Executive Coaching Techniques

My top takeaways from executive coach Rachel Lockett: 1. The biggest skill gap in new leaders is knowing when to coach vs. when to tell people what to do. When you constantly provide answers, you train your team to bring you every problem instead of building their own problem-solving skills. The people you hire are experts in their domain—ask curious questions to help them reach their own solutions, which makes them more motivated and capable. Save direct advice for urgent situations or when someone genuinely lacks the necessary skills. 2. Use these four questions to coach someone to figure out the answer or themselves: When someone brings you a problem, use GROW: Goal, Reality, Options, and Way forward. Ask about their desired goal (what does success look like?), their current reality (where are you stuck?), possible options for a path forward (what could you do next?), and a concrete way forward (what will you actually do next?). These questions help people discover solutions they already have the context to find. You don’t need to follow this exact order; just use whichever type fits the moment. 3. Use this four-step framework for difficult conversations: Observations, Feelings, Needs, Requests. Start with factual observations anyone could verify (not interpretations). Share your feelings without blame (I felt anxious, confused, disconnected—not “I feel like you. . .”). Name your underlying human needs (clarity, collaboration, connection). Make a small, achievable request the other person can actually fulfill. Stay on your side of the net—talk about your experience, not what you assume about them. This lets you be bold without triggering defensiveness. 4. In conflict, aim for mutual understanding, not proving you’re right. When you enter a difficult conversation trying to convince someone they’re wrong, they become defensive and armor up. Instead, focus on helping the other person understand your experience so they can empathize and see clearly what’s happening. This shift from convincing to connecting creates space for genuine dialogue where both people can be heard and find solutions together. 5. Burnout happens when you spend too much time outside your natural strengths, not just from working too hard. For two weeks, write down the five things each day that energized you most and the five that drained you most. Look for patterns. People burn out not just from working hard but from spending too much time doing things that deplete them—even if they’re good at those things. 6. Co-founder relationships need scheduled maintenance time, like marriages. Sixty-five percent of startups fail because of co-founder conflict, not business problems. Set up regular check-ins—weekly touch-bases, monthly lunches, quarterly in-person reviews—to ask: How is this working for you? Are we aligned on vision and strategy? What am I doing that frustrates you? What’s gone unsaid?

Stop managing time. Start mastering energy. After coaching over 200+ executives, I've learned that the high-performers prioritize their energy not their time. Here's what they've shared with me (save this): 1/ Decision Energy Optimization ↳ Map your peak alertness hours (track for 5 days) ↳ Schedule critical decisions before 2pm ↳ Create a "power hour" buffer before board meetings 2/ Strategic Recovery Design ↳ Implement the Navy SEAL 4x4 breath work (4 seconds in, 4 out) ↳ Book 20-min gaps between high-stakes meetings ↳ Use "walking meetings" for 1:1s (movement = energy) 3/ Cognitive Load Management ↳ Batch similar tasks in 90-min blocks ↳ Use "two-minute previews" before switching contexts ↳ Clear mental tabs with a daily brain dump (5 mins, end of day) 4/ Energy-First Calendar Defense ↳ Rate meetings from 1-3 (energy give vs. take) ↳ Front-load relationship building before 11am ↳ Create "untouchable Thursdays" for deep work 5/ High-Impact Recovery Protocols ↳ Master the 3-2-1 reset (3 deep breaths, 2 stretches, 1 intention) ↳ Schedule "micro-breaks" (7-12 mins) after lunch ↳ Use "energy gates" (10-min buffers) between major transitions 6/ Presence Activation Tactics ↳ Activate the 2-minute centering ritual before important meetings ↳ Use "power phrases" in private before presentations ↳ Practice selective unavailability (block "focus hours" daily) 7/ Environmental Energy Design ↳ Make their desk an "energy zone" ↳ Create a "recharge corner" in your office ↳ Mute the chaos (noise canceling earbuds) 8/ Relationship Energy Management ↳ Identify your top 5 energy amplifiers (schedule them weekly) ↳ List your energy vampires (limit exposure to 30 min) ↳ Build your "energy board of directors" (5 people who elevate you) 9/ Peak State Activation ↳ Create your "power playlist" (60-90 motivation seconds) ↳ Design your "pre-game ritual" (specific sequence before big events) ↳ Use "anchor phrases" for instant state transformation 10/ Sustainable Excellence Framework ↳ Track energy levels hourly for one week (use 1-10 scale) ↳ Implement "recovery days" after high-intensity weeks ↳ Create your "minimum viable recovery" protocol (3 non-negotiables) Reality check: Your energy capacity is your competitive advantage. Not your ability to outlast everyone else. Which tactic will you implement in the next 24 hours? ♻️ Share to help a leader thrive 🔖 Save this guide for your next energy audit 🎯 Follow me (Loren) for more high-performance tactics

Ever wondered how you can transform seasoned mid-level leaders into visionary senior leaders right within your organization? Here’s a compelling case study that might inspire you to rethink your approach. Imagine leading an executive presence intervention for a top-tier manufacturing unit within a global engineering giant. With 12 leaders, each boasting over 20 years of stellar performance, the challenge was clear: ignite their passion for growth and elevate their executive presence for high-stakes meetings and CXO conversations. The goal? Beyond refining their skills, we aimed to instill the gravitas needed to drive the organization’s vision and foster authentic leadership from the inside out. Here’s what we did: 1. Crafted a Six-Month Leadership Odyssey: Dynamic group coaching sessions fostered stronger bonds and deep trusting conversations. Leaders felt safe to open up and share their vulnerabilities, creating a powerful foundation for growth. A 100-day support process bridged virtual gaps. 2. Customized Coaching: Each leader received personalized coaching, enriched by insights about Fortune 100 CXOs. We focused on Executive Presence and applied innovative communication techniques to enhance their gravitas and presence in critical meetings. The Result? These leaders didn’t just evolve—they underwent a profound transformation into change agents who propelled the organization towards sustainable change and new heights of employee and customer-centric excellence. They embraced authentic leadership, leading with confidence and authority in every high-stakes meeting. What Can You Take Away? 1. Foster Deep Trust: Create an environment where leaders can open up and share their vulnerabilities. Deep trusting conversations are essential for authentic leadership and sustainable change. 2. Enhance Executive Presence: Equip your leaders with the skills and confidence needed to handle CXO conversations and high-stakes meetings with gravitas. Tailor interventions to build their presence from the inside out. 3. Embrace Inside Out Leadership: Focus on nurturing leadership qualities from within. Authentic leadership starts with understanding oneself and extends to how leaders engage and inspire others. 4. Drive Sustainable Change: Ensure your leadership programs are designed to create lasting impact. Invest in ongoing support and personalized coaching to facilitate long-term growth and transformation. Here’s to unleashing the incredible potential within your organization! #LeadershipDevelopment #SuccessionPlanning #ExecutivePresence #AuthenticLeadership #InsideOutLeadership #CXOConversations #HighStakesMeetings #TransformationalLeadership #SustainableChange #Impact #Gravitas

Feedback is a gift — except when it’s wrapped in ambiguity. “𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝑬𝒙𝒆𝒄𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝑷𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆” is a classic example. It sounds insightful but offers no map, no metrics, no next step. What if the real work starts by decoding what that feedback was trying to say? If you are the one that received such feedback, start here: 🔅𝐐𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: Articulate what you mean by executive presence and ask what would they add or subtract to that definition. For eg, "Bob, To me, Executive Presence is an authentic way to command the room. How do you see it?" 🔅𝐃𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐫: Ask what would be the behaviour to demonstrate that you have it. Eg: "Bob, I take care to prepare well for important stakeholder conversations and pay attention to the audience in the room. I also network with my stakeholders before the meeting. What else do you find missing? What behaviour will demonstrate to everyone that I have worked on it?" 🔅𝐌𝐚𝐩 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤: Find the link between the behaviour stated and the input, process, output, as highlighted in the framework. Now you know what needs to be built. More on the framework in my blogs in comments. 🔅𝐃𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐌𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐒𝐮𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 (𝐌𝐨𝐒): Define your MoS and share it with your manager/stakeholder who gave you the feedback in your next catchup and share progress against it. Ask their feedback. If you are the one working directly on Executive Presence (without feedback) and are getting overwhelmed, know that: 🔅It's a 𝐣𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐲 not a one-day miracle. 🔅Each element in the Executive Presence framework is like a muscle and needs 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞. 🔅While going to the visible elements directly looks like a shortcut, you will not be able to sustain it. So work 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲. If you are still asking where to start: 🔅𝐈𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬 you already are good in the framework and keep whatever you are doing well already. 🔅For the areas that need improvement, c𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐝, 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞 & 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐞 by taking one area of focus every quarter. 🔅Ask for 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 from those who care enough. 🔅𝐆𝐞𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐨𝐫. #coaching #executivecoaching #presence #feedback

Last week I had Joe Hudson on the podcast, an executive coach who has worked with Sam Altman, coached teams at OpenAI and other major AI companies, and other leaders at Google, Apple, Salesforce, the NBA, and many more organizations. Before that, he spent years in international stock lending and venture capital… and also time in a room meditating for 12 hours a day. His work blends psychology, neuroscience, and contemplative practice, and it has quietly shaped some of Silicon Valley’s most influential decision-makers. Here are 12 of his frameworks for building high-performing teams and unlocking personal growth: 1. Redefine imposter syndrome You can’t logic your way out of it. We’re all making it up as we go. The goal isn’t to eliminate the feeling; it’s to change the reality on the ground  going anyway. 2. Your business is a mirror Every business problem is a self-awareness problem. If you're conflict-avoidant, your org probably is too. Put attention on the root, not just the outcome. 3. Emotional inquiry When someone criticizes you or something feels off, your instinct is to push the emotion away. But leaning into it often reveals what boundary to set or step to take next. 4. Avoiding an emotion tends to block you.  The moment you feel stuck, ask yourself: What emotion am I avoiding right now? That's usually a key to unblocking yourself. 5. Experiment where you’re least confident If you're building a car and don’t know how to build the catalytic converter, start there. Otherwise, you’ll have to rebuild the whole thing later. When building anything, begin with what you're least comfortable with. 6. Let go of shame People shame you to get you to stop doing something. When you overcome shame you unlock momentum. 7. Set aside time for regular reflection, like you would for team meetings.  A self-aware CEO is powerful. But a self-aware leadership team is a superpower. Start by asking:  What’s the one thing that would 2x our results? What would 2x our enjoyment? What mindset shift would help make it happen? 8. Build from purpose, not pressure Don’t fixate on “how to build the business.” Fixate on the change you want to see in the world. That mindset is the difference between chasing dollars and building something enduring. 9. Use change as your transformation window The most powerful transformations happen during change (new jobs, major life events, pivots). You either level up or regress. AI is one of those global moments. Don’t miss the opportunity. 10. Follow visible transformation Find someone you’ve seen change dramatically level up, personally or professionally. Ask them what they did. Then do that. It’s the best proof of what actually works. Bonus: The people creating AI are super thoughtful and intelligent… they should be treated with the respect and kindness we treated people serving in WW2. https://lnkd.in/enUigucr

He’s smart… but honestly? He’s scary.” That was the first sentence HR whispered to me about a Vice President He wasn’t disliked, he was feared. A genius in strategy, numbers, and results. But people avoided him. Team members turned silent in meetings. Emails went unanswered. Projects slowed, not because of skill gaps, but communication breakdown. When I was brought in to coach him, he looked at me with crossed arms and said, “I don’t need soft skills. I just need people to do their jobs.” The Breakdown Wasn’t in Intelligence It Was in Impact. I handed him a printed copy of his last 10 emails. “Could you please Read these aloud,” I said. He glanced at them, smirked, and began. After the second one, he paused. “Did I… actually write this?” “Yes,” I said gently. “That’s how you sound to them.” One email said: “Fix this immediately. Why wasn’t this escalated earlier?” Another said: “Need a response. Not excuses.” He looked up. “This sounds rude.” I nodded. “It does. And no one’s telling you, because they’re afraid.” Over 3 executive coaching sessions, we didn’t change what he said—we changed how he said it. We worked on tone. On email structure. On silence. On saying “I understand where this is coming from” before saying “Here’s what needs to happen.” We role-played tough conversations. Practiced listening—really listening—not just pausing to speak. He didn’t soften his standards. He sharpened his empathy. 3 Months Later: Anonymous Feedback HR conducted a 360° feedback review. One note stood out: “He’s still brilliant. But now, he listens. He makes space for others to contribute. I no longer dread meetings I look forward to them.” Another said: “He hasn’t lost his edge. He’s just added warmth.” He sent me a message: “I didn’t realize people were scared of me. Thank you for showing me how to lead with clarity, not fear.” 💡 The Takeaway? Being smart is not enough. Being respected isn’t the same as being feared. Your brilliance should create safety, not silence. You can be direct without being dismissive. You can be assertive without being aggressive. You can lead with power and still be approachable. Because influence without emotional intelligence is just intimidation. And intimidation builds walls—not teams. Are you a leader ready to transform the way your words land? Let’s rebuild your communication style—so your intelligence invites, not isolates. #ExecutivePresence #SoftSkillsForLeaders #EmotionalIntelligence #HighImpactCommunication #LeadershipTransformation #CommunicationCoach #FromScaryToStrong #TrainWithShivani #LeadershipThatListens

One verbal habit almost cost my client her MD promotion, and she didn’t even realize she was doing it. She had the track record, the relationships, the results. But she kept ending her recommendations with "Does that make sense?" Instant authority killer. I coach executives on communication every week and this pattern quietly derails more promotions than people think. When it comes to executive presence, verbal communication is one of the most trainable skill. Yet most leaders never learn the specific patterns that signal authority. Here's your blueprint for speaking with C-suite authority: ✅ Do: Pause before responding (confidence doesn't rush) Lead with your conclusion Control your pace (slower = more gravitas) Let silence do the work ❌ Don't: Hedge with "I think" or "maybe" Over-explain your reasoning End statements with upward inflection Ask for validation after making your point Phrases that command the room: "The data indicates..." "Here's what matters most..." "Based on what we're seeing..." "Let me be direct..." "The opportunity here is..." 💡Remember: Executive presence isn't about pretending. It's about aligning your communication with your capabilities. These aren't performance tricks. They're patterns that help you express the expertise you've already built. The shift happens fast. One client told me: "I stopped asking for permission in my own sentences. Suddenly everyone started treating me like the executive I already was." [Blueprint guide attached] If you’re done sounding unsure of the expertise you’ve already earned, drop the habit you’re leaving behind this week. ------------ Ring my 🔔 for more executive communication strategies, or reach out directly to accelerate your path to the C-suite. Helping you master the language of leadership—before you need the title. 😎

PR/Comms Industry: I listen to a lot of executive comms “thought leader” interviews (podcasts, webinars, LinkedIn posts, etc). And everyone keeps saying the same thing: “storytelling,” “authenticity,” “purpose,” “visibility,” etc. Here is how to actually coach executives right now, without the buzzwords: 1. Stop hiding behind messaging. Employees can smell spin instantly. If the news is bad, say the actual thing. Do not sugarcoat it. Do not strategically frame it. Just be clear. People do not need inspiration. They need honesty. Most executives want better messaging when what they really need is better decision-making. No communication can fix a strategy no one believes. 2. Use real examples, not corporate metaphors. If you want people to understand your strategy, point to a real customer, real employee, or real situation. One concrete example beats five talking points. 3. Internal and external are the same audience now. Slack screenshots, Teams chats, town halls. Everything gets shared. Your internal message has to match what you say outside. When those two versions diverge, trust disappears. 4. Do not outsource vulnerability to comms. Executives want to be seen as human, but they still speak like press releases. The job is not to make them sound warm. It is to make them sound like themselves. (If they are a-holes, we will address that in a separate post. In that case, you definitely do not want them sounding like themselves.) If they cannot be real for 30 seconds, the communication will never land. 5. Inclusive communication only works if leaders actually behave inclusively. You cannot run a DEI week and then shut down every opposing view in a meeting. People do not listen to what leaders say. They watch what they do. 6. The biggest blocker in executive comms is not AI. It is insecurity. Half the role is helping leaders stop reacting from fear: fear of backlash, fear of looking weak, fear of saying the wrong thing. Employees also do not trust leaders who communicate one way on a good day and a completely different way when something goes wrong. Emotional consistency builds credibility. 7. Executive comms is not storytelling. It is alignment. Getting the CEO, CFO, CHRO, legal, marketing, and IR to say the same thing consistently is the real job. If they are not aligned, no narrative will save it. None of this is fancy. It is basic, human, unpolished communication. And the executives who get coached this way, directly and honestly and without jargon, are the ones whose teams actually trust them.

In executive coaching, one of the patterns I keep seeing with high-potential leaders is this quiet but costly mistake: they walk into high-stakes rooms feeling the need to prove dominance, when what the room actually responds to is authority. Those two things may look similar on the surface, but they operate very differently in practice. Dominance tends to lean on volume, speed, and presence for its own sake. Authority, on the other hand, is built on relevance, timing, and the ability to add value when it matters most. In rooms where decisions carry weight, the person who understands what is really happening beneath the surface usually has more influence than the person who is simply the most visible. I remember working with an executive who had done the work. They were prepared, sharp, and clear on their position going into a critical meeting. But once they got in the room, the energy shifted. It was fast, loud, and slightly combative, and instead of grounding themselves in their strength, they tried to match that energy. In doing so, they moved away from what actually made them effective, which was their ability to observe patterns, pick up on nuance, and offer precise insight. They didn’t lose because they lacked competence. They lost because they abandoned their edge. Interestingly, the person who ultimately shaped the outcome of that meeting was not the loudest voice. They spoke last, said very little, and yet managed to reframe the conversation in a way that everyone aligned with. That is authority at work. It is not about how much you say, but how accurately you read the moment and how intentionally you choose to show up in it. This is where I often introduce what I call the R.E.A.D Strategy™, a practical way to build situational authority rather than defaulting to performance. First, read the room before you contribute. Give yourself a moment to understand the tone, the tensions, and the unspoken dynamics rather than rushing to be heard. Then, evaluate the energy and the underlying power structure. Who is influencing decisions? Who is holding back? What is not being said that is shaping the direction of the conversation? From there, align your communication to the environment. This is where flexibility matters. Not every room needs the same version of you. Sometimes, clarity wins. Sometimes, restraint does. Sometimes, a well-placed question carries more weight than a long explanation. Finally, deliver your insight at the moment it will land with the most impact. Timing is often the difference between being heard and being ignored. When your contribution connects to what the room is already grappling with, it does not feel like an interruption, it just feels like direction. That is the difference. It is not about taking up more space, it is about making the space you take count.

The higher you climb in corporate, the more people lie to you. But they don’t call it lying. They call it “managing up.” They call it “protecting the relationship.” They call it “picking their battles.” The result? Your blind spots grow — and no one warns you. A McKinsey & Company study of over 2,200 executives found that only 1 in 3 feel confident they consistently make good decisions. The other 2 out of 3? They know they’re guessing — and sometimes, guessing wrong. Why? Because the higher you rise, the less honest feedback you get. Your direct reports filter. Your peers soften the edges. And slowly, your view of reality gets narrower — without you even noticing. I’ve worked with hundreds of executives, some of whom viewed themselves as “the smartest person in the room.” This may drive innovation — until it drives silence. Teams stop pushing back. They agree, even when they don’t really. Blind spots don’t just hurt leaders — they stunt entire organizations. The most effective executives I coach aren’t the ones who have all the answers — they’re the ones who build systems to surface the truth. Here’s how they do it: ✅ Get an executive coach — not for answers, but for unfiltered reflection. A good coach doesn’t just ask questions — they notice your patterns, challenge your assumptions, and hold up the mirror you’ve been avoiding. ✅ Ask for feedback in ways that make honesty safe. Skip “Do you have any feedback for me?” (it’s too vague). Try: “What’s one thing I’m doing that’s making your job harder?” The more specific the question, the more useful the answer. ✅ Make dissent a leadership value. In senior team meetings, actively reward people who challenge you — and back them up when they do. When leaders make it safe to push back, teams start telling the truth before it’s too late. ✅ Set up regular 360 reviews — and commit to sharing what you’re working on. When you show your own growth areas, you give everyone else permission to grow as well. ✅ Build a personal advisory board — outside your company. Executives who only get feedback from inside their organization get trapped in the same blind spots as everyone else. External advisors — other CEOs, retired leaders, trusted mentors — bring a wider lens and fewer filters. Remember, the most dangerous blind spots are the ones you choose not to see. The best leaders don’t just ask for feedback — they build the conditions where the truth has room to surface.