How to Build Trust by Showing Vulnerability

In which of these 2 scenarios, will a sales rep sell more blenders? a) She nails the demo, flawlessly blending a smoothie in front of potential customers b) Same exact pitch, but when she pours the smoothie, she spills it all over the table Dr. Richard Wiseman conducted this exact study. More people bought the blender when she made an absolute mess. This phenomenon is called the "other shoe effect." The underlying principle: We instinctively know people aren’t perfect. So when someone appears too polished in high-stakes moments—job interviews, pitches, first dates—part of our brain asks: “What are they hiding? When does the other shoe drop?” The longer someone appears flawless, the more suspicious we get. This creates a dangerous cycle: • You try to appear perfect in the first impression • The other person's brain gets increasingly distracted wondering about your hidden flaws • When your imperfection finally shows (and it will), it hits much harder than if you'd acknowledged it upfront I learned this the hard way. When I first wrote Captivate, I tried to sound like an academic. My editor called it out: “This doesn’t sound like you.” So I rewrote the intro to be me, very me in a vulnerable way: “Hi, I’m Vanessa. I’m a recovering awkward person.” That vulnerability built instant trust. By dropping my shoe early, I built trust immediately and let readers know they were in good company. This is also how I introduce myself in conversations, and I have noticed everyone laughs and relaxes when I say it. There are a couple situations where you can actively use this effect: • Job interviews: After sharing your strengths, say "One area I’m still growing in is public speaking—which is why this role excites me." • Investor pitches: After a strong open, confess: "One challenge we’re still working through is [X], and here’s how we’re tackling it." • Team meetings: Proactively raise project risks, then offer a solution. Don’t let others discover it first. Rules to remember: • Choose authentic vulnerabilities, not fake ones • Drop your shoe AFTER establishing competence, not before • Pair vulnerability with accountability - show how you're addressing it Remember: The goal isn't to appear perfect. It's to appear trustworthy. And trustworthy people acknowledge their imperfections before others have to discover them.

𝗜 𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗻𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝘆 𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗺 𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿. Not because I was weak. Because I was finally strong enough to be honest. We'd just lost a major client. I opened my mouth to give the practiced, confident response every leadership book says you should give. But what came out instead was the truth: "I don't know. I'm scared too." And then I cried. Right there. Completely, visibly, undeniably vulnerable. I thought I'd just destroyed every ounce of credibility I'd built over the years. But then, something extraordinary happened. The room didn't panic. They didn't start updating their resumes. Instead, they leaned in. People started offering ideas, solutions, support. 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗺𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗮𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗺𝗲 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗱 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗜 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿: Vulnerability isn't weakness. It's the most accurate measure of courage a leader possesses. For years, I believed the opposite.  • I thought leadership meant having all the answers.  • Projecting unwavering confidence.  • Never letting anyone see you doubt, struggle, or break. I thought that's what strength looked like: suffering in silence while maintaining a perfect exterior. But here's what that kind of "strength" actually creates:  • Teams that don't trust you.  • Cultures where problems encourage.   • Decisions made with incomplete information. 𝗩𝘂𝗹𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗶𝗻 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗶𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗱𝘂𝗺𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗿 𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗱𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻. 𝗜𝘁'𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝗽𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝘁𝗵. 𝗦𝗼, 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗕𝗢𝗧𝗧𝗢𝗠 𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗘 𝗜𝗦:  • Admit when you don't have the answer and invite others to solve it with you.  • Share your struggles without making them your team's burden.  • Acknowledge mistakes quickly and completely.  • Show the human behind the title.  • Create safety for others to be vulnerable. "This decision is really hard, and I'm not 100% certain. AND here's the call I'm making and why." Both things can be true. The vulnerability builds trust. The clarity builds confidence. The strongest leaders I know aren't the ones who never struggle. They're the ones who are honest about the struggle while still showing up to lead through it. 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘄𝗲𝗮𝗸𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀. 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁'𝘀 ��𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝗽𝘂𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺💙 #Leadership #VulnerableLeadership #Authenticity #FounderJourney #TeamBuilding #Supersourcing #LeadershipLessons #Courage

I’ve watched founders try every personal branding strategy in the book. But what really works? Letting their guard down. Not the polished LinkedIn posts. Not the humble brags. Just showing up as an actual human being with real struggles, doubts, and messy progress. But most founders think it’s “too risky” to work. After working with founders through authentic personal branding and seeing the results… I’m convinced vulnerability is the highest-impact strategy most founders are avoiding. Here’s why dropping the facade changes everything: [1] It breaks through the noise While everyone else posts generic “hustle harder” content, your honest take on failure cuts through instantly. Authenticity is so rare in founder content that it immediately stands out in the AI noise [2] It builds unshakeable trust When you admit you don’t have all the answers, people actually believe you when you share what’s working. Vulnerability creates psychological safety that turns followers into advocates. [3] It attracts your actual ideal clients The founders willing to work with you aren’t looking for perfection, they’re looking for results and honesty. Pretending everything is smooth sailing attracts tire-kickers, not serious buyers. [4] It creates magnetic connection People don’t relate to your wins. They relate to your struggles. That relatability transforms casual followers into genuine champions of your work. [5] It unlocks referral goldmines When people feel connected to your story, they naturally want to help you succeed. Those authentic relationships generate more warm introductions than any networking event ever will. [6] It positions you as refreshingly real In a sea of “crushing it” posts, being honest about the hard parts makes you memorable. That differentiation alone is worth more than perfect branding. [7] It compounds into authority Consistent vulnerability builds a reputation for authenticity that can’t be faked or copied. People start coming to you specifically because they know you’ll tell them the truth. The more human you appear, the more professional opportunities you attract. What’s the biggest mindset shift that’s transformed how you show up in your business?

Men don’t talk about this enough... I’ve been made redundant. Twice. I’ve had a startup fail so spectacularly that I still wince when I think about it. I’ve sat alone in a new cities and countries wondering if I made the biggest mistake of my life. And for most of that, I didn’t talk about it. Tried to be my own therapist. Because the unwritten rule for men in sales leadership is: project strength. Always be closing. Never let them see you sweat. That rule is garbage. The best sales conversations I’ve ever had — the ones that led to the biggest deals — happened when I dropped the act. When I told a client “I don’t know, but I’ll find out.” When I admitted a mistake before they discovered it. Vulnerability isn’t weakness. It’s the hidden superpower that nobody in the boardroom wants to admit they need. I hosted a conversation on this in Singapore recently and the room was electric. Raw. Unfiltered. No prep calls. No rehearsed answers. Here’s how to start practicing this: • Start with one trusted person. You don’t have to post your failures on LinkedIn to practice vulnerability. Start with a private conversation with one colleague, mentor, or friend. Share one thing you’re struggling with professionally. Just one. Notice how it shifts the dynamic. • In your next client meeting, replace “great question” with “I don’t know yet, but I’ll get you the answer by Friday.” Watch what happens. Clients don’t need you to be omniscient. They need you to be honest. This one shift has closed more deals for me than any pitch deck. • When you make a mistake, get to the client before the client gets to you. Call them. Don’t email. Say: “Here’s what happened, here’s why, here’s what we’re doing to fix it.” The trust you build from proactive honesty is nearly impossible to earn any other way. • Create a safe space for your team. In your next team meeting, share a professional failure of your own — a real one, not a humble brag. Then ask the team what they’re struggling with. The quality of conversation will change immediately. • Set a personal rule: no performative vulnerability. If you’re sharing something hard just for likes or sympathy, don’t post it. Real vulnerability has a lesson embedded in it. Ask yourself: “Will this help someone else navigate something similar?” If yes, share it. If no, keep it for your journal. When’s the last time you were truly honest about a professional failure? What happened? Add your story in the comments. . . . #Leadership #Vulnerability

I remember the day our star performer broke down in tears during a team meeting. She'd made a mistake that cost us a client. And everyone waited to see how I'd react. That moment defined everything that came after. Because a lot of leaders think safety means avoiding tough conversations. It doesn't. It means creating a space where people can be human. Where mistakes become lessons, not punishments. Where vulnerability is strength, not weakness. Google spent $80M studying high-performing teams. Their finding? Psychological safety mattered more than talent. More than resources. More than strategy. Teams thrive when people feel safe to: ⇢ Speak up without fear ⇢ Fail without shame ⇢ Be themselves without pretense 5 ways to build safety in your team: 1. Model vulnerability first Share your own mistakes before asking others to be open. 2. Respond to failure with curiosity Ask "What can we learn?" not "Who's to blame?" 3. Protect your people publicly Take the heat when things go wrong. Share credit when they go right. 4. Make space for emotions Acknowledge that everyone has bad days. Your team is human first, employees second. 5. Follow through on your word Trust dies when promises don't. Keep commitments, even small ones. Back to that meeting: I thanked her for being honest. We worked through the problem together. The team saw that safety was real, not just talk. You see, I've learned that a leader's job isn't to be perfect. It's to make it safe for others to be imperfect. That's where real teams are born. ♻️ Agree? Repost to help a leader in your network. 🔖 Follow Justin Wright for more on leadership.

Your audience doesn't want your perfection. They're secretly begging for your vulnerability. (The truth about human connection nobody talks about) For years, I believed the opposite. I thought my job as a speaker was to: → Hide my struggles → Project complete confidence → Show that I'm perfect in every sense (which I'm not) Then one speech changed everything. Speaking to 40+ strangers, I forgot the script. I got lost... completely Forced to speak from raw experience, I shared my journey as an introvert from Pakistan who once couldn't say his own name without stuttering. The result? Standing ovation. Deeper connection. People reached out to tell they loved it. The research confirms what I stumbled upon: Audiences trust speakers who reveal strategic vulnerability far more than those who appear flawless. The truth about speaking impact: 1/ Perfect speakers create DISTANCE When you never show weakness: → You become unreachable → You trigger the audience's insecurities → You build walls instead of bridges The human brain is wired to distrust perfection. 2/ Strategic vulnerability creates TRUST Not random oversharing, but calculated openness: → Share struggles relevant to your message → Reveal your journey, not just your arrival → Connect your vulnerability to their challenges 3/ Your story unlocks THEIR story When you share your vulnerability: → You give permission for others to acknowledge theirs → You create a "me too" moment of recognition → You transform from lecturer to trusted guide Remember: Your audience doesn't want to be impressed. They want to be understood. 4/ The vulnerability sweet spot → Share challenges you've overcome (not current crises) → Connect vulnerability to valuable lessons → Maintain competence while showing humanity When I coach executive leaders, this shift changes everything: From "I must be perfect" to "I must be authentic." From "What will they think of me?" to "How can I serve them?" ♻ REPOST to help your network embrace imperfection. 📌 What's one authentic story you've been afraid to share that might actually build deeper connection with your audience?

I'm feeling vulnerable right now because we are deep into 2026 planning and I don't have all the answers yet. I could hide that from my team but instead I've been transparent about that because I think people prefer honesty over artifice. People don’t want perfect leaders. They want human ones and the most human trait of all is vulnerability. Vulnerability is one of the hardest muscles to build because it runs against everything many of us were taught about leadership. Project confidence. Always have the answer. Never admit when you are wrong. The irony is that kind of posturing does more harm than good. It shuts people down. It blocks real discussion. It creates distance at the exact moment you need connection. What actually builds trust is honesty. When I say to my team, “I don’t know yet but I’m digging in and I want your perspective,” it doesn’t weaken their confidence. It opens the door for discussion and it gives everyone permission to admit where they need help. That is the real power of vulnerability. It doesn’t chip away at confidence, it sets the conditions for it. It leads to better decisions, healthier risk-taking, and more honest collaboration. Leadership has never been about having every answer. It is about navigating uncertainty with transparency and still moving the team forward. What has been your most vulnerable moment as a leader? #Leadership #TeamCulture #PsychologicalSafety #Management #MarketingLeadership #Yext

Think leaders are strong? Most are just cowards in heavy armor. And here’s the hard truth: Your armor doesn’t inspire trust. It only hides your fear. We live in a world that still confuses perfection with leadership. The “always-right,” “always-tough,” “never-wrong” leader. But let me ask you— If your team only sees your armor…  Do they ever really see you? The leaders who are building the future don’t lead from a pedestal. They lead from authenticity. Not flawless. Not fake. Just real. Here’s what they do differently 👇 1️⃣ They show up as themselves, not a performance. People don’t connect with titles; they connect with humans. The best leaders drop the act and let their values—not ego—do the talking. 2️⃣ They admit when they don’t know. Saying “I don’t know” isn’t weakness. It’s an open door for collaboration. A knower builds dependence. A learner builds teams. 3️⃣ They own their mistakes—publicly. Trust doesn’t come from perfection. It comes from accountability. When a leader says, “I got it wrong,” they earn ten times more respect than the one who pretends they never fail. 4️⃣ They choose transparency over control. Clarity builds alignment. Secrets build fear. Great leaders tell the “why,” not just the “what.” Because trust grows when people understand the bigger picture. 5️⃣ They lead with emotion, not just logic. Work is human. Humans are emotional. Ignore that—and you lose connection. Recognize it—and you unlock performance. 6️⃣ They make it safe for others to be human too. When leaders model vulnerability, they create psychological safety. A culture where ideas, mistakes, and risks aren’t punished—but valued. 7️⃣ They ask for help without shame. A leader who can say “I need help” is rewriting the playbook. They don’t just lighten their own load— They give the entire team permission to stop pretending and start collaborating. Here’s the truth most leaders won’t like: Your team doesn’t leave because the work is hard. They leave because you made it hard to be human. Vulnerability isn’t weakness. It’s the deepest form of strength. Because when you take off the armor, you don’t just free yourself— You free your team too. And in the end, people don’t follow leaders who are perfect. They follow leaders who are real. The future won’t belong to the leaders with the toughest armor. It will belong to those brave enough to take it off.

Founders, here is a hard truth most people will never tell you: The strongest founders are not the ones who stay tough. They are the ones who allow themselves to have weak moments. We think leadership means holding everything together, looking confident, never cracking. But the reality is very different. Teams don’t trust perfection. They trust honesty. I once worked with a founder who hid every struggle. He looked calm on the outside but inside he was burning. His team felt it too. People quit. Morale dipped. No one spoke up because no one wanted to “disappoint the boss.” Then there was another founder I met recently. One day he stood in front of his team and said, “I am overwhelmed. I need help.” That single moment changed everything. The team leaned in, not away. Engagement improved. Conversations opened up. People finally felt safe to say, “Me too.” And there is science behind this. Psychological safety is the number one predictor of high-performing teams according to Google’s Project Aristotle. Teams where leaders show vulnerability report almost 50 percent higher trust. Employees in psychologically safe environments are 76 percent more likely to stay longer. This is why the strongest founders allow themselves to be human. Not to collapse. Not to overshare. But to show their team that it’s okay to talk about stress, confusion, fear, or uncertainty. Because the moment a leader opens up, the room breathes. Decisions improve. Creativity expands. Culture strengthens. People stop hiding problems and start solving them. So here is the real secret of leadership: Vulnerability is not a weakness. It is an amplifier of trust. Strong founders don’t hide their weak moments. They use them to build teams that stand even stronger. What is one moment where being honest with your team changed things for the better?

I was certain this sentence would lose the account. Instead, we partnered for a decade. His question was straightforward. I debated trying to sound smart. I confessed: "That area is outside of my typical focus. I'm familiar, but not an expert. You deserve expert advice. Let me find out." After a pause, he said: "I've interviewed a number of your competitors." I was confident our conversation was about to end. Instead of standing to leave, he smiled. "Thank you. Your honesty is incredibly refreshing." I was admittedly a little confused. He went on: "This deal is critical. I know a sea of people who would have just guessed to sell me on an idea. You were honest. I need someone I can trust on speed dial." Then: "Where do I sign? Let's do this." My shoulders instantly relaxed. We've done several deals since.  He's referred me to friends. Always a note with the same guarantee: "You can trust her." We know the importance of building trust.  But how? Be vulnerable enough to admit you don't know the answer. What else would you add? -- Follow Marsden Kline for reflections as we build our business and raise our kids. ♻️ Re-post to help normalize "I don't know" so relationships can be built to last.