Setting Expectations with Team Members

I was sitting in on a performance review when the manager said, "You're not meeting expectations." The employee's 8-word response stopped the room cold. He didn't get defensive. He just looked up and said: "I know. Can you tell me what they are?" In that moment, I realized the company had failed, not him. Leaders assume clarity when there is often confusion. The brutal truth: 𝗨𝗻𝗰𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗮 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗳𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘂𝗿𝗲, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗮𝗻 𝗲𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗼𝘆𝗲𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗲. If your team members are missing the mark, don't ask "What's wrong with them?" Ask, "What did we fail to make clear?" My solution is the 𝗖𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗥 𝗠𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗱: 𝗖 - 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗰𝗿𝗲𝘁𝗲: Define exactly what "good" looks like. No vague terms. 𝗟 - 𝗟𝗶𝗻𝗸𝗲𝗱: Connect their daily work to the bigger company goals. 𝗘 - 𝗘𝘅𝗮𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲𝘀: Show them a finished product or report that nailed it. 𝗔 - 𝗔𝗴𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗱: Ask them to repeat the expectations back to you to confirm. 𝗥 - 𝗥𝗲𝘃𝗶𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗱: Check in weekly. Don't wait three months for a formal review. That employee? Once we implemented CLEAR, he became a top performer. The problem was never his ability. It was their communication system. Have you ever had a major gap between what you thought you communicated and what your team actually heard? #PerformanceManagement #Leadership #Communication #ManagementTips

Regularly, when a manager is frustrated with the performance of someone on their team, it turns out that the person didn't know what was expected of them or didn't feel they had permission to lead. For example, they may have the title of “head of events,” but does that mean they recommend or even decide which events we're going to, or do you (the manager) decide, and they execute? Or worse, are you telling them they have the authority to make decisions and move things forward but then second-guessing everything they do? How can they know what's expected of them if you say one thing and do another? Expectations and role clarity are cousins, but they are not the same. Role clarity is basically the “what” in a job — do you know what you are directly responsible for, and does it align with what others think you own? — and expectations are closer to the “how” — are you leading, supporting, deciding, driving, executing? What does your manager expect of you versus what are you doing? Clear expectation setting is all about clear delegation. Does the person know - What they own - At what level they own it - Who needs to participate, approve, etc - And on what timeline? Usually if something isn't working or someone is missing expectations, it's actually because one of those bullets above is unclear. As a manager, if there are parts of your team where you regularly feel frustrated or like things are moving too slowly, ask yourself if people really know what you expect of them. Did you make your expectations clear, including what they own, the timeline, and the definition of high quality? Sometimes, it turns out you just delegated a little too loosely — e.g., they know they own the project but didn't understand the urgency. But often, it turns out that what you expect of them and what they think they should be doing are just different, and you need to re-set. It is always fine to take some 1:1 time to say, “Just to revisit, I'm expecting XX and YY from you, and I'm also expecting you to ask for support if you need it. Does that match up with what you understand?” If they agree to the expectations, you have permission to return and ask, for example, “OK, then why are things moving so slowly, etc.? How can I help unblock you?” Also, it is normal for expectations to evolve, particularly in a fast-growing company. Everyone is learning together. The most important thing is to acknowledge that the expectations have changed openly. It is fine for expectations to change and evolve, but only if you communicate about it with the person. 

We assume our managers know everything we’re doing and the value we’re creating. They don’t. Years ago, I faced a challenge with a department that consistently missed deliverables. The frustration was building on both sides—they felt overwhelmed by competing priorities, and we felt let down by promises unfulfilled. That’s when I developed what I call “Three-Point Landings” - a simple but powerful approach to cross-functional collaboration: 1. WHAT are you going to deliver? 2. HOW are you going to deliver it? 3. WHEN will it be delivered? It sounds basic, but I’ve found that most breakdowns in trust happen not because people don’t want to deliver, but because expectations were assumed rather than explicitly stated. With one particularly challenged IT department, we got to the point where we would actually write these three points on paper and have their leader sign it. When deliverables were met, we’d celebrate by posting them above their office door with a “Way to Go” sign. When expectations weren’t met, the rule was simple: come back and renegotiate before the deadline. This approach transformed our working relationship, created accountability, and built trust between departments—which is really important when navigating matrix environments. I’ve since used it with finance teams, marketing partners, and even in conversations with my own leaders. The next time you’re collaborating across departments, try this approach. You might be surprised how something so simple can be so transformative. #Leadership #CrossFunctionalTeams #ExpectationSetting #TransformativeLeadership

For years, I struggled with this: How do you set high expectations while staying approachable and supportive? I thought you had to choose. But you don’t. Here’s the framework I use to balance both: Technique #1: Set CLEAR expectations Ambiguity kills performance. 1.  Be upfront about what’s expected—no guesswork. 2.  Explain why the work matters—context inspires effort. 3.  Make success measurable—what does “good” look like? When people know exactly what’s needed, it’s easier to aim high without feeling lost or pressured. Technique #2: Be CONSISTENT How it works: 1. Hold everyone (including yourself) to the same standard. 2. Lead by example—don’t ask for more than you’re willing to give. 3. Show up the same way, every time—fairness builds trust. Consistency keeps expectations grounded and prevents resentment from creeping in. Technique #3: Focus on GROWTH, Not Just RESULTS Every project is a stepping stone to something bigger—for them and the team. 1. Frame every challenge as a chance to learn. 2. Remind your team how today’s work builds tomorrow’s opportunities. 3. Connect their goals to the bigger picture. This shifts the focus from just delivering to actually growing—and that’s where real motivation happens. Technique #4: Lead with EMPATHY Tough feedback doesn’t have to feel like an attack. 1. Be honest but kind during tough conversations. 2. Show them you believe in their ability to do better. 3. Demonstrate what great execution looks like—they’ll learn by seeing. Empathy doesn’t soften high standards; it makes them achievable. Technique #5: Celebrate WINS A simple “well done” can go a long way. 1. Call out great work—publicly and privately. 2. Celebrate milestones, no matter how small. 3. Show appreciation regularly—it matters. I’m still working on this myself, but I know people perform better when they feel valued. 💡 TL;DR → You don’t have to pick between being “nice” or being “demanding.” → You can set the bar high and lift people up while they climb. → You can be both. And when you get the balance right, your team will surprise you. How do you balance high expectations with support?👇 Drop your thoughts—I’d love to learn from you. #leadership #growthmindset #teammotivation #peoplemanagement #startup

Accountability is a sign you care about your team members. When I was a first time manager, I felt unsure how to balance maintaining high standards for projects and giving feedback to team members about meeting expectations. The truth is: I wanted to be liked. So I stepped in to fix things instead of giving feedback—solving problems, rewriting final briefings, and rescuing them from deadlines (though I added more of them for myself). It took time to reframe what I now hold true: Accountability isn’t the opposite of compassion. It *is* compassion. Now in coaching and advising higher ed advancement leaders, I hear similar worries: What if they don’t like me? What if I push too hard? What if they’re already overwhelmed? I remind leaders these are valid concerns and also signs you care. Here’s what it looks like to lead with both clarity and compassion: ✅ Set clear expectations ✅ Provide the tools and resources your team needs to succeed ✅ Coach them through growth and challenge ✅ Believe in their abilities ✅ Give clear, specific, actionable feedback—because you care enough to help your team grow Leaders who hold their teams accountable build trust, culture, capacity—and stronger organizations. In university advancement, where the work is deeply human, we need leaders who do both: care deeply and lead boldly. If you’re navigating this balance right now with your team—or your managers are—let’s connect on how we can support you.

Leadership Blindspot: Do your high standards push your team to greatness, or do they paralyze them with fear of failure? As leaders, we often equate high expectations with driving success. But what if those expectations are creating more harm than good? Research reveals that nearly 35% of executives fail due to a perfectionist mindset. When standards are unattainably high, they can backfire in unexpected ways: 1️⃣ Loss of Team Confidence: Overly ambitious benchmarks can make team members feel inadequate, leading them to second-guess themselves—or worse, stop trying altogether. 2️⃣ Chronic Leader Dissatisfaction: Perfectionism often turns inward, robbing leaders of joy and professional satisfaction. 3️⃣ Weakened Resilience: A constantly criticized team struggles to bounce back from setbacks, impacting creativity and resourcefulness. But there’s hope. Here’s how to lead with high standards without harming your team: ✔ Harness Discontent Strategically: Use dissatisfaction sparingly to inspire improvement rather than demoralize. ✔ Value the Individual: Regularly affirm what you appreciate about each team member. ✔ Reevaluate Expectations: Ask yourself if your standards are clear, fair, and achievable. ✔ Embrace Self-Forgiveness: Loosen your own internal pressures to model healthy growth for your team. Great leadership isn’t about pushing people to the breaking point. It’s about unlocking their full potential without breaking their spirit. Have you experienced the unintended consequences of high expectations—either as a leader or team member? Share your perspective in the comments below! Source: HBR - Ron Carucci #leadership #renergetics #consultant #consulting #publicspeaking

𝐃𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠? I hear this often from new managers as much as from experienced ones. Sometimes, these managers have inherited their teams but they have often been part of candidate selection. I find them ruing – If only my team did what I told them!! 𝐈𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬, 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 – 🔹Defining what each role holder should be able to accomplish within a reasonable period post-hiring. 🔹Confirming that the team understands expectations as you intend them. 🔹Ensuring feedback and the next steps are understood. 🔹Combining feedback with support. 🔹Doing difficult conversations on time. 🔹Taking active steps to manage performance when feedback does not work. No surprise, the struggle continues. 𝐔𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞, 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐛𝐲 - 🔹Trying to fix underperformance with micromanagement. 🔹Believing that active performance management equals the infamous 'performance improvement plan' which is just a precursor to exiting the employee out of the system. 🔹Living with underperformance because doing something about it is more challenging. 𝐀𝐬 𝐚 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐫, 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐦/𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐳𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐈𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 - 🎯 The team is made up of the right people. 🎯 Team members are assigned roles they are equipped to do. 🎯 The team understands common goals. 🎯 Everyone on the team knows what success in their role looks like. 🎯 Team members know what they must do to achieve their goals, including behavioral requirements. 🎯 The team is motivated to do their role. 🎯 Every member gets specific feedback in time. 🎯 Each team member knows their developmental goals and what support they will get. 🎯 The team's performance is managed actively.  🎯 Celebrating progress is a part of the culture of the team. Which of these 10 steps do you think you may be missing? What is your default behavior when you are under pressure? If you are in a situation like this, begin by not assuming that conversation has happened. Always confirm understanding with your team members. 𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐚𝐬𝐤: Are you clear? 𝐀𝐬𝐤 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐝: What have you understood? 𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐚𝐬𝐤: Do you need any support? 𝐀𝐬𝐤 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐝: How can I support you? This change will bring you and your team on the same page and lay the foundation for further progress. Do share your experience. I would love to know your wins and challenges.

Expectations create future resentment. I’ve been saying this for years, and it still catches people off guard. Leaders walk into Q1 with goals. Revenue targets. Growth plans. Performance metrics. All necessary. But somewhere along the way, goals turn into expectations. And expectations have a way of becoming demands that were never actually discussed. The difference matters. A goal is something we build toward together. An expectation is something one person holds that another person may not even know about. When leaders set expectations without alignment, they’re planting seeds for frustration on both sides. The team feels like they’re failing at something they never agreed to. The leader feels let down by people who “should have known.” Nobody wins. The fix isn’t lower standards. It’s clearer conversation. What does success actually look like this quarter? Have you said it out loud? Has your team had a chance to push back, ask questions, or shape the outcome with you? Alignment takes longer on the front end. But it saves you from resentment, turnover, and the slow erosion of trust that happens when people feel set up to fail. This year, before you set expectations for your team, ask yourself whether you’ve actually created alignment. Or whether you’re just hoping they’ll figure it out. Goals together. Not expectations in silence.

Most teams have unspoken rules. The best teams write them down. Many teams operate under vague assumptions about how they should work together. They assume everyone shares the same expectations. But assumptions breed confusion. And confusion breeds conflict. The solution is clarity. A Team Charter is a written agreement on why we exist as a team, what we value most, and how we'll live out those values through daily actions. In other words, our purpose, our values, and our norms. This was the focus of our sixth and final session of the Optimizing High-Performance Teams program with Andrea Albright and the Walmart International Growth Team. We've covered psychological safety, empathy, feedback, difficult conversations, and collective personality. Session 6 brought it all together. First, we tackled Purpose. We all know Walmart's purpose. Walmart exists to help people save money and live better. The question for the growth team was: What is your specific contribution to that purpose? “We exist to ______ so Walmart can help people save money and live better.” Next came Values, the qualities necessary to live out our purpose. All teams at Walmart share the same core RISE values (Respect, Integrity, Service, Excellence). But each team also has its own micro-culture defined by values that are unique to them. So we spent time discussing and identifying the additional values beyond RISE that are at our core and therefore warrant a spot in our charter. Then we integrated the individual team members. Teammates shared their personal "User Manuals" from the previous session. Everyone shared their personality scores, their strengths, weaknesses, stress response, tips for communicating and collaborating with them, and specific growth challenges they’re working on. The goal was to surface patterns and raw material for the final piece of the Team Charter. That final piece was Team Norms. Values are what we believe. Norms are what we do to bring those values to life through daily action. The team built specific expectations around psychological safety, empathy, relationship-building, delivering (and receiving) constructive feedback, difficult conversations, managing conflict, communicating, collaborating, holding one another accountable, making decisions, and celebrating wins. The big takeaway from this session is that a Team Charter is one of the best psychological safety tools we have. Clarity creates safety. When expectations are written down and agreed upon, difficult conversations become easier. You're not attacking a person. You're pointing to a document that we all co-created. Doug McMillon once said, "I believe if we continue to be inspired by our purpose and authentically live our values, we will make a positive difference in the world for a long time to come." This is exactly what building a Team Charter is about. #TeamCharter #Leadership #HighPerformanceTeams #PsychologicalSafety #Purpose #Values #Norms

I've learned one universal truth: everyone has performance ups and downs. The best leaders? They don't wait for a full-blown crisis. They spot the early signs and have those crucial conversations before things spiral. Here's my framework for helping a team member get back on track: 1. The "What's Up?" Chat (Week 1-2)   • Leader: Set up a casual one-on-one. Listen more than you talk.   • Team Member: Be honest about what's not working. It's okay to admit struggles.    Tip: Use open-ended questions like "What's your biggest challenge right now?" Consider having this chat outside your office - grabbing a coffee can change the dynamic. 2. Game Plan (Week 3-4)   • Leader: Work together to set clear, doable goals. Reset expectations as needed. Be specific about what needs to change.   • Team Member: Speak up about what you need to succeed. Own your part in the plan.   Tip: Break larger goals into weekly tasks. Stretch the team member but don't break them. 3. Support and Resources (Ongoing)   • Leader: Connect them with a mentor. Provide the tools they need.   • Team Member: Use these resources. Ask for help when you need it.   Tip: Consider personality assessments to identify strengths and growth areas. 4. Regular Check-Ins   • Leader: Regular catch-ups. Give honest feedback – good and bad.   • Team Member: Come prepared. Be open to feedback and ready to adjust.   Tip: Use the "situation-behavior-impact" model, and ask, "What would you do differently next time?" It promotes problem-solving, not just reflection. 5. One Month In: Quick temperature check • Discuss what is working and what additional resources or support is needed. 6. Three Months In: Bigger picture review • Discuss overall progress and expectations where performance has improved. 7. Six Month Milestone: Decision time   • If performance is better: Celebrate and plan next steps   • If not: Have an honest talk about whether this role is the right fit Remember: 🔸 Keep talking. Silence doesn't help anyone. 🔸 Leaders guide, but team members drive their own improvement. 🔸 Write stuff down – it keeps everyone on the same page. 🔸 We're all human. Patience and fairness go a long way. Watch out for inflated progress reporting. Stay engaged to see real progress. Look for tangible results, not just promises. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But giving someone a fair shot to turn things around? That's good leadership. Leaders – ever helped someone bounce back? What worked? How did you ensure genuine progress? Share below!