How to Address DEI Pushback Constructively

If #diversity, #equity, and #inclusion practitioners want to get ahead of anti-DEI backlash, we have to address an elephant in the room: no two people in the same workplace perceive their workplace the same way. I see this every time I work with client organizations. When asked to describe their own experience with the workplace and its DEI strengths and challenges, I hear things like: 😊 "I've never experienced any discrimination or mistreatment; our leaders' commitment is strong." 🤨 "I had a good time in one department, but after transferring departments I started experiencing explicit ableist comments under my new manager." 🙁 "I've never had anything egregious happen, but I've always felt less respected by my team members because of my race." Who's right? Turns out, all of them. It starts to get messy because everyone inevitably generalizes their own personal experiences into their perception of the workplace as a whole; three people might accordingly describe their workplace as a "meritocracy without discrimination," an "inconsistently inclusive workplace dependent on manager," or "a subtly racist environment." And when people are confronted with other experiences of the workplace that DIFFER from their own, they often take it personally. I've seen leaders bristle at the implication that their own experience was "wrong," or get defensive in expectation they will be accused of lacking awareness. It's exactly this defensiveness that lays the foundation for misunderstanding, polarization, and yes—anti-DEI misinformation—to spread in an organization. How do we mitigate it? In my own work, I've found that these simple steps go a long way. 1. Validate everyone's experience. Saying outright that everyone's personal experience is "correct" for themselves might seem too obvious, but it plays a powerful role in helping everyone feel respected and taken seriously. Reality is not a question of "who is right"—it's the messy summation of everyone's lived experience, good or bad. 2. Use data to create a shared baseline. Gathering data by organizational and social demographics allows us to make statements like, "the average perception of team respect is 70% in Engineering, but only 30% in Sales," or "perception of fair decision making processes is 90% for white men, but only 40% for Black women." This establishes a shared reality, a baseline for any effective DEI work. 3. Make it clear that problem-solving involves—and requires—everyone. The goal of DEI work is to achieve positive outcomes for everyone. Those with already positive experiences? Their insights help us know what we're aiming for. Those with the most negative? Their insights help us learn what's broken. The more we communicate that collective effort benefits the collective, rather than shaming or dismissing those at the margins, the more we can unite people around DEI and beat the backlash.

One uncomfortable mistake I see us make in DEI and #leadership work – myself included – is assuming shared intent. We often start conversations about #InclusiveLeadership as if everyone already agrees it's the "right" way to lead, and that exclusionary or coercive behaviours only show up accidentally: out of habit, #UnconsciousBias, or lack of awareness or of time to think twice. A recent Forbes article by Mary Crossan helped me name why that assumption is fragile. The uncomfortable truth is this: some leaders have been rewarded – repeatedly – for behaviours we'd label "dark-side." Control, pressure, fear, silencing dissent. In many contexts, those behaviours work in the short term. They deliver speed, clarity, results. And organisations keep reinforcing them. If we ignore that reality, we risk talking past the very people we're trying to engage. Bright-side leadership (authentic, fair, inclusive, empathetic) isn't self-evidently better to everyone – especially in environments that prize quarterly outcomes, certainty, and dominance. When DEI work starts from the assumption that leaders are already, at least in terms of intent, "on the bright side," it can feel naïve, moralising, or disconnected from their lived experience. This doesn't mean we should legitimise harm. But it does mean we should diagnose before prescribing. A few shifts I'm trying to hold more consciously: 1️⃣ Test for beliefs, not just behaviours. Before advocating inclusion, get curious about what leaders genuinely believe has made them successful so far – and what trade-offs they're already living with. 2️⃣ Name the short-term payoff honestly. If dark-side behaviours deliver speed or control, acknowledge that – and then explore the long-term costs they create (burnout, poor judgment, ethical drift). 3️⃣ Work with context, not against it. Inclusive leadership thrives in high-integrity environments. If the system rewards fear or heroics, individual behaviour change alone will struggle. 4️⃣ Reframe #inclusion as judgement, not niceness. This isn't about being "good", but about sustaining sound decisions when pressure, urgency, and power distort our perception the most. 5️⃣ Slow down the certainty. When leaders are over-rewarded for confidence and decisiveness, inclusion can sound like hesitation. Position it as a way to see more, not decide less. For me, this article was a reminder that DEI work isn't about assuming moral alignment – it's about meeting people where they are, understanding what has shaped them, and then carefully expanding what they believe is possible. Inclusive leadership is far from obvious. It has to be made compelling – in context, in practice, and over time. 💬 And that got me curious: where else have you noticed we at times assume alignment that isn't actually there? 🔗 Link in the comments.

Recently, a newsletter subscriber told me that she’s seeing a softening of some allyship support as people become exhausted with being corrected. She observed, “Some of our employees take a very in-your-face approach to DEI, stopping people mid-sentence to correct their language or calling their attendance at ERG events ‘performative.’” She added, “When faced with this type of feedback, I see good people with big, open hearts who want to learn more & grow, becoming like turtles retreating into their shell & deciding that they’ll just ‘come to work and work,’ not do this DEI stuff.” I don’t want anyone to step back from this vital work of allyship. In that spirit, let’s ensure that we deliver feedback on non-inclusive behavior in a way that encourages others to learn from it and motivates them to engage more in DEI. I’ll state what may be obvious here. We can give constructive feedback in private, after asking if the person is open to feedback. (If they’re in a rush or not in the right frame of mind to receive feedback, it’s better to circle back at another time.) Our goal in these conversations is to call them _into_ the discussion, not to make them feel defensive. For example, - I used to say that phrase, too, but I’ve since learned that it’s not inclusive. And I’ve shifted to this word instead. - I noticed you attended our recent ERG meeting. Could we brainstorm some ways you could help us achieve our annual goals? Do you have a favorite approach to call someone in? Leave a comment. I'd love to hear from you. — This is an excerpt from my upcoming “5 Ally Actions” newsletter. Subscribe and read the full edition at https://lnkd.in/gQiRseCb #BetterAllies #Allyship #InclusionMatters #Inclusion #Belonging #Allies 🙏

These phrases pop up in conversations like the refrain of a well-known song. Are you familiar with it? 😉 🎶 "I judge people based on their work, not their gender" "I've never heard complaints about discrimination, why fix what isn’t broken?" "I don’t think inequality exists here. We hire the best person" If I’m honest, couple of years ago I saw them as a warning sign of resistance. But I don’t see them as resistance anymore, I see them as protection. Protection of: identity, effort, a belief that "I’ve done nothing wrong" It's the trio of: 🛡 defending 🙈 denying 🧍♂️ distancing* And my job is to meet that with curiosity, not confrontation. How do I do it? In short: ✔️ I reframe it for myself: This isn't an attack, it's fear ✔️ I genuinely acknowledge that this is a perspective true for them ✔️ I open with "Would you be curious to see it from a different angle?" ✔️ I share a perspective they may not have an access to ✔️ I share a moment when I had to rethink what I thought was true If you happen to observe it as well, here is how to approach this on the organizational level👇 💬 Have you heard these phrases too? ___ 👋🏼 Hi, I’m Dora. I run inclusive leadership programs that help managers lead with empathy and cultural awareness. If you want to grow truly inclusive leaders in your organization, let’s talk! *For more in depth see HBR article “To Overcome Resistance to DEI, Understand What’s Driving It”by Eric Shuman, Eric Knowles and Amit Goldenberg.

We often hear about an "ESG backlash" or a "DEI backlash". But is that really fair? The word "backlash" implies "emotional", suggesting something knee-jerk or reactionary. And yes, some criticisms of ESG/DEI may indeed be unfounded. But, rather than immediately going on the defensive and arguing they're wrong, we should first ask whether they might be right. If so, we can use them to help us practice ESG/DEI better. I prefer "pushback" - just like in resistance training, it makes us stronger. So what kind of pushback is valid and valuable? 1️⃣ Questioning the evidence. Concerns about the link between ESG/DEI and performance help us sharpen our focus on what genuinely drives long-term value - and discard what doesn’t. 2️⃣ Challenging ineffective actions. Critiques of divestment, engagement that borders on micromanagement, and “tea-and-biscuits” engagement, help us refocus on strategies that actually move the needle. 3️⃣ Protecting shareholder value. Certain ESG/DEI initiatives don’t align with long-term returns, but are instead undertaken to boost the CEO's image. Unless shareholders have explicitly expressed a willingness to sacrifice returns, CEOs shouldn't spend other people's money on puff projects. 4️⃣ Reassessing timing and scale. Sometimes scaling back ESG/DEI is criticised as a U-turn or lack of commitment. But like any business investment, ESG exhibits diminishing returns and trade-offs. A company could be committed to international expansion, but rationally put its plans on hold due to financial pressures or tariff uncertainty - and it's the same with ESG. Being strategic - knowing when to pause, pivot, or accelerate - is not weakness; it’s wisdom. Let’s not dismiss every concern as a "backlash". Let’s listen, learn, and use the challenge to get better.

DEI leaders are facing more resistance than ever. As we all grapple with the growing uncertainty in our industry, I've spent countless hours researching the right language, fine-tuning Perfeqta’s strategies, and pivoting to help my consultant network stay ahead of the recent rollbacks. I've been in constant conversations with other professionals, putting our heads together to navigate this and continue to support our clients and organizations. I know it’s overwhelming. I’ve felt it too. Here’s where I’ve landed so far: 1. Don’t wait too long to adjust to a changing environment. Evolving is crucial, and the longer you stick to what’s comfortable, the harder it becomes to navigate shifts. 2. Stay informed on legal compliance. Keep your initiatives aligned with evolving policies. Work with legal counsel to assess any necessary adjustments while protecting your core DEI efforts. 3. It’s also Black History Month. I’m reminded that leadership has always required resilience in the face of adversity, but growth doesn’t happen when you’re running on empty. To lead others, you have to first lead yourself. 4. Get crystal clear with executive leadership Ensure that business leaders understand the long-term value of DEI. It's not just about compliance, but about performance, innovation, and engagement. 5. Adapt the language if necessary If “DEI” is facing pushback in your organization, consider reframing the language without diluting the intent. Ensure that the work continues, no matter the term used. 6. Prioritize your well-being. Leading in a polarized environment is exhausting. Set boundaries, build a support network, and take care of your mental and emotional health. This work requires us to sustain ourselves so we can continue leading with impact. Leadership today is about striking the balance between observation and action. The future of DEI may look uncertain, but the need for inclusive, equitable workplaces has not changed.