How to Transform Perception Through Self-Improvement

Changing ingrained behaviors and habits is hard. Changing your reputation after you’ve made those changes is even harder. People are still walking around with the old version of you in their heads, and frankly, they’re not paying close enough attention to notice you’ve leveled up. You’ve done the internal work and broken the patterns but your colleagues are still expecting the person who used to scramble at deadlines or avoid difficult conversations or whatever your old thing was. Your reputation is basically everyone else’s highlight (lowlight?) reel of your past mistakes and quirks, and they’re not exactly rushing to update their mental files. The tricky part is that you can’t just announce “Hey everyone, I’m different now!” and expect people to believe you. They need to see it, experience it, and have enough new data points that they can’t ignore the shift. Most of us get frustrated because we expect our transformed habits to immediately translate into different treatment and opportunities. But reputation change is slow, then fast. You need to stack enough evidence that people have no choice but to update their assumptions about who you are. Here are five ways to speed up the process without feeling like you’re bragging about your personal growth journey: 1. Tell specific stories, not vague transformation tales. Instead of saying “I’ve gotten better at time management,” share the story about how you restructured that chaotic project timeline and actually delivered early. Give people concrete evidence they can remember. 2. Go where nobody knows your old reputation. Volunteer for a cross-departmental initiative or join the committee where people haven’t witnessed your previous patterns. These become your reputation reset opportunities where you can show up as your new self from day one. 3. Have the awkward conversation with key people. Seriously, just tell your boss or closest collaborators that you’ve been working on specific changes and ask them to call you out if they see old patterns creeping back in. Yes, it’s vulnerable but it fast-tracks their awareness of your evolution. 4. Ask for feedback like early and often. Check in regularly with people whose opinions matter and ask what they’re noticing about how you’re showing up differently. This keeps your transformation visible and gives you intel on where the old reputation might still be sticking. 5. Play the long game without losing momentum. Your new habits need time to become your new reputation, just like it took time for your old reputation to solidify. Keep being consistent because eventually, the new pattern becomes so obvious that people forget you were ever any other way. #coaching #leadership #feedback

Are your communication habits costing you influence and connection at work? One of my clients was technically brilliant and delivered great results. But she struggled with something that was holding her back from her full potential. Getting affected by other people's moods meant her own mood would dampen. Miscommunication led to misunderstandings and wasted time within her team.  Feeling insecure, made her act distant and unable to make real connections with colleagues. From a CEO's perspective, this looked like someone with limited executive presence who might not be ready for greater responsibility. Someone who creates confusion rather than clarity. Someone who might struggle with clients, stakeholders, or high-pressure situations. She could see exactly how this was limiting her career growth, but felt completely stuck on how to change these deeply ingrained patterns. If this resonates with you, here’s how to start your own transformation: First, create the foundation through self-awareness and self-management: 1. Get honest about what truly motivates you. Ask yourself: "What actually gets me out of bed excited?" "What drains my energy?" “What’s important to me?” Owning your authentic drivers helps you perform better but also show up more genuinely. 2. Know your limiting beliefs and emotional reactions. Pay attention to that voice in your head during conversations. Is it criticizing, second-guessing, or creating stories? Quieten that voice down (simply tell it to shut the f*%k up), then focus your attention on the conversation. Next, build better communication skills on that foundation using curiosity: 3. Get curious about their perspective. Instead of preparing your response while they speak, ask yourself: "What's behind their opinion? What experiences might have shaped this view?" This shift helps you truly listen rather than just wait for your turn to talk. 4. Get curious about what might be at play. Look beyond the surface conversation and wonder: "What pressures might they be under? What's driving this reaction?" This helps you respond to the real issue, not just the words being said. 5. Get curious about the person in front of you. Notice their energy, body language, and tone. Ask yourself: "What do they need right now? How are they really feeling?" This genuine interest in them as a person creates deeper connection and trust.   Back to my client: The breakthrough came when she stopped fighting who she was and started embracing it. Today, she's more relaxed, sets clear boundaries, communicates directly, and tunes into others' needs effectively. The result? Meetings that used to drag on with confusion now end with clarity and positive momentum. Her team respects her more. And leadership now sees her as someone ready for bigger challenges. What tips do you have for more effective communication? ***** Hi, I’m Ilse. I support ambitious and sensitive senior female leaders who are tired of getting into their own way. 📆 20/8/25

Growing up as the child of divorced parents, I unconsciously adopted the roles of peacekeeper and people-pleaser. These roles shaped my thoughts, actions, and behaviors in ways I didn't fully comprehend—often not to my benefit. As growth-minded professionals, we can greatly benefit from external input to identify areas for development and increased self-awareness. One framework I've found particularly insightful to approach this is the Johari Window: This 4-quadrant model helps us comprehend what we know and don't know about ourselves, leading to improved personal and professional outcomes: 1) Arena: What you and others know about you 2) Blind Spot: What others know about you, but you're unaware of 3) Facade (The Vault): What you know about yourself but keep hidden 4) Unknown: What neither you nor others know about you Research shows that as the Arena expands and other quadrants shrink, outcomes improve. So, how can we intentionally enlarge our Arena? Here are 3 strategies: You can expand your Arena by actively seeking, listening to, and acting upon feedback. This enhances self-awareness and reduces your Blind Spot. Minimize your Facade by sharing more about your values, perspectives, and experiences. This builds rapport and trust in your interactions. Tackle the Unknown through self-reflection and professional help like therapy. Explore the root causes behind behaviors highlighted in feedback. Reflecting on my own journey... I realized through feedback and therapy that my conflict-avoidance stemmed from those assumed childhood roles. By identifying this as a blind spot, I began working on embracing productive conflict in professional settings and practicing assertive communication. This journey has been challenging but transformative, allowing for healthier, more productive interactions. The path to self-discovery is ongoing, but the Johari Window has been an invaluable guide in enhancing my self-awareness, both personally and professionally. I encourage you to explore this tool for your own growth! What other frameworks have you found useful in your personal development journey? Share your experiences in the comments below.

A client of mine came to me frustrated about being passed over for promotions. He believed external factors were holding him back, but through coaching, we uncovered patterns in his behavior—like anti-authoritarian tendencies—that were affecting how he showed up at work. By shifting his focus inward, Bob created a personal manifesto with positive "I am" statements, such as: "I am someone you can count on." "I work hard for meaningful goals." This helped him align with his best self, improve his workplace presence, and ultimately earn the promotion he wanted. The process also gave him clarity and confidence, ending his constant internal debate about whether to stay or leave. The lesson? Focusing on who you want to be can transform how others see you—and how you see yourself.

Your competence at work is judged in seconds. Even when you over-deliver, you can be underestimated. Every day, false assumptions about you are made: — Polite = Weak — Older = Not agile — A foreign accent = Less capable — Introverted =  Not a strong leader — Woman =  Softer voice, less authority It's not just unfair. It's exhausting. So the question is: How do you beat biases without changing who you are? Here’s what I recommend: 𝟭. 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗻𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 → Speak about impact, not effort. → Articulate your value proposition. →“Here’s the problems I solve. Here's how. Here’s the result."  If no one knows what you bring to the table, they won’t invite you to it. 𝟮. 𝗩𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗶𝘀 𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 Silent excellence is wasted potential. → Speak up when it feels risky. → Build real not just strategic relationships. → Share insights where people are paying attention. You don’t need to be loud. You need to be seen. 𝟯. 𝗧𝘂𝗿𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻��𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘀 The traits that trigger assumptions? Those are your edge. → Introverted? That’s deep listening. → Accent? That’s global perspective. Don’t flatten yourself to fit. Distinguish yourself to lead. 𝟰. 𝗢𝘄𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 → Say “I recommend” not "I think.” → Hold eye contact. Take up space. → Act like your presence belongs (even when others haven’t caught up.) Confidence isn’t volume. It’s grounding. Bias is everywhere. But perception can be changed. Don't let other people's false assumptions define you. Do you agree? ➕ Follow Deena Priest for strategic career insights. 📌Join my newsletter to build a career grounded in progress, peace and pay.

Do you ever catch yourself feeling like you’re always lagging behind, wondering why you’re not further along in your career? I've been there too. Reflecting on my early career, I used to see myself as an underdog, focusing too much on my perceived shortcomings, which left me feeling stuck in a cycle of self-doubt. I want to share a transformative shift that has greatly impacted my life: moving from ‘why’ questions to ‘what’ questions. Instead of dwelling on, ‘Why can’t I get this right?’ try asking, ‘What about this needs to change?’ Replace ‘Why does this always happen to me?’ with ‘What can I learn from this experience?’ And instead of lamenting, ‘Why do I have the worst luck?’ consider, ‘What can I do to turn this around?’  It's a small adjustment that shifts you from passive to active. Share in the comments how you break free from that mindset.