Activating your EQ

BY: Steve VanValin of CulturologyUSA.com

The evidence is overwhelming that EQ (Emotional Intelligence) is the most sought-after leadership characteristic, and an essential trait for leading effectively in the long-term. If you have high EQ, it will be a difference-maker in your success. 

Here’s some great news.  EQ has the capacity to grow over a lifetime. This may be one of the many good reasons we often seek the wise counsel of our most senior leaders, parents and grandparents.  They have built a foundation of an emotional healthy perspective grounded in time and experience. 

Where does that leave us - today? What can we do to activate and grow our EQ at an accelerated rate? Many of us intuitive know EQ is so valuable, and yet struggle to gain a greater level NOW. We don’t want to wait until we become that wise ole veteran when we need it so often for the specific challenges we face today.

EQ is activated and grown by first increasing awareness. Awareness provides better choices on the way we manage both our self and others. This graphic adapted by Daniel Goleman of the Harvard Business School depicts the 4 dimensions within the 2 capacities of EQ.  

Increased awareness can come from a number of sources including; direct experience, formal education, books, class room learning, webinars, performance reviews, 360’s, personality assessments such as MBTI, DISC, and Strength-Finders, spiritual study, and coaching and feedback. Of all of these, only one has an immediate and specific payoff that you have direct control over in the workplace. It’s receiving coaching and feedback. 

If the goal is to activate your EQ through valuable candid coaching and feedback, then what’s your best way to guarantee you receive it? You must ask for it! 

Don’t assume others feel comfortable coming to you to give coaching and feedback even if you’ve given them "carte-blanch permission". It’s only human for them to hold back. Help them overcome a perception they’ll hurt your feelings, or you’ll judge them for judging you. 

Your effect "asking" strategy sounds-like this:

·       Be Specific –

• "How might I be more effective running the weekly status meeting, so others feel included and want to contribute?"
• “Will you give me feedback on the tone I create within the sales team at the upcoming townhall?”
• “When I give performance reviews, do I dwell too much on the negative items, or harp on the details?”

·       Be Curious –

• "What's your opinion on how I might be more influential in the key budget decision taking place next week?"
• “What might I do to get a higher level of buy-in when I announce the upcoming branding initiative?”
• “How am I coming across to others with my attitude when I discuss the sensitive issues on our new flex-time policy?”

·       Be Grateful –            

• "Thank you for sharing your valuable feedback with me. How might I be a help to you?"
• “When you shared your thoughts with me about my energy level during the client meeting, it meant a lot to me. It will help me adjust and get better the next time.”
• “I’m grateful you care enough to give me the candid feedback on my blind spots.”

Your ability to increase EQ awareness and add powerful choices to act upon is just one good question away. Ask others with open-minded curiosity and receive their feedback with grateful sincerity. Coaching and feedback is the EQ gift that keeps on giving, but only if you ask for it, and receive it with gratitude. 

Steve VanValin, CEO of Culturology

Steve@culturologyUSA.com

484-364-1171

Subscribe to free Culture Catalyst blog: http://culturologyworks.com/catalyst.html