Don’t be afraid of being afraid.

I was doom scrolling in Instagram the other day. Ok, night.

Ok. FINE. Before bed. Let's be honest. Bad habit.

But this one was one of the more productive doom scroll sessions.

A reel featuring Matt Damon sharing a story about Tom Cruise made me stop and think - not just about adrenaline junkies or movie stars who are , but about us. About the choices we make, the fears we face, and how we respond to the uncertainty that life throws at us.

In the reel, Damon recounted how Cruise told him about the time he was planning that jaw-dropping stunt on the Burj Khalifa for Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol. You know the one - where Cruise is literally sprinting on the outside of the world’s tallest building, no green screens in sight.

Cruise explained that during planning, the original safety guy said, “You can’t do that. That’s too dangerous.”

So, what did Cruise do?

He fired him.

Not because he didn’t care about safety.

Quite the opposite.

Cruise then delivered the most Tom Cruise line ever: “I went, ‘Get me a new safety guy.’” And he did. One who didn’t say, “That can’t be done,” but instead said, “Okay, let’s figure out how we can do this… safely.”

It’s hilarious in a way. Such an over-the-top action-hero response.

Yet, there’s also something deeply instructive here. And it’s not just about doing death-defying stunts.

Fear never disappears. But it doesn’t have to win.

Starting a new job. Moving house. Committing to a relationship. Launching a new business. Pitching a campaign. Leading a room full of people while silently wrestling with imposter syndrome.

Fear is baked into all of it.

It doesn’t matter how successful or seasoned you are. The fear never really goes away.

But here’s the kicker: Tom Cruise isn’t fearless.

Matt Damon makes that clear. Cruise simply isn’t afraid of being afraid.

That sounds like a contradiction. But it’s actually a mindset shift that can change the way we approach everything in life.

The psychology of fear and why it feels so overwhelming

Psychologists talk about the fear of fear, also known as "anticipatory anxiety". It’s when we’re not just afraid of an outcome, but of the feeling itself. We spiral before anything even happens.

We think:

• “What if I fail?”
• “What if I’m not good enough?”
• “What if I get found out?”

This type of fear loops in the amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for processing threats. But more importantly, it hijacks our ability to think clearly, plan rationally, or take action.

It paralyses.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Susan Jeffers famously wrote:

“Feel the fear and do it anyway.” That’s what Cruise is doing, acknowledging fear without giving it control.

Detachment: you are not your fear.

One of the most powerful things you can do in both your personal and professional life is to practise cognitive defusion, a technique from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). It teaches us to step back from our thoughts and see them as just that: thoughts, not truths.

The same goes for fear.

You might feel fear, but you are not defined by it. Fear is information. It tells you something matters.

But it doesn’t get to decide your next move. You do.

Cruise knew what was at stake. He felt the fear. But he chose to separate the presence of fear from the value of the mission. And that’s the difference between reaching the top (or jumping off it, in his case) and staying stuck on the ground.

So what will you do next time you're facing fear?

We’re not all hanging from skyscrapers (thankfully). But we’re making big, bold decisions every day.

Choosing growth over comfort. Responsibility over retreat. Courage over control.

So next time fear shows up - and it will - ask yourself:

Am I letting the fear stop me? Or am I just hiring the wrong safety guy?

Fear might be present, but it doesn’t mean the task is impossible. Sometimes, it just means you need to change the voices you're listening to, shift your perspective, or surround yourself with people who solve problems rather than stop at them.

Maybe it’s time to stop negotiating with fear, and start acting in spite of it.