On Women's Day

This Women's Day, let's xyz

This Women's Day, celebrate abc

This Women's Day…

This Women's Day, how about everyone shuts the hell up?

Can we have one day when women aren’t given advice, told what to do? Can brands stop shoving products down our throats under the guise of celebrating our womanhood?

Can women stop putting up IG stories of the 'powerhouses' in their lives? Because lady, who are you kidding? You and your powerhouse still follow patriarchal rules, do socially approved jobs, bend over backwards for the men of the world, and worse, you think you do this out of your own will, like it is your choice.

Think of your mom. Think of your household maid. How would they act if they actually had the freedom. Then think of yourself.

If we sit down and really think about it, is the way we speak our choice? Or are our sentences/emails/texts edited to seem less forceful, angry, dissident, rude? Do we always offer apologies or smiles to take the sting out of words we forget to filter?

Do we dress the way we really want to? Would our necklines and hemlines be lower (or higher) if we could truly not care how society perceived us?

If our physical safety wasn't an issue, would we ever have to 'reclaim the night/streets'? Would we stay in relationships that don't fulfill us or meet our needs?

How hard do we try to not be seen as difficult, bossy, argumentative, emotional, sensitive at work? Would we be less diligent, more of a mess, sprawl out more?

If we didn’t have to worry about our emotional safety in our homes, would we be harsher? Would we point out the burden of emotional labour, demand that the mental load of running a house be shared by our husbands, brothers, fathers?

Would we ever say 'boys will be boys', or make gendered excuses for anyone's behaviour?

How much space would we really feel okay taking up if no one - especially other women - were judging us for it?

So here's an idea.

How about Women's Day becomes a day in which we sit down and think about our choices, freedom, safety, and how most of them are not our choices at all? We tell ourselves we’ve chosen our paths, but how many of those choices were made freely? How many were shaped by fear, by expectation, by the silent rules that govern us? That we "choose" our situations is often just a way to convince ourselves we have control. Choice feels like control, but is it? If every decision is weighed against safety, respectability, and social approval, is it really ours to make?

Men, and other women in society, dictate our behaviour more than we do. We call it choice, but most of the time, it’s compliance - wrapped in the comforting lie that we had a say in the matter.

This Women's Day, THINK. Get angry.

Or better yet, this Women's Day, don’t let anyone (even me) tell you what to do.