Are we failing at life?
Do you ever worry that you’re failing at life? That no matter how much you accomplish it isn’t enough? Not quick enough, not shiny enough, not hard enough, not far enough. These are my worries. Life is just too short though my daughter argued the very opposite, stating that life feels very, very long. Perhaps it is from the perspective of a 6-year-old. When you’ve only lived for such a short time and have a good 90 years ahead of you, the world will truly feel like your oyster. But enter your 30s and something scary begins to happen. You realise you are merely mortal and the likelihood is you’re a third of the way into your lifetime.
A third.
Have I accomplished all that I would in this first third? Have you? It’s not to say that life has to be full of big extravagances. Goals and therefore accomplishments are fluid and change with time and changing environments, as I feel they should do, but what of the large double fronted home I wanted to own by now? Where are
It’s not to say that life has to be full of big extravagances. Goals and therefore accomplishments are fluid and change with time and changing environments, as I feel they should do, but what of the large double fronted home I wanted to own by now? Where are the his and hers cars and row of published novels taking pride of place on the shelves beside my Chesterfield? I stopped having faith in my own skills as a writer with nearly the same haste in which I initially believed in them. I stopped pushing towards my dreams and goals, instead focussing and worrying about the here and now, mistaking my woes of the time for the overall state of play, not recognising them for what they were. Simply bumps in the road map of our lives.
With social media playing such an intrinsic part of most millennials lives it’s easier than ever to not only stay connected but to feel as if your lifestyle, achievements and lack of achievements are all on show and available to public scrutiny. It’s all too easy to scroll through an Instagram feed and make snap judgements on someone’s life. More often than not, these images are merely book covers. They don’t give you a real sense of someone’s worth, their substance, what makes them unique. More likely, it shows a very small slither of a person’s life, what makes them tick, what they like (visually) without giving away the whole story. I’m always surprised when I meet someone I’ve been speaking to on social media or through their blogs for the first time, because no matter how well I feel I know them via their words and the images they choose to capture, 90% of them are very different to the voice and personality I associated with them in my own head. That’s not a bad thing, it just is what it is.
When those I feel radiate nothing but confidence and success in their words speak to me of insecurities and of missed opportunities it’s both shocking and comforting. Shocking to find that people you feel are so perfectly polished have just as many cracks and kinks as you or I, and of course, strangely, selfishly comforted by the very same realisation. Life is short. We have unlimited lists of things we would like to achieve but a limited time to do them all. Do you dedicate your life, or at least the next few years to writing that book you dream about? Do you toil hard and save up for retirement on the hot and sandy island you honeymooned on? Whatever path we choose will we be happy with it once we reach our destined goal or will our accomplishments seem too small, not shiny enough, not far enough?
Maybe I’m not failing in life, simply fearing it. Fearing that whatever I do won’t make enough of a mark to ensure a legacy which lives beyond my own death. Fearing that I’ll come to the end of my life and with the painful clarity of the dyeing see that the paths I chose throughout life were the wrong ones. Do I live the next two-thirds of my life zig zagging across different paths or sticking to as few as possible? Will any of them provide a more fruitful, successful and happy existence? Who knows. I’m 30 years old and certainly not full of the answers. I just think that although we may sometimes feel like we’re failing in life, it isn’t the case.
We all win, at our own pace and in our own ways. Comparison is the devil and will turn your blind with envy and frustration. Next time you feel you’re failing at life, look to the person opposite you, then the one on your left and remember that at some point even if not now, they’ve probably felt the exact same way. None of us is alone in this journey, sometimes life can suck and other times it is less so. We may not do everything we set our minds to do but sometimes the journey is so much more important and meaningful than the goal.
Image of girl epically failing at life falling from a chair via Shutterstock.
Post originally shared on www.circusmums.com