Developing a Communication Style

"Be more assertive in meetings." If you’ve ever received this feedback, you know how tough it is. Especially if you’re an introvert who doesn’t interrupt or feel it’s your place. I was coaching an exec dealing with this exact sticking point. I said, “You’ve gotten this feedback. Let’s talk about what you want to do with it.” A priority for me is to always look at my clients holistically (who are you BEYOND the walls/screens of work). Knowing she had a teenage daughter, I asked this leader to role-play a conversation with her daughter about cleaning her room. She started gently: “Sweetheart, I really would love for you to clean your room. It would make our lives more calm and peaceful...” (you get the picture). I had her pause and imagine it was the fifth time she asked. She began again, “Honey, I really wish you’d...” I stopped her, asked, “Is that true to who you are on weekends? Do you calmly ask for the fifth time or bring up a different character?” She laughed. “No, that’s totally not true.” So, I asked her to show me the real scenario. Suddenly, she’s chopping her hands through the air: “Young lady, I need you to get off the couch, up the stairs, and clean your room right. now. I do NOT want to see you back downstairs until your room is CLEAN.” Boom. Who was THAT? “That,” she said, “was my 'Mom' voice.” Aha. She had the ability to turn on a concise, direct conversation style... she just wasn't used to bringing it to work with her. And the style, it started with a firm movement of her hands. She wasn’t even aware of the hand motion. But that was the tool she needed to embody a more assertive self. Now, when this client needs to be precise and direct, she starts with that hand movement. It cues her body into an assertive character without overthinking every word. Key takeaway: Using body language as a cue can bypass the overactive brain, tapping into characters that already exist within you. One of your Authentic Selves. So, use your body. Practice in front of a camera. Notice what works and eliminate what doesn’t. Your body language can unlock new ways to express assertiveness and confidence. There is more to you than meets the eye. Figure out WHO in YOU you can tap into to become who you need to be. #Leadership #ExecutiveCoaching #Assertiveness #BodyLanguage #ProfessionalDevelopment #Authenticity

I watched a team miss a $250,000 opportunity because of a simple communication breakdown As a team dynamic coach working with organizations across industries, I've seen this scenario play out countless times. Recently, a client was struggling to meet client expectations. They had talented individuals, strong expertise, and a clear strategy. Yet something wasn't clicking. After observing their interactions, the issue became clear: they weren't speaking the same language. Their director was focused on timelines and results, communicating in direct, no-nonsense terms. The creative lead communicated through possibilities and relationship-building, often skipping details. Their data analyst shared concerns in complex reports few took time to understand while the client liaison concentrated on maintaining harmony. Different communication styles. Different priorities. All valuable, but completely misaligned. ✅✅ Understanding these four distinct communication styles is transformative for any team: 1. Controllers: Direct, decisive, and results-oriented. They value efficiency and bottom-line impact 2. Promoters: Enthusiastic, imaginative, and people-focused. They thrive on possibilities and building relationships 3. Analyzers: Methodical, detail-oriented, and data-driven. They seek precision and logical solutions, and prefer to thoroughly evaluate before deciding 4. Supporters: Empathetic, patient, and team-focused. They prioritize group harmony and ensuring everyone feels valued. They often ask "How does everyone feel about this approach?" What transformed this team wasn't a new project management system or restructuring. It was awareness of these styles. When I helped them recognize and adapt to these patterns, something remarkable happened. 🌟🌟 The director started providing context behind deadlines. The creative lead documented specific action items. The analyst delivered insights in more accessible formats. The liaison created space for constructive challenges. 🌟🌟 Within weeks, their efficiency improved by 30%. Client feedback turned overwhelmingly positive. And they secured a contract renewal worth three times their previous agreement. This pattern repeats across every successful team I work with. The differentiator isn't talent or resources – it's communication awareness. Understanding your natural style and recognizing others' preferences creates the foundation for exceptional teamwork and professional growth. What's your natural communication style? Sign up for my newsletter for weekly insights on elevating your communication effectiveness: https://www.lift-ex.com/ #communication #team #performance #professionaldevelopment #leadership #cassandracoach

This communication mistake can cost you the promotion, or even the job. It's the inability to adapt…and then justifying it as authenticity. Communication versatility is the secret for influencing others. I recall a senior manager who spoke in a brusque manner. Her tone was curt and disdainful. She wasn't liked by anyone but her boss. When someone daringly pointed it out to her, she exclaimed, ‘I'm just being myself.’ She couldn't see her blind spot. Eventually, her boss left and the new boss didn't appreciate her communication style. She didn't get the promotion she expected, and was sidelined. Adapting to different audience requires self awareness, skill, and empathy. Having communication versatility is the forgotten twin of EQ that can make or break careers. Before anyone protests…It's not about being fake. I'm against the concept of Fake it til you make it. It's about making it easy for others to understand and trust you. Your effectiveness isn't just about WHAT you communicate, but HOW you adapt your style for each stakeholder. Our technical expertise and experience can get us to the top. Communication versatility keeps us there and beyond. Some tips on developing an Adaptive Arsenal 🌟 Build a toolkit of different communication styles. 🌟 Practice switching between them seamlessly 🌟 Learn the art of reading subtle cues Mastering this skillset of communication versatility enhances leadership presence. What is your communication style?

𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗰𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗼𝗱. This is a leadership lesson I’ve had to relearn more times than I care to admit. I used to confuse 𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘺 with 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘣𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺. Turns out, they’re not the same thing. 𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜, “𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙚𝙚𝙩 𝙥𝙚𝙤𝙥𝙡𝙚 ��𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙖𝙧𝙚”? As a leader, it’s not just about knowing where your people are. It’s about adjusting how you show up to meet them. That’s hard when you're wired like me. I’m logical. Structured. Systems-first. My wife calls me emotionally constipated. I prefer “modern-day Spock.” 🖖🏾 I like facts, research, and data. So naturally, that’s how I used to communicate. The problem? 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙 𝙞𝙨𝙣’𝙩 𝙢𝙖𝙙𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙎𝙥𝙤𝙘𝙠𝙨. People need warmth, not just wisdom. Stories, not just statistics. 💡 𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲'𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜’𝘃𝗲 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗽𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲: ✅ Ask how people like to receive info ✅ Slow down for the human, not just the goal ✅ Adapt your delivery ✅ Lead with empathy, land with logic As I transition from the military after 27 years, this is one skill I know I’ll carry forward. Because you can’t lead people you don’t understand. Even if you’re a Spock. 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁’𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘀𝘁𝘆𝗹𝗲? 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁’𝘀 𝗯𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗯𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗽𝗼𝘁 𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿? Let’s compare notes below 👇🏾 #Leadership #Communication #MilitaryTransition #CyberLeadership #ExecutivePresence

Good corporate communication feels like putting together a killer outfit; it's not just tops, pants, and shoes. The blend of texture, color, silhouette, and seasonality makes it shine. So often, at work, we stick to e-mails and meetings. Working on long-term projects at a bigger company means more stakeholders, total time, and approvals. You could set routine status update meetings throughout the project lifecycle, but it may be met with collective groans: why? Because updates don't necessarily equate to needing a meeting. So, instead, I vary my communication style and tempo to keep my circles of communication in the loop and maintain excitement. Half-baked thought I want their thoughts on? Send a voice message. Exciting milestone with something to show for it? They get a Loom. A small obstacle that needs two-way feedback? I'll call a huddle. A large obstacle that needs two-way feedback AND collaborative work? Now, I'll schedule a Zoom call. All of this amounts to helping keep eyes and interest on you without overwhelming calendars. Frequency and depth variability create a richer communication and collaboration texture. What about you? #effectivecommunication #async #productivity

Here's a hard truth I've learned about leadership: More executives lose their jobs due to poor communication than because of performance issues. Why? Because your ability to succeed as a leader often hinges on how effectively you communicate your ideas, align with your peers and leadership, and clearly demonstrate your results. Communication challenges are inevitable, especially under stress. And if you don't tackle them head-on, they can quickly undermine your career. I'll admit, communication has always been a growth area for me: ✅ Strengths: I'm direct, candid, honest, and (at least I think) compassionate ⚠️ Weaknesses: I can be impatient, impulsive, interruptive, and sometimes let emotion cloud my clarity At Pavilion, we've been actively working to solve this problem by using tools like SurePeople, which help our entire team better understand each other's communication styles (fun fact, all Pavilion members have access to the SurePeople assessment as part of their membership!). SurePeople provides specific, tailored advice on how to communicate with each person, especially under pressure. My recent hack? I load SurePeople’s detailed communication advice about a specific coworker into ChatGPT, along with my first drafts of emails or Slack messages I'm about to send them. I then ask ChatGPT to refine my message using the insights from SurePeople so it’s specifically tailored to resonate with that individual. This approach helps me ensure clarity, remove unintended emotional tone, and significantly improves alignment and understanding. Starting important conversations in writing (specifically, by email) has become a game changer, especially when things get tough. It lets me carefully curate my thoughts, remove emotional noise, and deliver clear, compelling messages that land exactly as intended. I've shared a graphic below illustrating what SurePeople say's about my colleague Aaron Leeder's communication style, and how it relates to mine. This is just a small snapshot - there's a LOT more detail in the platform - but you can get a sense of where differences in communication style might cause misunderstandings or frustration. For the last few months, I've been using this approach for clearer, more effective communication -- and it's working! What starts as a well written email then turns into a productive conversation where I feel like I'm able to convey my thinking in a way that is productive. No one is born a perfect communicator - but we can all improve with intention and the right tools. Anyone else use assessment tools in this way? I would love to know what is working for you. #Leadership #Communication #Kathleenhq

Early in my career, I learned a tough lesson: expertise alone isn’t enough. It’s your ability to communicate that sets you apart. Here are 9 practical ways to build this essential skill. Small changes can lead to big results. Which of these tips will you put into action first? 🌟 9 Active Ways to Improve Your Communication Skills 🌟 If you're serious about improving your communication, here are 5+ action-oriented ways you can elevate your skills today! 1️⃣ Enroll in Communication Training Take a structured course or workshop that focuses on communication. Whether it’s public speaking, business communication, or conflict resolution, formal training offers valuable frameworks for improvement. 2️⃣ Read Books on Communication Expand your knowledge with books by experts like Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People or Chris Voss's Never Split the Difference. These provide actionable insights and real-world communication strategies. 3️⃣ Join Toastmasters Toastmasters is a global organization focused on public speaking and leadership. Practicing speeches and receiving feedback in a supportive environment will enhance both your speaking and listening skills. 4️⃣ Attend Webinars & Online Workshops There are plenty of webinars that focus on different aspects of communication—be it persuasive speaking, non-verbal communication, or effective emailing. Sign up for one today to deepen your knowledge! 5️⃣ Invest in One-on-One Coaching A coach can offer personalized feedback, help you identify blind spots, and guide you toward meaningful improvements. Whether it's speech coaching, executive coaching, or career coaching, this one-on-one attention is invaluable. 6️⃣ Practice Active Listening with Podcasts Listen to podcasts on communication and leadership (e.g., The Art of Charm, The Communication Guys). Pay attention to the speakers' techniques and how they engage with their audience. 7️⃣ Record Yourself Speaking Practice makes perfect! Record yourself presenting or explaining a concept, then review the recording. Notice areas for improvement in tone, clarity, and engagement. This will boost your self-awareness and refine your delivery. 8️⃣ Join Discussion Groups or Networking Events Engage in conversations at local networking events, professional associations, or discussion groups. The more you practice speaking in varied settings, the more comfortable and effective you will become. 9️⃣ Seek Feedback from Mentors or Peers Ask for specific feedback on your communication style—whether it’s in presentations, meetings, or casual conversations. Regular, constructive feedback will accelerate your growth. Ready to take action? Start incorporating these resources and activities into your routine today, and watch your communication skills soar! 🚀

As a Chief of Staff, changing communication styles is essential for effective leadership. Different situations and audiences require different approaches, and being able to adapt is a key skill. Remaining authentic through the style changes is important as well. One way to think about changing styles is like wearing scarves. Depending on the weather, the occasion, and the mood, a different scarf is appropriate. The person is the same, only the style has shifted. Similarly, depending on the context, the goal, and the relationship, a different communication style will best suit. For example, when delivering bad news or constructive feedback, a more direct and assertive style may work best. When motivating and inspiring, a more expressive and enthusiastic style would be better. When collaborating and building trust with peers, a more supportive and empathetic style is best. And when analyzing and solving complex problems, a logical and systematic style can be appropriate. Of course, flexible guidelines to communication is important. Knowing your audience, your material and your desired outcome will drive the style that you choose. Be aware of your own preferences and tendencies, and be open to learning from others who have different styles. Constantly expanding your repertoire of communication skills helps the Chief of Staff be a versatile and effective leader. #COSMonday #ChiefOfStaff #Communication #Leadership