Having the courage to try something new

How often have you heard that "growth starts when we move beyond our comfort zone?" How many of us actually push ourselves to a place where we are uncomfortable, and we have to learn and grow? Why not? I believe that too often we let fear dictate our lives and we let fear keep us insulated within the safe existence of our normal everyday life. We retreat to the safety of this normal and prefer this existence (even though we say we don't) because we understand it, it's comforting to us, we know what to expect. It's safe.  

It's like driving a beat-up old car with 275,000 miles on it that has rust and knocks and rattles and problems. We know what to expect and we can deal with it. We know the heat doesn't work right, that the washer-fluid pump doesn't spray, that the rear-defrost doesn't work. We know that we can just crank up the radio to drown out those weird engine noises. Many of us would rather accept this old car the way and all its issues than deal with buying a new one. But, why?   

Humans are by nature risk-averse. From an evolutionary standpoint we were designed to be cautious. Such caution kept us safe from the potential lion waiting in the bushes to eat us. "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" as the saying goes. Better to have one bird for sure then to take a chance at two birds in the bush and end up with none (or worse getting eaten by that lion).  So what do we do? We play it safe.

Sure, the new change we crave might be exciting, and life changing, and get us closer to what we say we want in life, that new car might be great...but, what if the opposite is true? What if it gets worse? What if we end up hurt emotionally, we lose money on a venture, we end up more dissatisfied than when we started, or that new car is a lemon? Then it would all be a waste, it would all be for nothing, then you're worse off than when you started!  

Instead, we create a life that allows us to stay the same, a life that doesn't allow us to try new things that may push us to grow. We don't try new things that scare us. We don't try new things out of fear. We know how it is now and we can deal with this reality, because it's normal to us. We can see it and feel it everyday. Instead of risking and putting ourselves out there, which creates fear, we create reasons why we "can't" do something.

In reality we may in fact be "too busy," but we create this busyness by design. We make the choice to be too busy.   

The most common reason I hear of why we can't do something, and I'm sure you've heard it too, is "I don't have the time."  

Some common variations of the "I don't have the time" excuse are: "If only I didn't have X to do, I could accomplish Y," "When X is done, THEN I can start on Y". "I'll never be able to do X until Y is done first." I'm sure you have heard others variations of these phrases, and you have probably said them yourself. I know I have.  

These are all reasons we give ourselves so we don't have to risk, to try something new that might backfire, so we don't have to put ourselves out there and face rejection or risk failing to accomplish our goal.  

If we put ourselves out there and try, and then fail, we have no one to blame but ourselves. If we can fall back on the excuse of "I don't have the time" we have that as a safety net, a rock-solid, concrete example that we can point to and say "See, I am busy, I'd love to, but...".  

Here's the kicker though: in reality we may in fact be "too busy," but we create this busyness by design. We make the choice to be too busy, often times subconsciously. Instead of facing our fears and risking, trying and maybe failing, we busy ourselves with such things as social media, binge-watching Netflix, pursuing other hobbies, working longer hours at work, sleeping in, immersing ourselves in our kid's after-school activities, etc. Anything to prevent us from making the time for what we "say" we really want. We really do have the time, we just choose X over Y consistently. If we remove X and made more time available, then we'd have no excuse not to try Y. And trying Y and failing is often too great of a risk for many of us to face. 

But many times, facing our fears and trying something isn't so bad! Not as bad as we thought at least. For example, many people never even apply for a promotion at work, or a new job, because of their fear of the job interview. We think it's better to stay in our current job, where it's safe, than have to take a risk and face the dreaded interview-panel. But, those who muster the courage and take the leap consistently say that it wasn't so bad, that the reality was better than what their imagination created. 

This is only one example of how we as humans fear the unknown that lies ahead and instead stay in our comfort zone.

What is so bad about failing that we avoid it at all costs?

But, is this the best we can do? What is so bad about failing that we avoid it at all costs? Is it the fear of what others might say about us? Do we fear their potential judgement or ridicule (how often does that actually happen anyways)? Or worse, do we fear what we might say to ourselves in our own heads.  

What's preventing you from having the courage to try something new, to get outside of your comfort zone, from taking a chance to complete one of your "always wanted to do" goals? What life have you chosen to build up around you to insulate you, protect you, and prevent you from even trying? 

There are no more lions waiting in the bushes to eat us, so the physical danger is no longer there, so what would it be like to courageously take a risk, live with the presence of fear in our lives, and take a chance anyway?  

Other Articles by Chris Schatz:

•  Why are half of us are dissatisfied with our jobs? 
• What I Learned By Trying to Read 100 Books in a Year 
• Your Success is Determined by the Obstacles You've Overcome
• The Root of our Unhappiness
• The 6 P's to Accomplishing Your New Year's Resolutions

Chris Schatz is a writer, teacher, and speaker whose purpose is to help provide a path for others to improve their lives and fulfill their potential. He is the author of "Dad, You Were Right: Reflections from a Stubborn Son", available on Amazon. Follow him on Facebook.