Navigating the college application process – TIPS for PARENTS
Every year parents in untold numbers approach us with a lot of hope to support their child in navigating the maze of college admissions. From where we see it, this too is another milestone in their lifelong journey but like any other milestone, the stress quickly takes over the joy of striving towards the milestone.
The great American poet, Walt Whitman wrote: “O the joy of my spirit – it is uncaged – it darts like lightning.” Only an individual who is confident and aware of himself can feel the depth of these lines. It is also pertinent to note that feeling this joy is not conditional upon accumulating wealth, prestige and power - the typical, defined parameters of happiness of our human world. So, the real struggle is not reaching the goal itself. The actual struggle is to inculcate in students the importance of challenging themselves, of asking questions, of standing up again even when they have failed, of creating something that they can call their own. Forging these qualities is what will empower them and aid them in being happy and hence successful.
So, here are our 4 tips (for parents) as we embark on a new academic session:
1. First, clarify the real purpose of education in your own mind. Education is mostly about imbibing the values that the institution stands for than just narrowly about acing subjects and passing with distinction and getting a good job. People take care of careers, careers don’t take care of people. In short, building yourself as an individual who thinks about others, collaborates with others, and brings their positive qualities to shine is far more important. Focusing on these aspects is not foolish and tired advice, it is, in fact, the only way in which the youth can be empowered for life. So, more important than checking out the alumni salaries (by all means check this out too) is really trying to grasp what kind of values does the university promote and work with and if that resonates with you.
2. Don’t fall for stereotypes: Do not overindulge in conversations with relatives, other parents, friends of friends, etc on what will work for your child. There are definitely many more colleges and universities out there than you have ‘heard’ of. There are a plethora of good resources that can be accessed to help you and your child take this decision independently. Along the way, place your faith in that one person (mostly a guidance counselor) and trust him/her wholeheartedly.
3. Students should direct their own learning: It is astounding how when we ask students questions like “What matters to you?”, “Why would you call yourself responsible?”, “Why do you want to go to college?”, most students draw a blank. Unfortunately, the pressure to reach the finishing line (the goal) is so intense that many don’t mind that their child is dragged to the finishing line because at least he will finish the race. Such an approach will never aid them. Allowing them to lead this process is the best gift that you will give to your child. Let them be in the driving seat no matter what the pace they are driving at.
4. Exploring one’s interest is key: Students will always enjoy what they are interested in and through continuous exploring, this interest typically becomes a passion. However, this interest could be academic or non-academic or both. Let’s embrace that and encourage them to carve their own niche by continuing to explore. Summer school, extra-curricular activities, internships, community service, all exist for this reason and not as a formula to get admission to a particular college. Rather than asking, “What will it take for my child to get into University X?”, you should be asking, “Which University will allow my child to continue exploring what she/he is interested in?”
We promise you that if you apply even one (we hope you can apply all four) of these, you would be well on your way to raising an empowered and happy individual.