Just Doing My Job
Apparently, I saved someone’s life.
It’s easy to forget that there are many incidents when working on the railway. On Friday, 3rd April 2020, I had my first experience dealing with one, and I’ll be honest- it shook me.
I happened to be running late that day- something unusual for me. I reached Portchester train station to catch the next train to work. A seventeen-year-old passenger was on the phone with the police (although the call was disregarded because I had arrived). A woman was on the platform threatening to take her own life. Another passenger had already stopped her from doing so before my arrival; now, it was my responsibility. I felt my whole body panic as I abandoned my things to deal with her. She was in a state and had an eleven-year-old daughter sitting beside her. Onboarding training covered dealing with vulnerable passengers and conflict but could never have fully prepared me for this situation. The daughter asked if we could take her home, and the woman became agitated. She had suffered emotional trauma and struggled to cope, inadvertently scaring her child. Talking to me unleashed an emotional outburst.
I phoned Trespass and Welfare colleagues from Fratton to come and assist me. While waiting for them to arrive, another train passed through the station, and the fear that the increasingly distressed woman would seize that opportunity terrified me. I sat with her, praying she’d stay put, keeping her talking and sharing her pain. Eventually, her emotions eased and she started to calm down.
Thankfully two police officers decided to check on the situation, despite being told to disregard it, arriving shortly before my colleagues.
Upon arrival, the Welfare Officers from Fratton talked to the lady. Although calm, she became agitated again and left the station with her daughter. From there, our powers and ability to help dissolve. The police went to keep an eye on her to see if they could find any cause for concern to be able to get her details.
I made a report to the British Transport Police to keep all local stations on alert. Then the day continued as usual with another shift at work. I was left wondering what would happen to this woman and her daughter. Would they be ok? Would they return to the station? Would she actually take her life, and would her daughter have to suffer that? I still don't have the answers to these questions. I checked the news multiple times and, thankfully, haven’t seen any fatality reports.
I arrived at Fratton Station to start my shift and then went to Portsmouth Harbour. My colleagues at both stations were so lovely. They could see I was shaken and took me under their wings. They shared their experiences of similar [and worse] situations, and I was reminded that this is a harsh reality of the railway. Still, it did help me to normalise my feelings.
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After a few days, I posted the story on Facebook as a plea to friends struggling with mental health in the lockdown to talk to people when they feel they are suffering rather than taking drastic actions. I received much praise from that post. Despite people saying they're proud of me, I don't feel I did much. I just talked to her like an average person and called for help.
Although I’m grateful that the situation didn’t progress any further, unfortunately, this isn’t always the case. I feel for my colleagues and passengers who have to deal with these very real, scary situations. I feel for the people who find themselves at that breaking point where this feels like their only option. I can’t help but think that if we had a more robust support network in our society, perhaps we could reduce suicides (and attempts).
A few people in my life have battled their struggles, and there are many people in the world with issues happening behind closed doors. We are in a society that suffers in silence through the shame of admitting problems. I beg you, please, to talk to people. Whatever is going on, please, do not suffer in silence. Please do not let problems fester into drastic points of no return. I promise there is always a solution, and more importantly, there is always someone that cares. Someone will always listen to you.
Please look after your mental health and check on your friends and family. Reach out to a stranger. Even the strongest struggle sometimes.
One person can make a difference, and everyone should try. - John F. Kennedy
** A special thank you to the guys from Fratton and the Police Officers that chose to come despite being told not to. I don’t know what I would have done without them. Thank you to the two Officers from BTP that listened to my shaken ramble of events over the phone. Thank you to my railway family at Fratton and Harbour that looked after me on Friday night. I’m so grateful for these amazing guys! Much love to you all!