Building a Network Without Feeling Fake

It's Not an Event. It's a Way of Life... When most people hear the word networking, they think of name tags, conference halls, LinkedIn connections, and polite small talk over canapés. But real networking is far more powerful—and far more personal—than that. Networking isn’t an event. It’s a way of showing up in the world. You are networking every time you make a genuine connection, express interest in someone else’s journey, or offer value without expectation. Weddings. Funerals. Church. School functions. Even a neighbor’s BBQ. You don’t need to wait for a “networking event” to build your network. Life is full of opportunities to connect—if you’re paying attention. How to Network Without Calling It Networking 1. Do more listening than talking. The best networkers are not smooth talkers. They are curious listeners. People open up when they feel heard. When they feel seen. Make it your goal to leave every interaction knowing more about the other person than they know about you. 2. Focus less on what you want to get. Pour more into what you can give. Ask not, “What can this person do for me?” but, “What can I do for them?” Sometimes that’s an introduction, a compliment, a resource—or just showing up and caring. It’s a shift from extraction to generosity. 3. Never show up empty-handed. Whether it’s a boardroom, someone’s home, or a casual meet-up—bring something. Small gestures leave deep impressions. This doesn’t always mean a gift you buy. It could be a kind word, a thoughtful question, or a helping hand. Relationships Are Not One-Size-Fits-All 4. Use emotional intelligence. Not everyone wants the same kind of connection. Some people thrive on regular contact. Others prefer a quiet, respectful “keep-warm” relationship. Pay attention. Let your EQ guide how and how often you engage. 5. Build bridges, not just ladders. A strong network is not made up only of the most powerful people in the room. Sometimes the most helpful person is the least expected. Be intentional about cultivating both vertical and horizontal relationships—mentors, peers, juniors. Diversity brings strength, creativity, and resilience. 6. Play the long game. Networking isn’t about quick wins. It’s about planting seeds and nurturing them over time. Be consistent. Be genuine. One small interaction today might become a transformative opportunity tomorrow. In the end, networking is just another word for community. It’s how we lift each other up. How we grow. How we give. And it’s happening all around you—if you learn to look for it. So the next time you go to an event—or to a dinner, a party, or any social gathering —don’t ask, “What can I get from here?” Ask instead: “How can I be of service?” That’s where real networking begins. Stay blessed 🙏🏼

"I hate networking." I hear this all the time. And I get it. The idea of walking up to strangers at events, making small talk, and asking for favors feels forced and uncomfortable. But here's the truth: networking doesn't have to feel like networking. Here's how to build genuine connections without being awkward: Start with warm connections. Don't cold message strangers on LinkedIn. Start with: → Former colleagues → Alumni from your school → Mutual contacts who can introduce you → People you've worked with before These conversations are easier because there's already a foundation. Lead with offering value, not asking for favors. Don't start with: "Can you help me find a job?" Start with: "I saw your post about [topic] and thought you might find this article interesting." Or: "Congratulations on your new role! I'd love to hear how it's going." Give first. Ask later. Use LinkedIn to build relationships before asking for anything. Don't send a connection request and immediately ask for something. Instead: → Engage with their posts (thoughtful comments, not just "Great post!") → Share their content when it's relevant → Send a message just to catch up, no agenda Build the relationship over time. When you do reach out, make it easy for them. Don't say: "Can I pick your brain?" Say: "I'd love to hear about your experience at [Company]. Would you be open to a 20-minute coffee chat? I'm happy to work around your schedule." Be specific about what you're asking for and respect their time. Schedule "informational coffee chats" instead of calling it networking. Reframe it in your mind. You're not networking. You're: → Learning from someone's experience → Having a conversation about your industry → Building a relationship with someone interesting Take the pressure off yourself. Follow up and stay in touch; don't just reach out when you need something. After the conversation: → Send a thank you note within 24 hours → Share an article or resource they might find useful → Check in every few months (congratulate them on wins, share updates) Stay on their radar in a genuine way. The best networking doesn't feel transactional. It feels like building real relationships with people you respect. And those relationships? They're the ones that actually lead to opportunities. Save this post so you're ready to network without the awkwardness.

𝐈 𝐃𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐍𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐀𝐧𝐲𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞. 𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞’𝐬 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐃𝐨 𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐝. Traditional networking felt like a full-time job. Attending events, making small talk, collecting cards I’d never follow up on. It was exhausting and rarely meaningful. So I stopped forcing it. And I started using LinkedIn to build real relationships on my own terms. Here’s what changed: ✅ I show up through content that reflects my expertise and values ✅ I leave thoughtful comments that turn into real conversations ✅ I reply to DMs without a pitch, just genuine curiosity ✅ I connect with people I’d actually want to learn from or work with LinkedIn isn’t about growing a list. It’s about growing a network that matters. And you don’t need to be everywhere or talk to everyone to do that well. The best connections are built through value, relevance, and consistency. Not loud events. Not forced follow-ups. If you’ve been avoiding “networking” because it feels like a chore, maybe it’s time to redefine what it looks like. Let your content do the intro. Let your curiosity do the rest. #LinkedInTips #NetworkingStrategy #RelationshipMarketing #ContentThatConnects #LinkedInGrowth

Networking isn’t about collecting business cards or sending generic LinkedIn messages—it’s about building real, meaningful connections. But let’s be honest: it can feel awkward, especially when you don’t know where to start. Here’s how I’ve learned to make networking both effective and authentic - Provide some sort of value. When reaching out to someone, think about how you can bring value to them. Instead of asking, “Can I pick your brain?” try something like: - “I really enjoyed your recent post about [topic]—it gave me new insights.” - “I noticed you’ve worked on [project/field]. Here’s a resource I found helpful—thought you might too!” Starting with value makes the interaction about collaboration, not extraction. Networking doesn’t end with the first meeting. After connecting, follow up with a personalized message: “It was great chatting about [topic]. I came across this article that aligns with what we discussed—thought you’d find it interesting!” Consistency and genuine interest are what transform connections into relationships. Networking is a skill, not a transaction. It’s about showing up authentically, giving more than you take, and staying connected.

How I built my network after moving to NYC (without feeling like a walking LinkedIn request). Relocating to New York can feel like being dropped into a 24/7 networking simulation. But instead of trying to "conquer the city," I focused on integrating into it, with people, places, and conversations that felt real. Here's what worked for me: 🫶 Joined communities that actually fit me I found groups like FIF Collective - spaces where creativity and professional curiosity collide. Being surrounded by people who get it makes all the difference. 📅 Subscribed to local event drops (Luma is a gem) Luma became my go-to spot for niche events and curated meetups. No more doom-scrolling - just solid leads on where to be. 👋 Showed up. 1–3 times a week. Consistency is underrated. I made it a rule to attend 1–3 events a week - no matter how busy things got. It kept the momentum going and led to the best kind of accidental meetings. 📲 Booked coffee chats with locals I didn’t wait to “run into the right people.” I reached out early, introduced myself, and scheduled real conversations. These 1:1s have been where the real value happens. 🎯 Events again! Sought out weirdly specific events Think: private equity meetups, investor circles, or even stuff that might not be trending but definitely attracts the people I wanted to learn from. 🤝 Made intros a habit I’d ask, “Is there one more person you think I should meet?”. 🏛️ Private clubs (Yale, Harvard, etc.) One of the best investments you can make is to join a private club or know someone who can invite you as a guest. These clubs opened doors to new circles, and you can meet people who might not be around in any other events. Did I miss something? Add your recommendations below! #NewYork didn’t hand me a network - I built it, a few conversations at a time. And honestly? That’s what makes it feel like home. If you’re new here or starting fresh somewhere else: go where the people are, follow your curiosity, and don’t underestimate the power of showing up.

You're doing networking backwards. I see it every day. Business owners walking into rooms armed with elevator pitches, business cards, and the same tired question: "What do you do?" Then they wonder why networking feels like a waste of time. Here's the secret: The person asking the questions guides the conversation. And if you're not guiding the conversation, you're just another vendor chasing leads. Stop selling. Start asking. I built Success Champion Networking on a simple principle - quit chasing leads, start owning real estate in people's minds. And that happens through three types of questions: ❓️Journey Questions: get people talking about themselves. Not the rehearsed elevator pitch, but their actual story. "Tell me your story. How did you get started in [industry]?" moves you past surface-level BS to reveal the real person. ❓️Challenge Questions: uncover pain points and build authority. "What's the biggest bottleneck in your business right now?" This isn't consulting, it's caring. When you understand their struggles, you become someone who gets it. ❓️Future Questions: identify where they're going so you can be the bridge. "What does success look like for you 12 months from now?" Now you're positioned to make valuable introductions and offer real solutions. When you guide the conversation with the right questions, three things happen: You offer solutions. You open doors. You make valuable introductions. That's not networking. That's relationship building. And relationships drive revenue. The old way was transactional - collect cards, make pitches, hope for ROI. The new way is relational - deep dialogue, genuine connection, long-term growth. Stop separating "Work You" from "Real You." Authentic relationships are what actually move the needle. What questions are you asking in your next networking conversation? --- Want more frameworks like this? Follow me for straight-talk strategies on building business relationships that actually matter.

Networking feels fake when you're in STEM. Here's why👇 You walk into that industry event and think you need to: * Hand out business cards to everyone * Talk about yourself to strangers   * Ask for LinkedIn adds within minutes * Set up "coffee meetings" that feel weird * Mention important people you know * ...the uncomfortable small talk continues We're all so focused on what networking "should" look like that we forget most of us chose science and tech because we love solving problems, not selling ourselves (I'm no exception). Building work relationships matters - 85% of jobs come through people you know. But unless we also treat networking like sharing ideas... We'll always feel like we're being pushy. And because it feels fake and salesy, we'll skip it completely - then wonder why others get the opportunities. Here's what worked for me after 15 years in tech leadership: Instead of: "Can you help me get this job?" Try: "How do you handle [work challenge they mentioned]?" Instead of: "Let's meet to talk about job openings"   Try: "Your point about [topic] was interesting - I'm seeing that too in my work" Instead of: "Who can you introduce me to?" Try: "I've been working on [specific problem] - have you dealt with this?" Instead of: "Can you connect me to your contacts?" Try: "You might find this [article/tool] useful based on what you said" The best work relationships I built happened when I: → Asked about their actual work, not their connections → Shared what I learned from my own projects   → Helped others before asking for help → Followed up with helpful resources, not just requests → Made every chat about learning, not asking for favors Stop networking for jobs. Start networking to learn. The job opportunities come naturally when people see you as someone who adds value, not just someone asking for things. ♻️ Repost to help more women in STEM build real professional relationships

Most people think networking success is about being naturally extroverted. They're wrong. I kept trying to make connections at networking events of 1,000 people. It didn't work. I felt drained and I wasn’t good at it. I also had no interest. I was worried. Client development felt out of reach. And it seemed like being an introvert would hold me back. Then I had lunch with an accountant I met through LinkedIn. One on one. We hit it off and he started referring clients immediately.    I then realized that networking isn't about being an extrovert—it's a skill. And skills can be mastered. So here are 3 things that help me succeed at networking—without pretending to be someone I'm not: 1. I replaced small talk with substance.     I asked real questions. I showed genuine interest in others’ experiences. I also shared parts of my own story. That turned stiff conversations into ones I actually enjoyed. 2. I abandoned large networking events for one-on-one conversations.     I don't want to “work the room” in a group of 1,000 people, so why even put myself in that situation? Coffee, lunch, and phone calls worked just as well. 3. I stopped overthinking it all.     I was in my head during those conversations. When I stopped analyzing the discussion and instead started trying to understand the person, I made better connections. I used each conversation to make the other person feel understood. And then, I'd make sure to do one more thing: Follow Through. When someone mentioned they were starting a new job, I'd check in a few weeks later. It was a small gesture, but it built trust. Since making those changes, I’ve gotten better at opening up. It's helped turn superficial conversations into real connections. If you feel like you “don’t have the personality for networking," I hear you. But you don't need a new personality. You just need to be yourself.

The idea of working a room in a loud, cocktail-party-like sea of strangers is my personal version of hell. For a long time, whenever someone said “get better at networking,” that’s what I pictured. And if that was networking, I wanted no part of it.    I hear “networking” a lot when I work with leaders. They want to be better at it. They’ve been told they should be good at it. But they rarely stop to define what it means—or why it matters to them. Here are five ways to network that might feel more natural: - 𝗔𝗻𝘀𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗮𝗺𝗻 𝗲𝗺𝗮𝗶𝗹. Quick replies build your network. You don’t need to reply to every bit of spam, but leaving colleagues hanging sends a message too—just not the one you want.      - 𝗘𝗻𝗴𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸. Most projects stay within one department. Cross-team work builds relationships naturally. Pick something you’re working on and bring in someone from outside for their perspective. Better yet, design a project with partnership in mind.      - 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗼𝗻𝗲-𝗼𝗻-𝗼𝗻𝗲. Call or message a colleague for advice. Connect with someone in a similar role at another site. Ask a person one level above you how they approach the work you want to do. Keep it quick and easy for them.      - 𝗖𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗮 𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗽. Gather peers with similar interests. Meet regularly. Share one win and one challenge each time. Then choose, as a group, which topics to dig into.      - 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻 𝗮𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀. Training programs build networks and shared language. I recently spoke at a leadership program attended by individuals whose senior leaders had participated in the same program years earlier. That common ground still connects them.     Start where it feels easiest. Then stretch into new ways of connecting. The goal isn’t to “network.” It’s to build relationships that matter.

Networking isn’t about collecting business cards. It’s about building real relationships: the kind that lead to opportunities, partnerships, and lifelong connections. After interviewing over 400 professionals on The Social Capital Podcast, I’ve seen firsthand what makes someone a great networker…and what makes them forgettable. My top 3 takeaways from those conversations: 1️⃣ Be Your Authentic Self People can smell fake a mile away. If you’re putting on a facade, trying to impress, or forcing a connection, it won’t last. The most successful networkers? They show up as their real, unfiltered selves - because trust starts with authenticity. 2️⃣ Give First Networking isn’t a transaction. The strongest relationships are built on giving without expecting anything in return. Offer value, share insights, connect people, and help however you can. When you lead with generosity, opportunities naturally follow. 3️⃣ Do What You Say You’ll Do Your reputation is everything. If you promise to introduce someone, share a resource, or follow up → do it. Following through builds credibility while flaking out can damage your reputation faster than you think. But There’s More… Beyond these core principles, I’ve learned additional strategies that take networking to the next level: ✔ Be Proactive in Building Relationships Opportunities can arise anywhere. One guest on The Social Capital Podcast shared how a chance meeting in an airport bar led to a lasting professional relationship - reminding us that networking doesn’t just happen at formal events. ✔ Cultivate Relationships Through Shared Experiences Engaging in activities outside of work - sports, hobbies, volunteering - can naturally expand your network. One professional found that playing a sport helped her reconnect and rebuild her network after maternity leave. ✔ Leverage Digital Platforms Effectively Platforms like LinkedIn are networking goldmines if used right. Sharing insights, engaging in discussions, and showcasing your expertise keeps you visible and valuable in your industry. ✔ Embrace a Relationship-Driven Mindset Shift from transactional networking to genuine connections. People remember those who invest in relationships, not just those who show up when they need something. ✔ Seek Mentorship and Continuous Learning Some of the most successful professionals I’ve interviewed credit their growth to mentorship and ongoing learning. Surrounding yourself with the right people accelerates your success. At the end of the day, the best networkers don’t just meet people - they create lasting social capital. And that starts with trust, authenticity, and generosity.  What’s the best networking advice YOU’VE ever received? #Networking #Authenticity #RelationshipBuilding