs more. Option B... Even if they don't pick your solution, you've shown you're thinking ahead. 4. Show what you've already done to mitigate the issue Prove you didn't just discover the problem and panic. Say: We've already paused X, redirected Y, and set up daily check-ins to monitor progress. This shows you're managing it actively, not waiting for rescue. 5. Follow up with a transparent update Don't deliver bad news and then go quiet. That creates doubt. -> Schedule a follow-up within a week. Share progress, what's working, and what's still at risk. -> Consistent communication rebuilds confidence fast. Bad news is inevitable. But how you handle it separates reactive employees from trusted leaders. Leadership doesn't expect perfection. They expect honesty, ownership, and a plan. Give them that, and your credibility stays intact. Share this with someone who's about to have a tough conversation with their boss.

Vague language doesn't protect people from bad news. It protects the person delivering it. When someone is already scared, ambiguity doesn't soften the moment. It hands their fear the microphone. I learned this during my husband's ICU stay after his cardiac arrest. Because of COVID restrictions, I wasn't allowed in the hospital. Every update came by phone. He was unconscious the entire time, heavily sedated while doctors cooled his body to limit brain and organ damage. I couldn't talk to him. I couldn't see him. Everything I knew about whether my husband would live or die came through doctors and nurses on the other end of a call. I remember one call where a doctor opened with, "We have some concerns." Then she paused. In that silence, my brain filled in everything she hadn't said. His heart? His brain? His lungs? Something new? Is he going to die after all? My nervous system had been running on fumes for 36 hours. By the time she got to the specifics, I'd already lived through several worst-case outcomes. This is what uncertainty does under stress. It fills the gaps. And it doesn't do so kindly. This isn't just true in medicine. It's true anywhere authority meets vulnerability. For anyone delivering difficult or uncertain news, speed to specificity is a kindness. "We're monitoring his kidneys, which took a hit during the arrest" lands very differently than "we have some concerns" followed by silence. Even "we don't know yet" gives the mind somewhere to land. Vagueness isn't neutral. It's avoidance. Authority requires the courage to be clear.

We decided not to hire this candidate, and that meant canceling the interview we had already scheduled with her. It was one of the hardest decisions I’ve had to make. There’s always a lot of excitement when a candidate makes it this far in the process—especially when they’ve invested time, energy, and hope. But sometimes, you have to change direction. And the hardest part is delivering that news. She asked, “What happened? I thought I had an interview scheduled?” And I had to admit: I didn’t have the best answer, because we just decided to shift gears mid-point. In those moments, it’s easy to fall back on vague excuses. But I’ve learned that transparency and empathy are so much more important. Even if it feels uncomfortable. This is my first time wearing the "hiring manager" hat—hiring talent that will work directly under me. I’m grateful for the opportunity because it’s helping me understand what hiring managers go through, but more importantly, it’s making me feel empathy toward the candidates. I’ve walked in their shoes before. And maybe I’m being a bit sensitive by saying this, but people’s feelings matter a lot. And to hiring managers: Please normalize giving the hard feedback. Even when it's difficult because we have a lot on our plate. Even when it’s awkward. Especially when the candidate asks for feedback on the rejection. If it’s not about their abilities, don’t send a generic response like, "we're prioritizing candidates whose skills closely match the requirements of this role." Someone could go to bed unable to sleep, feeling like they aren’t good enough, when that’s not the case at all. Be cautious of the manner and the time at which a rejection email is sent. Sending a rejection in the morning can ruin someone’s day. If I wouldn’t want something done to me, God forbid I do it to another person. Because at the end of the day, how we treat people matters the most.

I’ve been caught up in layoffs a couple of times in my career. They suck, but they happen. One time, I found out I was impacted by a layoff when I saw my own name on the list HR provided. Not in a 1:1 with my boss or a small group meeting with HR. On a spreadsheet. Everyone in the company knew a layoff was coming, so when I received the “CONFIDENTIAL” email with a spreadsheet attached, I knew the week was about to get worse before it got better. I opened the file to prepare for difficult conversations with my team. How odd? What is my name doing on this list? That sinking feeling in my stomach was growing as I called my manager. “Hey, I got the layoff list. It’s rough.” “Yeah. We had to cut deeper than expected," my boss replied. “I see my name on the list. Is there anything you wanted to tell me?” … Silence. … “I’m in Dallas tomorrow. We should talk then.” Click. That’s a true story. It’s also a clear example of how not to deliver tough news. At some point in your life, you will have to deliver bad news. There’s no avoiding it. But there is a right way to do it. I’ve come to rely on what I call the 3 B’s: 1️⃣ Be clear Don’t make people guess. Don’t bury the message. Say what needs to be said, plainly and concisely. More words do not necessarily mean more clarity. Usually, the opposite is true. Brief = clear. 2️⃣ Be direct Don’t hint. Don’t suggest. Don’t soften it until it becomes confusing. Say the thing. Share the message in a way that does not require interpretation. 3️⃣ Be kind Consider the fears, hopes, and dreams of the person receiving the news. Deliver it with respect and in a way that allows the person to retain their dignity. And for the love of all things… Do not deliver life-changing news in an email attachment. How you win matters. Choose integrity!

Layoffs, closures, restructuring... there’s no easy way to deliver hard news — but how you do it matters. I recently watched a video of Gary Vaynerchuk getting fired up (and I mean fired up) over a question from someone whose company announced they would be relocating their headquarters in 3 years. Yes — 3 years’ notice. They also announced that employees who chose not to relocate could keep their jobs and work remotely, but they wouldn’t be eligible for future promotions or increases. This employee was upset. She loves her job and the company, but feels management is ruining it. She asked Gary if she should cut her losses or stay, and he told her (with many trademark f-bombs) that her reaction reeked of entitlement, not injustice. He praised the company for communicating early, offering options, and giving ample time to prepare. (I’ll drop the link to the IG video in the comments if you want to see Gary go full Gary.) And this week, a coaching client called me. Their company recently announced that thousands of jobs will be eliminated by year-end, with a promise to notify impacted employees by the end of the month. No one knows who’s safe. Anxiety is high. Focus is low. We talked through how he, as a leader, could show up during this time: to keep his team informed, build trust, and support them — even while he’s in the dark himself. Here’s the thing: Companies can rarely “win” when change is coming. - If you give no notice — you’re heartless. - If you give months (or 3 years!) notice — you’re cruel for making people wait and wonder. But here’s what I know: ✳️ Transparency, even when imperfect, builds trust. So what can leaders do when change is coming, and people’s jobs — and lives — are on the line? * Communicate in person, with empathy. Even if the company made an official announcement, you need to have the conversation with your team. Meet with your team members one-on-one. Listen. Acknowledge their concerns without defensiveness. Don’t argue with feelings — they’re valid, even if the facts are off. * Be honest and transparent about what you can’t say yet. Answer questions when you can. And when you can’t, be clear about why, and when more information will be shared. People don’t expect certainty, but they do expect integrity. * Relate without centering yourself. If you’re potentially affected too, it’s okay to briefly acknowledge that. But don’t make it about you. Your role is to steady the ship, not captain a therapy circle. * Help them prepare — without feeding panic. Encourage your team to be mindful and proactive (talk with family, reach out to their network). But also remind them of the importance of staying focused and connected to the mission. Their work still matters. Their contributions still count. The truth is — if you haven’t built trust with your team before disruption hits, these conversations will be harder. But it’s never too late to start. You can’t make hard news easy. But you can make it human.