Most careers are built on borrowed desires. No wonder they collapse. Traditional career coaching often skips over the real problem: we don’t always want what we think we want. Our choices get shaped by mimetic desire - the pull to copy what looks successful in others. And social media has supercharged it. Instead of a few role models, we now scroll through thousands of “success stories.” Each one tempts us to copy their path. ⸻ That’s what happened to Sarah. In ten years she jumped from Brand Marketing → Project Management → Product Management → Business Development. On paper, it looked like progress. But when she stopped to reflect, she realised none of it added up to a meaningful career. Why? Each move came from 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛 desires - surface wants borrowed from others. She saw marketers at fairs, admired how they looked and talked, noticed their glamorous posts from industry events. So she followed that pull. Then the same thing happened with project managers. Then product managers. The reality never matched the image. ⸻ When we worked together, we traced her story back to moments when she had felt most alive. The work she loved as a child. The causes she cared about deeply. The talents that came naturally. From there, 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑐𝑘 desires emerged - wants that come from conviction, not comparison. We built Odyssey Plans for the next five years. Her new direction connected her sustainability values with her love for networking. For the first time, she felt excited about a path that was truly hers. ⸻ Here’s a simple way to start uncovering your thick desires: • Create space - no phone, no noise, just room to think. • Write down 3-5 times in your life you felt deeply engaged or fulfilled. • Look for the pattern. The clues to thick desire live in those stories. ——— 💬 Where have you caught yourself chasing those "thin" desires in the past?
💡Have you recognised any mimetic desires in your life that didn't really serve you? Were you able to let go of them?
Luke Burgis' book is worth reading on this - His personal experience with escaping mimetic desires & taking time for philosophy to sharpen his reflection & antenna for truth is enlighteninghttps://www.amazon.co.uk/Wanting-Mimetic-Desire-Chasing-Fathers/dp/1800750641/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&dib_tag=se&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.hEKsLGolES-gc2isJrVy7fCOXsVlR-p0YOiJwjwTzTrlDQHpKQn5tKVz5XR7TA4HwJq8X4xFOzzpMo5RNQVasw.cZL0zm2w3SKhU8Y3We2M0t-jt_4DE4CN3wZHLMy_Rgc&qid=1779877722&sr=8-1
As if we need more distractions eh? More than thin vs thick, it seems like people perform better and longer when there's a sense of ownership and real stakes. Harder to care when you don't have a real dog in the fight right?
It's so easy to get wrapped up in visible, external signs of 'success'. They're easy to track, to spot, to build a formula for. And they seem louder than the internal signs don't they? Yet working from a grounded center truly does create so much meaning
I reckon the percentage of people who genuinely know what they want... less than 2%.
💡Think back to when we were younger - there were always Mimetic desires - but nothing like Social Media generates today. I might have been a junior Diehard & wanted to be like Bruce Willis - but those external models were so far away & we only had glimpses of who they were. The internal models (people we know & interact with) were limited as well. Today you get a daily inside deep dive into the lives and successes of internal/external and everything in between - the fact that a lot of that picture isn't even real doesn't help when our brain locks on to something. That's why reflection, reconnection & self-awareness are so crucial.