Finding my new ‘beat’ while others find theirs

The short early-March vacation post a work trip with my lovely colleagues kept me in an oblivious world for a while at least. Thankful for that little getaway to Mexico City - it gave some of us vacation memories to survive till our next one which now seems like a reality of the distant future.

The gravity of the evolving environment began to hit me as I was transiting back to Bangalore, a stark difference from our onward journey. The thought of being self-quarantined on return didn’t matter as much when very soon the whole organization went into a Work From Home mode. What hit me however was the changing enormity of the pandemic situation and its evolving impact, which wasn’t the case less than a week earlier, when we were among herds of our kind enjoying the Xochimilco experience, the hot air balloon ride over the Teotihuacan pyramids, e-biking across the city or just devouring  our favourite guacamole and tortilla chips in local eateries. I had also travelled back continents not knowing if I carried the virus along with me. When I completed the home quarantine period, it was a relief...phew!, but by no means did it take away the seriousness of the havoc the virus was still creating around us.

In a matter of a few days, realities of life began to stare at me every day, both at home and at work. Never the one to really enjoy the daily household chores, I had limited options but to literally get my hands dirty when my ever bankable and trusted aides could no longer be around to help me. To top that, things at work only got more hectic. As I look back at the past month, I for sure went through the ups and downs of a roller coaster ride, tried the many tips and tricks that came my way and eventually figured my own new rhythm like many others. In reflection, the pandemic crisis was equivalent to an agile crash course in managing self. A few hacks helped me sail through so far:

Being conscious and aware of thoughts, feelings and emotions – Each of these were ever changing with the evolving situations around us. As days passed it began to dawn upon me that being at home, influenced by the many lives I was trying to live started showing up in my thoughts, feelings and behaviours. I soon figured that I needed to first start by being aware of what ran on my mind and how I felt about it. While I could deal with some of that myself, it often helped when I shared with others as well. Talking about what I thought and how I felt made it easier to acknowledge reality. Being realistic about what is in my control and what was not was in itself grounding and calming. There was also a strong realization that everyone else around me was coping in their own ways. An extra dose of understanding and empathy more than ever before, both at home and with my teams and stakeholders at work, was a new requirement. The virtual office environment wasn’t helping much as it took me a higher level of listening capabilities to connect to emotions on the other side. I coincidentally also happened to watch a TED talk a friend and colleague shared where Susan David speaks about How to be your best self in times of crisis . Here she refers to emotional agility - The ability to be with ourselves and others in fullness and in ways that are compassionate and filled with curiosity. It resonated with me in more ways than one now.

Leaning in on my ecosystem – In these past weeks I have been more grateful than ever for the wonderful ecosystem of friends, aides, colleagues and family who are in my life. While this new reality has grounded me in ways I could not imagine, the one reinforcement that it has given me is the value of nurturing human relationships. I am only glad that I did my little bit through the many decades to create my little bankable bonds which are now my pillars of emotional strength, safety and joy. These are the many people with whom I share my fears, my joys, my anxiety, the laughs, the frustrations and all the other emotions that there possibly can be. These also include the many friends and mentors who I lean in on to navigate through my work world. The people I can be vulnerable and have the heart to heart chats with. What a blessing it is to have them as my valuable support system! I do not take this for granted and hope I never do. This continued reflection also offered me a realization that I could maybe try and be the safe space for a few others who need it. Having non-work centric chats over over a tea or perhaps a stronger beverage, a whole meeting only to discuss the stories behind our virtual backgrounds, just talking about our messed up days so that others find it comforting to share their own, are all the tiny little stress busters that lighten up my new world.

Discovering my own rhythm and bliss – With everyone’s situation so unique to their individual environment, there is no one solution to surviving in this new world. While many good thoughts, suggestions and ideas have come my way, including the community challenges on mind games, fitness, cooking and entertainment, I soon realized that I needed to find my own rhythm, one that gives me joy and satisfaction and more importantly sanity. Taking care of myself physically, mentally and emotionally was as important as the intent of lending a shoulder to my family, teammates and friends. I needed the energy myself to be able to energize anyone else who needed my support. I soon found my rhythm in my gratitude journal, my indigenous workouts, my rekindled passion for weekend cooking (“weekends only” to be specific!) all in the chaos and sanity of my home and a little beyond. While I do miss the socializing - both personal and professional, I think I’ve found a sweet beat which I call my own now, a goodness in there that is hopefully sustainable and enjoyable too.

Whether the joys came from my solo self-reflective workouts, the non-work chats with my colleagues or the delight of a newly tested dish being wiped out clean, the acknowledgement and acceptance of the new realities and the realization that each person’s situation is so unique to them was as important. As we all deal with the many distractions, the many competing personal and professional priorities, the experiences and learnings, I hope I’ve found my way to a new beat as others around me find their own too.