Drowning in addictions - is it worth it?

Last year I took busy to a new level. I'm still feeling the effects.

The first hint that maybe I was taking too much on was when everyone greeting me started with: "You look tired."

At first, I brushed it away. After all, I was working my passion, making a contribution, working with great people, yadda yadda yadda. All those wonderful things that are supposed to give us this rich and fulfilling life.

Except, looking back, I think I was just stoking my addictions.

I'm fairly certain I'm not the Lone Ranger here.

These addictions have insidiously wound their way into our lives under our radar. They feel so good that we're likely to miss them, but the effects they have on us are brutal.

While adults are struggling with a rise in mental health issues, it's actually our kids who are coping it. According to Columbia University's Mailman School of Public Health, depression rose the most rapidly among Americans age 12 to 17.

Why?

Addictions. They've crept into our everyday lives while we were looking the other way. They're now part of us, like another appendage, unless you can wake up and make a conscious effort to put them down and step away.

That may be easier said than done.

Here's some of the more serious addictions we need to guard against:

Being a good person

Do something for someone and it just feels so good that you can't help yourself! Then you have to find someone else to do for. Then another, and another. Pretty soon life is about how many people you can help. Which sounds like a life worth living. I'm in.

Except, there's the underlying guilt that comes along for the ride. It whispers in your ear seductively like a lover, pushing you to find other people to do for. While quietly telling you to ignore who you've already helped. It's never enough. You have to help more.

And more.

And more.

We forget to eat, or grab something on the fly that isn't really what we should put in our body. But, it's quick and easy so we can get back out there helping others.

Exercise? Tomorrow. I promise I'll get to it as soon as I remember.

Sleep? Nahhhh.

While still feeling like there's more to be done.

All the while never putting your own oxygen mask on until you're too depleted to help anyone. While, feeling bad that you haven't done more.

Doing stuff

I notice this dissatisfaction at the end of my day if I don't produce some kind of tangible result. Some thing I can touch, hold, or look at.

It creates this dynamic tension between knowing I need to take that time for critical thinking yet feeling like I'm slacking off if I don't do something.

It scratches at the back of my brain, pushing me to hurry up with any thinking and get back to the “real” work to be done.

Creating this frenetic pace as I push to get stuff done.

Believe it or not, part of it stems from device addiction. Those handy little devils actually give us all ADHD from looking at the screens all the time. Our hyped-up brains are so twitchy they need to do something to keep them occupied.

We’re not just surface learners now, we’re chronic doers.

Except, we are human beings, not human doings.

We need to slow down sometimes, and not just when we collapse on vacation.

The shiny things

It's not just the Mercedes mentality that we need to guard against. It's also the coconut oil, hemp, yoga, Snapchat and Facebook.

It's our never-ending search for that thing that will make us feel something more than what we have now - admired, healthier, sexier, richer, prettier, loved...

It's why some of the highest performing stocks globally are pharmaceutical companies and luxury goods.

It's why we keep spending on new things and tossing out the old stuff at the first sign of a scratch or scuff. Why society has turned from revering and valuing age to worshiping youth.

The problem is, that we never actually achieve whatever it is we really want from buying that thing. When we link our happiness, self-worth and fulfillment to things, we create this never ending loop of desire, acquisition, momentary joy and boredom linking back to desire.

We're never satisfied and think we just need to get a little more, make a little more.

It's why we love our shiny new car, until our neighbor drives up in their even nicer one.

Being happy

I went to meet a friend who was speaking at the Happiness Conference. When the doors opened and people started pouring out the first thing I noticed was no one looked happy!

Ironically, when we place such a premium on happiness, we create the pressure and conditions for depression and stress.

There is tremendous value to be found in our rainbow of emotions.

For instance, frustration. It's driven many entrepreneurs to solve problems that led to innovations such as the iPhone, electric cars and solar-powered computers.

Sadness pushes us to reach out and connect with other people.

While happiness is great and certainly feels better than our negative emotions, it's unrealistic to expect to be happy all the time.

Worse still, when we stop feeling happy, we get upset about not being happy, which feeds into the upset, making us feel unhappy.

Adding more pressure to life.

Over-valuing money

A friend of mine built a multi-national company over the past ten years. Her secret?

Spinal health.

Keeping her back in good shape ensured she was consistently able to think and feel her best.

Did you know that all our major organs are connected to our spine by nerves? That when your back is out of alignment, it doesn't just affect your spine. It can wreck all sorts of havoc on your body.

Yet, if I were to run two webinars, one sharing secrets to spinal health and the other on how to build a multi-million-dollar business, which would get the most attention?

It's why business coaches command more money than health ones.

Granted we need money to live in this world, but beyond the amount that ensures our basic needs are met, adding one extra dollar actually doesn't make us happier.

True, it's a far easier trip in business than economy class. I'm there.

But, it's the context that we have around money that's pushing us to earn more, crave more, push for more, no matter how much we have.

I'm wondering though, is it worth it?