Listening to self

Disciple was in agony. Saint noticed that but kept quiet. The pain grew more. It was very much visible in his actions. Saint kept quiet. Finally, disciple asked the saint, "Everything I say seem to go wrong. What I want to communicate does not get communicated, the choice of words seems to be wrong and so on. So, there is so much confrontation that happens and so much gap in what I intended to communicate what the audience get. Then I try to correct, but they are stuck with my previous statements, and it is never ending. I am so tired of this! It drains my energy so much."

Saint said, "Okay, what do you want to do about it?" I want to improve on communicating. I don’t know how! said the disciple with a sigh.

Well, tell me about this. Who listens to you first when you speak? Asked saint.

People who can listen what I say or if you need a scientific answer, the person who is physically closer to me.

Okay scientific person you got that one right. Who listens to you before you speak?

Are you making fun of me? Are you testing my scientific temper? Are you telling me about reading my mind or something?

No. If somebody can hear before you speak, it must be you. You are the one who would speak, and you tune in to that stream of words before you speak. Then it is easier to choose to speak those words or not.

God, that sounds so easy, the disciple replied with a bit of an astonishment.

Once you get it, it is easy. Until then it is just a possibility that you can live into. You need to be aware of that possibility and practice the listening every moment you speak, I mean the moments before you speak, said the saint with a smile.

Disciple saw the possibility and practice in action in saints talk.

"But, wait!" said the disciple. "The other day, in the masters classroom, when a fellow disciple countered your point and pushed you to the wall you did not say a thing. Why was that?"

I saw what I was going to say at that moment and I did not like it, I did not find an alternate answer to counter and I got wild as well. So I kept quiet at that time. We had a good conversation later. You see, we are all alike with a wee bit of difference here and there. You must start seeing that fact, replied the saint.