Thoughts for Int'l Women's Day

Last night I had the honour of speaking at Hunter College for their Women's Empowerment event celebrating International Women's Day. I was joined by 2 very accomplished women, Tal Heinrich and Dr. Sagit Sandowski-Pizow, and although we all had different stories and careers, I do think that overall we all had the same message, and I thought I would share it with you all here.

There are many studies suggesting that women hold themselves to higher standards, and this is coupled with women being more easily discouraged. I know this resonates with me, I am often very quick to drop something I deem myself no good at, or under qualified for. I won't even start something if I think I won't be able to get it right the first time.

So we keep quiet. We sit in meetings, our heads filled with great ideas and new ways for approaching the same old challenges, and we say nothing. We don't offer our opinions, our take on the subject. We sit, our heads filled with self doubt, and non stop questions. What if I am totally wrong? What if I look stupid? No one else seems to be looking at it this way, will I be laughed at? And whilst we go through this mental hand-wringing, the men are actually tossing out ideas, and everyone claps them on the back and says well done. But sometimes these ideas get shot down, and sometimes they are laughed at, and sometimes they don't have the full grasp of the problem at hand, but they take a stab at it anyway.

And you know what I noticed? They don't care. It just doesn't bother them to be wrong, or make a mistake, or not get it right the first time.

So they progress, because every time this happens, they learnt something, they understood a little more about how everything works and fits together. Meanwhile we are still sitting there, silent, allowing our fear, fear from the stories we tell ourselves, to prevent us from showing that we are smart, and we know what's going on, and that we do want seat at the table.

So if there was one message that I hope we got across last night was this:

Be confident in your different views, and outlooks, and opinions. Embrace your level of experience and be open to making mistakes and learning from them. It's ok to have a different opinion. We know through years of studies and data that companies with a greater level of thought diversity are more successful. Be comfortable knowing that even when your idea wasn't adopted, you were still instrumental in driving the conversation to the idea that was.

It's not a man vs woman thing, it a you thing.

You have the power to change the dynamic of meetings and interactions. You can decide how you react to every situation, and as a result impact your own career.

The power to do anything you want already exists in you - just let it out!