GROWTH, SUCCESS – BLINDNESS?
If we’re smart, focused, and lucky – we evolve, we grow! That’s good, right? Mostly it is – of course. However, growth and success can be oddly blinding. Humans find it very easy to forget where they came from and how they once thought. I’m not talking about forgetting what you were like twenty years ago. That’s normal. How about three years ago? It only takes a year or two in a new context to nearly erase thoughts of the old you.
One day you’re an individual contributor navigating life with your peers. The next you’ve been promoted twice, you’re a manager, and your daily experience at work looks nothing like it did a few years back. You’re no longer thinking as much about technical skills or process flows. Now you’re thinking about budgets, managing people, and politics. Here’s the thing – the decisions you make impact people just like the old you. Accurately recalling that old version of yourself is useful in thinking about the impact of the decisions you currently face.
The challenge is that your success has created blind spots. You sometimes succumb to overconfidence. Due to your general belief in yourself you fall into routines without thinking critically, and you often discount feedback way too much. The very things that helped you grow: humility, open-mindedness, and an assumption that you did not know it all, are now often absent. And you’re mostly unaware of it.
Whether you gain awareness of this issue on your own or someone else clues you in, what exactly can be done about it? Here are three simple ideas to get you started:
First, embrace the front lines. Smart senior professionals use a personal board of advisors that includes younger professionals. Or, at a minimum, they cultivate relationships downward as much as they do laterally or upward. Don’t lose touch with versions of the old you. You need a young mentor naïve enough to tell you the truth. They see the world differently than you do and you need to understand their perspective.
Next, assume you’re missing something. One of the most difficult parts of the success trap is that you stop questioning your assumptions. Lots of data says you’re bright, experienced, and in control – so why waste time questioning your assumptions? I understand, kinda. But you’re going to start assuming you’re off a little. For any given decision, start by articulating the two or three assumptions underlying your position. Ask if they are valid. More specifically, ask in what ways they are invalid. Assume the assumptions are bad and figure out why. It’s a useful mental activity for any significant decision.
Finally, go further and actively solicit dissent. Share your potential decision with a few key confidants who will be honest with you. State your assumptions. Tell them to poke holes in your logic. Then do the hard thing and be quiet. When they speak up, stay quiet. When you finally speak up, encourage them to say more, to explain further. Genuinely seek to understand. Incidentally, the more sincere you are the more one or two of them over time will start to share with you without you having to beg them for input.
Hard earned success is a beautiful thing, just be aware of the downside. A person who remembers to embrace youth and remember who they once were, who remembers to question their assumptions, and who is willing to overtly solicit dissent – that’s a person who enjoys growth and success with as little blindness as possible!
WHAT’S UP WITH DR. D?
Couse edits continue. Cool.
I’m exploring new ways to automate production of Creswall via AI. Fingers crossed. A fun one I wrote the other day:
Panel 1
Isabelle: Most servant leadership is just acting.
Cres: Sharks learning to fake caring?
Panel 2
Recommended by LinkedIn
Isabelle: If they get enough reps, it looks real.
Cres: Believable beats benevolent. Bummer.
So cynical – I know! lol
Did I mention I’m buying a really nice minivan? Long story, more later. Most guys my age get weird and buy a Corvette or a Harley. I’m buying a Toyota Sienna. I’m strangely excited.
Did I mention I’m moving? Still near Houston, but out away from the city. This is because I have now officially lived through probate. More about that harrowing experience in a book that will surprise you, coming soon.
Two resources – the first is a recipe that I made last night for dinner with my son Parker. It’s a modified version of something I found online. Mouth-watering delicious, cheap, easy to make, and highly nutritious. Sauté onions and garlic in a little butter, add crushed tomatoes and tomato sauce, thyme, oregano, chipotle peppers in adobo sauce, smoked paprika; simmer, add chicken broth, a cup of milk, a cup and a half of Greek yogurt, two cans of cannellini beans, diced red bell pepper, the juice of one lime and one orange; drop in white fish of your choice (I used tilapia) which will cook in 5 minutes or less in the simmering sauce; plate the dish in a bowl top with a little feta cheese and serve with crusty warm bread. Savory goodness. Parker loved it.
Second resource – Lainey Wilson. Country fan or not, she’ll grow on you. I love music documentaries and I’m a casual country fan. I saw one about her called Lainey Wilson: Keepin’ Country Cool on Netflix. Huge fun. Check it out.
And for no reason at all, I'm including a picture of Rachel in her basket on my bike from a few days ago. You’re welcome.
Until next time – go learn something, maybe help someone, or at least do something interesting!
Books: https://tinyurl.com/yvwuvmaw
Speaking live: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8uM79vw_Teo
Book me: https://www.drdewett.com
The promotion to manager was where we saw the biggest drop in self-awareness across organisations. The ones who kept asking their teams what was actually getting in the way tended to be the ones who never lost touch.
well, yeesh, thank god I have all 3 - humility, open-mindedness, and an assumption that I NEVER not know it all - in SPADES! so maybe I am still growing? 😅
Thank you Todd Dewett, PhD – your note touches on something that tends to repeat itself, largely independent of time or context. Many writings across different times and traditions have captured similar observations, spanning centuries and very different contexts. Yet, throughout history – and in the course of our own development – we repeatedly encounter moments where a more careful examination of our actions would be warranted. Instead of a minivan, one might also consider a classic car – something that gently reminds you, on a daily basis, that reflection and care still matter. What would you make of that? Or would it simply be another case of an ageing man in an ageing car?
Thank you for reminding me Todd Dewett, PhD, that the frustration I've experienced while building something new is exactly where I'm supposed to be. It means I'm not exploiting what I already now, but pushing myself to learn something new.
Another fantastic post, my friend. Do you mind if I share this with my Ripple community? I swear, every Rippler needs to know you and your work.