The Frustration of False Negative Decisions
When you are rejected for a job, by a potential customer, or maybe even a date, remember this: The decision maker has probably been burned many times. They still remember those losses in a dark, visceral way. You know you put your best foot forward but there were one or two question marks. That’s all it takes sometimes. I can remember many a time where I didn’t make the cut and how frustrating it was. Nowadays it’s me making the decisions about people in my real estate business and I get to be the one causing angst in peoples’ lives.
It’s a form of stereotyping, really. The decision maker has formed a stereotype of the wrong person encompassing many characteristics. You only need to show one or two of those characteristics to be put in there too. You really can’t blame them. Those bad decisions in the past have caused much pain and suffering to them and the people around them. They want to avoid the mistake more than they want to make the correct decision.
In my classes I used to call this a false reject error (or false negative). You should have been chosen but the decision maker said no. False positives (or incorrect accept errors) are when you said yes but should have said no. False positives are much more costly than false negatives. Thus, decision makers are much more predisposed to making false negative decisions and rejecting you than to make potentially false positive decisions.
So, what’s the point? First, of course, don’t take rejection too seriously. (I know, your mom already told you this but a reminder never hurts.) Secondly, the less information a decision maker has about you the more likely they are to stereotype and go by a few noticeable characteristics. Sometimes you have to get a lower job with the company for people to see enough to say yes to the job you really want. Third, be ready for the day when you make the decisions and are the same way. I reject people all the time who might make good tenants or workers. Unfortunately, they share the same characteristics as people who have been terrible tenants or workers. I have no real choice but to reject them all because I cannot tell the difference with the amount of information available. I have gotten much more at peace with people being upset with me right away than all of us being upset for a long, long time while we figure out it isn’t working. False negatives are a way of life. You just have to keep plugging through enough no’s to get to the yes.
