How Black Women Can Balance Authenticity and Strategy

Black women do not get the same space to make mistakes, speak up or take risks in corporate spaces. It's been a weeeeeeeek on the internet. I've gotten alot of messages about why I haven't said more, done more, been louder. We don't always have the space to yell our thoughts from the rooftops. We are expected to be exceptional at all times, flawless in execution, and tireless in our efforts. One slip-up that would be overlooked, or even forgiven, in others can become a permanent scarlet letter for us. So if you're asking yourself why certain creators aren't as loud as you'd like them to be, remember, we are simply trying to protect ourselves. Every word, every post, every room we walk into has the potential to not only impact us but also ripple out to our peace, our families, and our livelihoods. As a Black woman, you are often held to impossible standards while consistently running up against the last best thing you did, constantly having to outdo and prove yourself, over and over. We're forced to keep receipts just to prove that we aren't imagining it, while leaders try to gaslight us into believing that we are the problem. It doesn’t matter how brilliant, how impactful, or how necessary you were yesterday; today, you’re expected to do it all over again, only bigger, only better. The bar never moves for us; it just gets higher. And yet, we still show up. We still create. We still lead. We still carve out space in systems not designed for us, knowing that every move we make will be dissected under a microscope. You're too much. You're too smart. You're too inquisitive. You're too whatever it is they need to say to help them unpack their own discomfort. So when you don’t hear us screaming from the rooftops, it’s not because we don’t have something to say. It’s because survival sometimes requires silence. Strategy sometimes looks like restraint. Strategy sometimes looks like moving in silence. And protecting our joy, our sanity, and our longevity will always matter more than performing for anyone else’s comfort.

🔥 From Code-Switching to Gender-Switching: The Evolution of Being “Seen” I’ve been code-switching most of my career — sometimes as the only Black person, the only woman, or the only Black woman on an executive team. Not because I wasn’t qualified to be there, but because I didn’t feel I could show up as my authentic self in those rooms. Code-switching meant adjusting everything from my hair to my language. -Avoiding certain hairstyles because they might be deemed “unprofessional.” - Editing out cultural expressions so they wouldn’t be misunderstood. -Pretending to “get” references from worlds I didn’t grow up in — because blending in kept me safe. Then came LinkedIn — the first space where I could unmask. Where I could share real stories, be a little shady, talk about mental health honestly, and build a community off of what was true rather than what was palatable. And ironically, that authenticity became the foundation for multiple revenue streams, partnerships, and opportunities. I wasn’t alone — I watched other women and marginalized professionals finally breathe here too. Then a shift happened. And recently, I think I finally understand why. A creator I follow, Megan Cornish, LICSW, ran an experiment that confirmed what many of us have been feeling for a long time: They changed two things on their LinkedIn profile for one week: Their gender setting Their communication style (headline, About section, post tone) They reused the same content — unchanged. Same ideas. Same insights. Just reshaped tone and perceived gender. The result? 👉🏾 A 400% increase in reach in seven days. Not because the content got better. Not because their expertise changed. But because of gender perception and tone. If that doesn’t sound like code-switching 2.0… I don’t know what does. This experiment exposed something deeper: Women’s authentic tone is still labeled “unprofessional.” Black women’s assertiveness is still penalized — even by algorithms. Relational, community-centered communication is deprioritized. And many leaders in mental health, DEI, and education are being muted by technology they depend on to reach people. If the tone that resonates most with marginalized communities is the tone the algorithm suppresses… we’re not imagining it — the data just caught it in the act. And let me be clear: If you want to gender-switch authentically — go for it. Show up however feels true to you. But no one should feel forced to change their identity, tone, or presence just to be seen or heard. That’s the part that should trouble all of us.

Coming from a Consulting background, one of the first lessons I was taught at the start of my career was the importance of building a personal brand. It was often hailed as a key to professional success. However, as I've progressed in my career, I've learned that it's essential to recognise that this journey can be far more complicated for those from underrepresented groups. Here's why: 1. Authenticity vs. Expectations: Balancing authenticity with societal and workplace expectations can be a tightrope walk. For underrepresented individuals, there's often a pressure to conform to established norms, rather than bringing their true selves. 2. Code-Switching: Many of us have mastered the art of "code-switching," (by necessity not by choice) adapting our behaviour, speech, or demeanour depending on the environment. While this can be a survival strategy, it can also feel like a constant identity juggle which is really draining. 3. Bias and Stereotypes: Underrepresented voices may face biases and stereotypes that overshadow their skills and achievements. Building a personal brand in those kinds of environment requires overcoming these preconceptions before any meaningful Personal branding even comes into play. 4. Risk of Tokenism: There's a risk of being pigeonholed as the "diversity hire" (and yes we still hear that language being used) or the spokesperson for an entire group, limiting one's personal brand to a singular facet of their identity. Even when I was moving into DEI, I was told I had to be careful about not just being seen as the guy who just does black community work. So, that's the doom and gloom, what can we actually do? - Foster Inclusive Spaces: Create inclusive environments where all your people can feel comfortable to bring their best selves to work without fear of judgment or bias. - Amplify Diverse Voices: Encourage and uplift underrepresented voices to share their experiences and perspectives, allowing their personal brands to shine authentically. - Challenge Stereotypes: Challenge and break down stereotypes that can impact your people's personal and professional growth. - Mentorship and Support: Offer mentorship and support networks that help individuals navigate the complexities of personal branding while staying true to themselves. (See my previous post about how to make sure that’s done well https://bit.ly/46J3ZHv ) Building a personal brand is a difficult task for everyone, but especially those from underrepresented groups. Let's work together to create a world where everyone can authentically and proudly showcase their unique personal brands, unburdened by stereotypes and biases. #PersonalBranding #InclusionMatters #Authenticity #DiversityAndInclusion

A concept that came up in coaching yesterday was the double-bind. I've spoken previously about the glass cliff, the glass ceiling, and similar terms that are helpful in giving language to inequities faced by women & women of colour in the workplace. As someone who has been labelled as 'combative' by a previous manager, it's exhausting & frustrating AF trying to navigate layers of unspoken expectations and biases while striving to remain true to oneself and succeed professionally. The double bind for women of colour is where they encounter conflicting demands or expectations that place them in a no-win situation. Here are some ways this shows up - 🎤 Assertiveness vs. Likability: there is a risk of being perceived as aggressive or abrasive. This can sometimes lead to unfair backlash that other colleagues may not face. On the other hand, if one chooses to be more reserved to avoid negative perceptions, they may seem to struggle showcasing their leadership qualities. 🎤 Professionalism vs. Authenticity: Bringing your 'whole selves' to work and highlighting cultural identities is encouraged, but this can sometimes result in facing microaggressions, tokenism or feeling like one doesn't quite fit in with the company's culture. On the flip side, downplaying cultural identity to fit in may leave them feeling disconnected and inauthentic, impacting their job satisfaction and performance. 🎤 Competence vs. Approachability: In a predominantly white or male-dominated work environment, the pressure to prove competence while also being approachable can be overwhelming. While showcasing high competence is essential, it can inadvertently intimidate colleagues (aka tall poppy syndrome) and lead to social isolation. On the other hand, focusing on being approachable and accommodating may undervalue their competence, causing them to miss out on career opportunities. 🎤 Diversity Advocate vs. Professional Identity: women of color are often expected to take on this role (often unpaid) in the workplace. This can sometimes overshadow their professional skills and career aspirations. Striking a balance between advocating for diversity and focusing on their career path can be a difficult task, as they may face criticism for not fully embracing the role. 🎤 Visibility vs. Scrutiny: The yardstick is not the same for women in leadership! While being visible is important for serving as role models, it can also subject them to higher levels of scrutiny and criticism compared to their peers. This increased scrutiny may lead them to avoid visibility, resulting in missed opportunities for career advancement. Have you faced similar experiences? How did you navigate the same? #GenderEquality #Inclusion #genderEquity #InclusionAtWork #InclusiveWorkplaces #DoubleBind #WomenOfColour

73% of high-achieving women say they feel like they're carrying the weight of representation alone. I know that weight. You know that weight. 𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒆𝒙𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒍𝒚 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒘𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒏 𝑰'𝒎 𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕. Last month, I watched a brilliant executive: PhD, 15 years of experience, flawless track record, apologize for existing in a boardroom. Again. She'd been code-switching so long, she forgot her own voice had power. Here's what I've learned about redefining success after working with 200+ high-achieving Black women: • Success isn't solo. The biggest lie? That you have to climb alone. Real power multiplies when we lift together. • Your authenticity isn't negotiable. Stop paying the authenticity tax. Your real voice is your competitive advantage. • Perfection is prison. They need you imperfect and confident, not flawless and exhausted. • Boundaries create respect. The moment you stop shrinking, you start commanding. • Your success validates theirs. Every room you own makes space for the next woman. The client I mentioned? She stopped apologizing. Started commanding. Doubled her team size in 6 months. Because confidence converts. I'm starting a cohort of high-achieving women who are done shrinking to fit and want to shut down imposter syndrome and turn confidence into cash. No fluff. All fire. What would change in your career if you stopped carrying the weight of representation and started sharing the power of presence? P.S. The woman who apologizes for taking up space never gets to own the room. Stop shrinking. Start commanding.

Black women leaders are doing advanced leadership in basic rooms. The rules are only simple for some. They don’t account for misogynoir, power, or the cost Black women pay to be seen as competent. So while the agenda is being discussed, Black women are often doing two jobs at once: leading the work - and seeking a way to regulate themselves inside environments that were never built to hold that complexity. That’s why we’re often expected to be the “anchor” in the room. For the team. For the strategy. For the emotional temperature. Our ability to adjust to everyone else gets mistaken for ease. But here’s what nobody talks about: Many of us are floating in our own leadership whilst being anchors for everyone else. What we’re rarely taught is how to anchor ourselves. You walk into the meeting prepared. Data ready. Talking points sharp. But your body didn’t get the brief. So there’s a meeting happening on the surface - and another one happening inside you at the same time. Your breath shallows. Your jaw locks. Your feet hover instead of landing. A white colleague repeats the same words you were ignored for - and they’re received differently. Everything heightens. The conversation moves on. You’re still back there, playing catch-up in a room you were meant to lead. From the outside, it looks like composure. Inside, it’s endurance. That’s not a confidence issue. It’s a nervous system issue. When your body is scanning for threat, you lose access to what makes your leadership powerful: Your clarity. Your timing. Your authority. Your ability to respond - not react. This is why leadership doesn’t start IN the meeting. It starts BEFORE it. Before the agenda, there is the body. When I understood this, everything shifted. I stopped sitting on the edge of the chair. I pressed the balls of my feet into the ground. I felt the floor - and it reminded me: I am supported. I am meant to be here. I deserve to take up space. I stopped hoping meetings would go well. I started preparing my body so I didn’t have to abandon myself to lead. These are anchors - intentional, embodied cues that bring you back to yourself when pressure rises. No system is going to hand you back your authority. That shift has to happen inside the body. This is why I’m opening The Authority Shift™️ - a 2-day intensive for Black women leaders who are done abandoning themselves to lead. We begin 14 March 2026. DM me “SHIFT” for early access details. Because surviving the room is not the same as leading it. ♻️ Repost if you believe Black women leaders shouldn’t have to suppress themselves to succeed.

A lot of Black women have been taught to lead with an apology in professional spaces. To seem less “intimidating.” To be more “palatable.” But let’s be clear: you don’t have to dim your light just to make others feel comfortable. Being direct isn’t rude. Being confident isn’t aggressive. You’re not doing too much, you’re doing what’s necessary. Let’s change the language: ❌ “I’m sorry, I know you’re busy but…” ✅ “When you get a moment, I’d like to discuss [topic].” ❌ “I hate to be a pain, but…” ✅ “Circling back to make sure this stays on track.” ❌ “Just wondering if you had any thoughts on…” ✅ “Do you have feedback on [specific item]?” ❌ “I hope this makes sense…” ✅ “Let me know if you need anything clarified.” ❌ “I don’t mean to overstep, but…” ✅ “Here’s a suggestion I believe could add value.” You’re allowed to speak up without softening every sentence. You deserve to take up space without over-explaining why you’re in the room.