Small Talk - It can be practicised!
➡️Tip 1: Imagine you are playing table tennis! Lots of interaction and little interventions. (You don’t hold the ball for too long!) LESS IS MORE.
➡️Tip 2: You don’t need to be Mr Extrovert.
✅How you ask questions and how you listen with interest – can contribute a great deal to the success of a ‘coffee point' conversation.
✅There are lots of people who love to talk and love to be heard!
➡️Tip 3: I would challenge this statement ‘You are either skilled in that type of social chit-chat or not! You cannot prepare for small talk.’
✅Undoubtedly coffee point conversation can be more fluid and wider ranging than an analysis of a particular spreadsheet. However, focus on your inputs and have some questions ready to go.
➡️Tip 4: Know that when operating in a semi-formal style with colleagues you don’t need to speak in full sentences (good weekend?).
➡️Tip 5: Note that the ‘ing’ form is useful when making small talk in a semi-formal style. ‘How are you doing/how is it going?’ - rather than ‘How do you do/I hope you are well.’
➡️Tip 6: Some example questions:
Consider how to keep your questions open, encouraging your audience to speak.
✅‘Good weekend?’
✅‘How is the week going?’
✅‘Any plans for the weekend?’
✅How is it going with …. (client/project/house project etc…?)’
✅'What is the weather like over there?'
✅'Did you watch the game/Did you see the film/series….?'
✅'How was the IT training on….?'
➡️Tip 7: When you ask these types of questions. There are little words in English that I like to call ‘sustainers’. These little words/phrases/follow up questions encourage the other person to keep speaking
✅'‘That is cool, where did you go…/when was that.…/what was it like….?'
✅'Really!'
✅'That sounds great'
Note: These words work when it is obvious from your body language that you are really listening! In abstract they for sure feel a little fake!
I hope these seven tips were useful. If you would like to find out more about my coaching - get in contact with toby@tlp.lu.
Have a good evening.
Toby