How To Discuss Performance Standards With Colleagues

Last week I led a session on #PerformanceManagement for senior leaders. One of them reached out with the following important question about #PsychologicalSafety in the context of managing underperformance: "Psychological safety is an extremely difficult concept to pin down, especially in a setting where we have to strike a balance between supporting human beings under pressure, while at the same time being accountable for results. I would like to have more guidance on is how one manages the psychological safety element in a situation of underperformance - which often requires (at least partially) withdrawing that safety, to the discomfort of the staff member." Here is my advice to those of you wondering the same thing: In the context of managing underperformance, having psychological safety means feeling that you won't be punished or humiliated for making mistakes or for underperforming. That being said, having a conversation with a supervisor about your performance when you’re not meeting expectations is inherently stressful. It is psychologically difficult for people to focus on where they are coming up short; this undermines their sense of self as a competent person, particularly when they feel that they have been working diligently or when they have been negatively affected by situations beyond their control. While it may not be possible to make a staff member completely comfortable during feedback conversations about underperformance — and indeed, a total lack of discomfort with the status quo may not be optimal for motivating improvement — these conversations are much more likely to achieve their aim of helping the staff member perform at a higher level when the supervisor does the following:   ⋙ Provide Actionable Feedback ⋘ 👉 Give specific, timely, and constructive feedback on performance gaps, not just vague criticisms. 👉 Clearly outline expectations, metrics, and deadlines for improvement. Maintain an empathetic, development-focused tone even as you increase accountability. ⋙ Focus on Development, Not Just Evaluation ⋘ 👉 When addressing underperformance, emphasize how you can support the employee's growth and improvement. Make it clear the goal is to help the employee succeed. 👉 Collaboratively identify obstacles (e.g., by asking questions like, “What is most difficult about this for you?” and “What’s getting in the way?”) and craft a plan to overcome them through coaching, training, or other resources. 👉 Engage the staff member in articulating what help they feel they need and what path forward feels most motivating and productive. This helps to build employee ownership over their plan for improvement rather than thrusting it upon them.

The biggest mistake in performance conversations? Trying to correct before you connect. For years, I believed improvement meant focusing on gaps. So I zeroed in on what wasn’t working. The result? A discouraged team member who left. I learned that recognition outperforms criticism—not just emotionally, but in actual performance outcomes. That shift led me to the B.R.I.D.G.E. Framework for coaching growth: B – Be Intentional ↳ Set aside dedicated time for positive interactions R – Recognize Effort ↳ Notice what’s working—daily, not just during reviews I – Individualize Your Approach ↳ Tailor feedback to what motivates them D – Demonstrate Genuine Interest ↳ Ask, listen, show up with curiosity G – Guide with Positivity ↳ Reframe problems into growth pathways E – Evaluate and Adjust ↳ Learn what works. Repeat. Drop what doesn’t. Want 3 phrases to help build this BRIDGE? "I value your contribution—and I see how it's making a difference." "I believe in you. You'll learn through this." "I'm here to support you. How can I help?" This isn’t about sugarcoating. It’s about creating conditions where people can thrive. _____________________________________________ 💡 Save this framework for your next performance conversation.

It's been said that leadership is really about having rich conversations. I've noticed that many great leaders have the ability to communicate their ideas and drive performance in a conversational style. They have the ability to maintain undivided attention, really “being there” for the other person – to remain focused on the conversation. They have self-awareness of their biases, beliefs and emotional triggers, meaning that they know what is going on for themselves during a conversation and how to control their emotions. They can draw out what the other person is really saying by getting to the meaning behind the words so that the other person really feels understood. They can easily express their views with courage and conviction in a way that is constructive and helpful for the conversation – even when they have to give tough messages. They manage conversations so that they flow well and result in clear outcomes that everyone agrees with. And they have the ability to develop effective strategies for addressing underperformance in their team. Let's dive into some practical steps we can take to navigate this challenge: 1. Speed Up By Slowing Down: The worst thing we can do to tackle underperformance it to do it when we are emotional. Take time out to stop and think about the context and outcomes you need. Offload your emotions, write down what you would love to say but can't, go for a walk. What is the real issue? What objective data do have that will make it clear? How can you present this data so there is no wriggle room for denial? What is on their plate, what is their preferred style? 2. Choose the Right Setting Select a private, neutral, and quiet environment for the conversation. 3. Empathetic Start Begin with empathy. Express concern for their well-being and inquire about any challenges they might be facing. Talk with, not at. 4. Give Specific Examples Provide specific instances of underperformance with clear, objective examples. This helps the individual understand the areas that need improvement and sets the foundation for a focused discussion. Allow time for them to offload their emotion and excuses. 5. Collaborative Problem-Solving Encourage a collaborative approach to finding solutions; this is key to accountability and commitment. 6. Establish Clear Expectations Outline expectations for improvement, setting measurable goals and realistic timelines. This provides clarity on what is expected moving forward. 7. Support and Resources Offer support and identify any resources or training that might assist in addressing the performance issues. This ensures the individual has the necessary tools for success. 8. Follow-Up Plan Schedule regular follow-up meetings to assess progress. This allows for ongoing adjustments, fostering a continuous improvement mindset. By implementing these strategies, you can contribute to the growth and success of both individuals and the overall team.

You might not want performance conversations to be personal, but trust me, they are very personal to your employees. Their livelihood is at stake. Their capability is in question. The consequences are incredibly high. My job is to stay calm and bring structure to it. Otherwise, it can become a tangled mess. Ideally, I’ve set clear expectations upfront. And they’ve been getting feedback from me at a regular clip. But sometimes, we must step back and ask, “Where are we?” Here's how I structure those conversations: 📌 My first question: "Do they see it?" Do they appreciate what’s needed to meet or beat expectations? Do they understand how and why they’re coming up short? If "No," you need to get them there. How? Asking them to self-assess can give me useful intel. You can also finesse this by getting others to provide feedback. Different words can often break through. If they do see it... 📌 "Do they want to fix it?" If the answer is "No," the path becomes painfully obvious. You can’t have people in the role that don’t want to meet it. And people willingly leaving their role is easiest. How? Finesse it by previewing the severance or exit package. Identify roles they might thrive in. Chances are they're frustrated, too. Or if they’re a great fit in the wrong role, you can discuss a trial elsewhere in the org. Finally, if they see it and want to fix it... 📌 “Do they know how?” If not, this is a great place to coach. Use questions to guide them in the direction you need. If they write the map, they tend to follow it. If they know how and are not improving, there are two possibilities: -> They’re not making the change. -> They’re making it, and it’s not helping. In either case, the fair choice for your team and for them is likely an exit. These conversations are always challenging. But they're nearly impossible when we don't have a plan. You can have conversations, or you can lead them. In moments of high emotion, clear is kind. If you found this post helpful: - Please repost ♻️ to help other leaders - Follow Dave Kline 🔔 for more posts like it - Subscribe to my MGMT Playbook 📕 (in bio) Join 30K leaders and get access to 75 practical playbooks + working templates for every challenging management moment.

As performance review season approaches, I've been reflecting on a conversation from over a decade ago that still sits with me today. During my review, my manager told me I "needed to work on my confidence." When I asked for clarification, she said, "Think about how [male colleague] would have handled this situation." I can't fully fault my manager - who was herself a woman. We all carry internalized biases that we've absorbed from years of working in systems that often value traditionally masculine behaviors. It's a stark reminder that unlearning these patterns requires conscious effort from all of us, regardless of gender. That moment crystallized something I've observed throughout my career: vague feedback often masks unconscious bias, particularly in performance reviews. "Lack of confidence" is frequently used as shorthand to describe women's leadership styles, while similar behavior in male colleagues might be viewed as "thoughtful" or "measured." Here's what I wish that manager had said instead: 🔹 "I'd like you to take the lead in proposing solutions to the team, rather than waiting to be called on." 🔹"Let's work on defending your decisions with data when faced with pushback from folks." 🔹"I noticed you often preface your ideas with "I think..." Let's practice delivering recommendations with clear rationale and conviction." 🔹"Here are specific techniques to influence cross-functional stakeholders more effectively." As leaders, we are responsible for being intentional and specific in our feedback. Vague critiques like "needs more confidence" or "should be more assertive" without concrete examples or actionable guidance don't help our reports grow – they perpetuate harmful stereotypes. To my fellow managers preparing for year-end reviews: 🔹Be specific about behaviors, not personality traits 🔹Provide clear examples and contexts 🔹Outline actionable steps for improvement 🔹Check your biases - are you applying the same standards across your team? Remember: The impact of your words may last far longer than the conversation itself. #Leadership #PerformanceReviews #UnconsciousBias #WomenInBusiness #ProfessionalDevelopment

Honest performance conversations can feel uncomfortable—but avoiding them is worse. I've made that mistake (more than once) and now do my best not to repeat it. Here's why: When we delay or sugarcoat tough feedback, we miss the chance to help our teams grow. Clarity isn’t cruel; it’s what empowers people to improve. So avoiding these conversations for my own comfort hurt us all in the end. But how do you approach these conversations the right way? → Have them early. This is the mistake I've made too many times. Don’t wait until frustrations pile up or annual reviews roll around. Feedback is most impactful when it’s timely. If you wait too long, what was once likely a correctable behavior becomes a pattern at best, or a habit at worst. → Lead with specifics. Vague comments like, “You need to improve communication” don’t help. That's like saying "There's going to be weather today." Without specifics, there's no clear action to take. → End with a plan. Performance conversations shouldn’t just identify issues—they should spark solutions. Sometimes, the corrective action is clear-cut, other times you'll need to work together on actionable next steps. But no matter what, end with an action plan (one you can reflect on later for accountability). When done well, these conversations strengthen trust, build accountability, and set the stage for long-term success—for individuals and the team. Because the hardest conversations are often the ones that matter most. #teambuilding #leadership

I stopped performing annual reviews. 99% of the time they don’t increase actual performance.  Give me 2 minutes. I'll show you what I did instead: 👇 𝗦𝗵𝗶𝗳𝘁 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗠𝗶𝗻𝗱𝘀𝗲𝘁 • Break free from traditional annual reviews. • Be a year-round coach, not a once-a-year judge. • Continuous feedback, like a sports coach, is key. 𝗔𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗻 𝗚𝗼𝗮𝗹𝘀 • Avoid misalignment with clear, measurable goals. • Limit to 3 major goals. • Employees set personal goals aligning with these. • Focus: 80% on these goals, 20% on everything else. 𝗠𝗮𝘅𝗶𝗺𝗶𝘇𝗲 𝟭𝘅𝟭 𝗠𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 • Essential for ongoing feedback. • Ideal timing: 60 minutes every two weeks. • Discuss progress on top 3 goals. • Address blockers & celebrate successes. 𝗜𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗤𝘂𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝘆 𝗖𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸-𝗜𝗻𝘀 • Extend a regular 1x1 to 90 minutes quarterly. • Explore the employee’s broader career aspirations. • Discuss quarterly performance. • Checkin on personal development (see next) 𝗘𝗺𝗽𝗵𝗮𝘀𝗶𝘇𝗲 𝗣𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗗𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗽𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 • Traditional reviews list too many improvement areas. • Focus on ONE key area for yearly improvement. • Agree on the area together. • Review progress in quarterly sessions.    👇 𝗕𝗼𝗻𝘂𝘀 𝗧𝗶𝗽𝘀 For 𝗘𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗣𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗠𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁: 1. Make every 1x1 a coaching opportunity. 2. Consistently give feedback or praise. 3. Avoid canceling 1x1s – they're crucial. 4. Repeated mistakes may indicate a poor fit. 5. Link bonuses to both company and individual goals (50/50 split). Ditch the bureaucracy and transform performance management into a tool for real feedback and personal growth! 📈 _____ Enjoy this? Repost to your network and follow me Scot Chisholm for more! 📌  P.S. I'm writing about how to delegate like a pro this Friday to all my newsletter subscribers. Sign up here: scotchisholm.com  

"I need to give you some feedback." Have you noticed how those words can instantly create tension in a room? 🤔 I was recently working with a leadership team struggling with performance conversations. The challenge wasn't the content of the feedback, but the power dynamic at play. We've all been there - when someone with formal authority sits down to "provide feedback," it often creates an automatic imbalance. The conversation becomes one-way rather than collaborative. This is where understanding the balance between advocacy (stating your position) and inquiry (exploring others' perspectives) becomes crucial: High advocacy + Low inquiry = "Here's what you need to improve" with little curiosity about context or challenges. 👉 The person receiving feedback feels judged rather than supported. High advocacy + High inquiry = "Here's what I've observed, and I'm genuinely interested in understanding your perspective." 👉 This creates psychological safety and joint problem-solving. At Fractional Insights, we use this matrix to help leaders recognize their default patterns in performance conversations. Most of us naturally lean toward either advocating our viewpoint OR asking questions - rarely both in balance. When leaders balance sharing their expertise with genuine curiosity, teams experience higher psychological safety and better performance outcomes. What's your natural tendency in feedback conversations? Do you lead with questions or statements? And what small shift might help you create more balanced dialogue? #LeadershipDevelopment #FeedbackCulture #PsychologicalSafety #FractionalInsights

THE SECRET OF HARD PERFORMANCE CONVERSATIONS There are 3 counterintuitive truths – I call them “secrets” because of how overlooked they are – that can help reduce the friction, anxiety, and dread of holding hard performance conversations. SECRET #1: Everyone wants redemption. No one likes performing poorly. Mull on that for a moment. This means if your direct report is underperforming, they don’t want to stay in this state of underperformance. They want to know. They want to know how they can get better. And so, if you as a leader can clearly show a path to getting better and focus on that future state, that creates momentum for the person to actually want to change their behavior. Make it clear. Make it specific. Your direct report wants to get better. You just need to give them a real path for redemption. SECRET #2: The longer you wait, the worse it gets. Have you ever left milk in the fridge for too long? (Bear with me here). If you have, you know that if you keep it there, it never gets better. It always gets worse, with each passing day… And if you’ve been the victim of coming home from a long vacation, having forgotten to throw it out, you know the impenetrable stench infused into your entire refrigerator. The same is true of every hard performance conversation: The pain of having the conversation now pales in comparison to the pain later. Because “later” is when they’ve made an even bigger mistake because you didn’t have the conversation earlier. “Later” is when you’re forced to tell them they’re not the right fit for the role and they feel completely blindsided in being let go. Think of the milk in the fridge. Never forget the cost of delay. SECRET #3: Your job is to be helpful – not to be nice. How would you describe your #1 responsibility as a leader? “To support the team” or “To help our team to achieve our goal” are often the most common answers I receive. Not included is, “Trying to get my team to like me all the time.” And yet, we often postpone, sugarcoat or all together avoid hard performance conversations because we’re terrified of the other person’s reaction – and our lack of control of it. We must reassert this for ourselves: Above everything else, our job is to be most helpful to our team. Not to be nice. Not to tell people what they want to hear. To be as helpful as possible in the team reaching their goal. REMEMBER & PRACTICE. If you can remind yourself of these three secrets, the greater levity and thoughtfulness that you can approach your performance conversations. Feel free to revisit these 3 secrets before your next performance conversation.   I’ll be remembering and practicing, remembering and practicing, alongside you. -- This is part of my latest original writing on our Canopy newsletter. Subscribe for updates here: https://lnkd.in/grFR9ivN #performanceconversations #leadership