Uncomfortable.
All my life, I have been sold comfort. There are the “small comforts” of candles and nice underwear, of course, and the upgrades to extra legroom, or a thicker mattress; then there’s comfort in my own skin, achieved through beauty regimens and clothing — and then more clothing to compensate for the physical discomfort of all that beauty.
Where I grew up, “comfortable” was also a euphemism for “rich,” a word people used to deny the guilt dragging behind their outsized privilege. But comfort— the freedom to make and spend money, to fit in, to speak without fear that your ideas will be punished— is a privilege in itself.
This is why I think Ziwe Fumudoh’s incredibly uncomfortable Instagram Live show, Baited, is necessary viewing. Since the interview show launched in 2017, the comedian and Desus & Mero writer has been tearing social comfort down by confronting guests bluntly on matters of race. Naturally, her recent interviews with high-profile Problematic White People have been blowing up.
“How many Black friends do you have?” Fumudoh asks disgraced domestic goddess Alison Roman. Roman cites “four or five,” which Fumudoh notes is the number that pretty much everyone uses, indicating that the real answer for these guests is probably closer to “zero.”
Roman also has trouble naming five Asian people, and knows Marcus Garvey as a New York City street.
In another episode, we learn that the scammer-influencer Caroline Calloway believes there is no relationship between her privilege and her success. As a reward for having bought books from Black-owned shops, she asks for an “ally cookie.” (She has not read most of the books.)
Fumudoh’s responses are cutting— she’ll throw in “iconic!” or “performative!” while the interviewee pauses for air. That sharpness slashes through the plush curtains of the guests’ comfort; oscillating between embarrassment and defensiveness, they’re left to publicly decide whether or not to take down those curtains and let everyone see into their opulent, fragile interior worlds.
To watch is to cringe, precisely because the fact of whiteness is so uncomfortable. That’s the zinger in this whole situation: It’s the ruthless pursuit of comfort that has led white people to push everyone else out of the paradigm.
What this says to me is that white people have to change their relationship to comfort— to commit to interrogating their comforts and giving many of them up.
Here are some comforts I can do without:
- Taking every professional opportunity for myself or my white peers
- Avoiding “politics” with my extended family
- Playing with excess discretionary income (and if you’re wondering how much of your money to donate to orgs working for racial justice, I think a healthy amount is a sum that makes you at least slightly uncomfortable. See here for many potential recipients of your donations)
- Insulating my eventual kids from the topics of race, violence, and inequity— and sending them to majority-white schools
White friends, what are yours?
-Kate
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