Self-Awareness Practices

For some people, mindfulness is synonymous with sitting cross-legged on a cushion chanting “ohm.” Let’s demystify that idea. The Olympics are starting in Tokyo now; watch any event, and you’ll see the practice and results of mindfulness. These athletes have achieved the pinnacle of their sport by paying close attention to what they are doing, how they are feeling, and remaining curious about what they are missing. They build systems that help them constantly monitor progress and use the answers to improve. They do this because they want to be the best diver, boxer, or footballer they can be. My suggestion is that if you’re going to be the best leader you can be, you should engage in similar practices.

Pay Attention

At its core, mindfulness is simply paying attention.  But, paying attention is one of those things that is far easier to talk about than to do. Life moves fast, and it’s filled with distractions. How often do you end your day or week thinking it’s been a blur of activity? How often are you able to connect specific activities to specific results? Is your day filled with actions that you have carefully chosen to produce certain results? Do you take time to review how your week went? To analyze what worked and what didn’t? 

Try this: Start each day thinking about what you want to accomplish, what actions you need to take, and getting clear about what success looks like. End each day with a dispassionate review of how you did. Did you accomplish what you intended to? Why or why not? What adjustments do you need to make? To be clear, this shouldn’t be time-consuming—minutes, not hours, should be invested in this. 

Get More Data

As important as paying attention is, don’t rely solely on your point of view. Reduce blind spots by seeking out feedback. It’s uncomfortable to ask for, but it’s critical in gaining a holistic sense of your leadership. You can read other things I’ve written about feedback in team settings and 1:1 feedback, but in a nutshell, here are two things you need to do: 

• Be specific. It’s not, “How am I doing?” it’s, “I’m trying to pay attention to how clearly I’m communicating in meetings—did you notice anything in that meeting I could have done better?”
• Be grateful. There are two words (and only two words) that are appropriate after getting feedback: Thank you. It doesn’t matter if you agree with the observation. It doesn’t matter if you plan to act on the feedback. All that matters is that this person took a risk and did something you asked them to do. So, say, “Thank you,” and move on. 

Tracking

Since you’re paying attention and collecting data from others, it’s worth your time to track it. Documenting what you notice allows you to look back over time and spot trends (yet another data point). You will likely find that certain behaviors are linked to specific triggers, and that may lead to a breakthrough on how to improve. This process should not be time-consuming or complicated. Most of my clients use simple spreadsheets with weekly notes about what they are observing. Some people keep hand-written journals. If you're going to set aside time each day or week to think about how you did, make a note at that time. A sentence or two is usually enough. 

If you get serious about taking a hard look in the mirror, you will uncover behaviors that can be improved. Don’t be afraid of that revelation. Remember, your looking didn’t create the gap—it unveiled it. Likely, plenty of other people already knew. Once you know better, you must do better. When you were blissfully unaware of what behaviors need to be addressed, you could get by doing nothing. Once you uncover what you can improve, inaction is unacceptable. Two final thoughts to leave you with: none of us is as self-aware as we think we are; we all have blind spots. Also, while most of the actions I’ve recommended can be done all on your own, looking for guidance from a professional coach will increase your likelihood of success.