Everyone’s gettin’ jiggy with EQ: a 90’s throwback

I’ve always been a big fan of the 90’s. I was in my first 15 years of life by the time that decade ended. It was Da Bomb! We had MC Hammer pants, scrunchies (which are cool again), and I bet you didn’t know Super Nintendo came out the same year the term emotional intelligence was coined. Isn’t it ironic?

No, it’s not really ironic, but it’s all classic 90’s.

Two researchers, Peter Salavoy and John Mayer, wrote the article “Emotional Intelligence” in 1990. Then Dan Goleman took it to the next level in 1995 with his book, Emotional Intelligence (EQ): Why It Can Matter More than IQ. Thanks to Peter and John, Goleman is cited as the guru having defined the five core components of EQ:

1. Self-awareness
2. Self-regulation
3. Motivation
4. Empathy
5. Social Skills

In short, EQ is the ability to understand and manage your emotions. The thesis of the early works is that EQ is just as important as IQ for effective development in your personal and professional life.

Booyah!

I’m sold. Are you? Stick with me if you want a few more reasons why this matters.

1. Emotional intelligence instruction elevates child and healthy youth development along with human affairs as a whole.

Unless you earned a higher education degree that covered this stuff or were voluntold to learn it somehow through a mental health rehabilitation experience, or you’re just one of those seekers of personal development, you likely haven’t had much formal training in this area, which can be a living nightmare. Think about it…

Worldwide, 70% of people face at least one Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE), aka trauma (Bruskas, 2013). If, as children, we aren’t taught emotional intelligence, how do we cope? Well, most people without training will take on maladaptive coping behaviors. Over the years or a lifetime, these can accumulate, escalate, and ultimately leave some people in debilitating situations that can adversely affect others.

How do we solve this? First, we learn how to express our emotions and self-regulate by being aware of how we feel. Then, we know how our feelings and actions can affect others, and we can temper our emotions with healthy boundaries. As a new board member, I’ve been eager to find more ways to share the efforts of national non-profit Equip Our Kids. Our number one goal is to integrate social and emotional learning (SEL) in every pre-K-12 classroom by 2030, a staggering improvement from the current research reporting 75% of kids do not have SEL instruction as a standard in pre-K-12 education. 

2. Emotional intelligence creates psychological safety, which leads to adaptive, innovative performance among individuals, teams and organizations.

We already know we weren’t taught this in school, so how can we expect employees to have the EQ skillset? As an employer myself, I can do everything in my power to attract individuals who have already acquired these skills. Otherwise, whose responsibility is this? I’m going to argue that developing skills in emotional intelligence is a two-way street in the workplace. There needs to be top-down and bottom-up effort. 

Meaning leaders lead by example. They learn the skills and commit to developing themselves first. From there, others will be positively impacted by their training. Next, leaders build this effort into the business strategy, where learning and development in emotional intelligence is protocol and embraced in the everyday flow of work. From the grassroots perspective, it is appropriate for individuals to take ownership of their own personal development. After all, as a corporate leadership development trainer, I know firsthand that those who genuinely want to be there get the most out of it.

In today’s business climate, employees are resigning from organizations across the board due to not investing in their people. As a result, it’s challenging to attract top talent and even more critical to retain who you have. The solution to this is by developing the next generation of leaders from the inside. According to company research, $50 billion is spent annually on leadership development. But, what skills are they investing in? You guessed it -- emotional intelligence is among the top five skills sought after for training among executives. 

3. Emotional intelligence gives us the power to make changes toward greater well-being and quality of life.

In a survey we conducted this year among professionals, we asked the question, “What is your number one single biggest challenge?”. The theme that rose to the top was “making time for personal development.”

Out of the ten core competency areas we asked of leadership development, the most appealing winner right now was “Personal Development, Wellness, & Limiting Stress.” More than half of the respondents selected this as their first choice. To triangulate this further, we also asked, “What transformations are most appealing to you right now?” and the number one response was: “Improved quality of life.”

According to research by the former surgeon general, we know more than 40% of Americans say they’re lonely. In a time when we’re more connected than ever, the type of connection across a multitude of tech platforms that we have today is far less meaningful than sitting down for real genuine, and authentic 1:1 convo. Tech is not human, and it gives us a false sense of connection which is a variable that explains 3 out of 4 workers experiencing burnout in their current jobs (Fisher & Phillips, 2021).

Soft skills such as those required for emotional intelligence develop in our right brain. These human skills are the ones we need for deep connection with others, which requires vulnerability. This term is popular right now because it’s two things: effective and scary AF. It’s terrifying for people to be their authentic selves, especially if the culture they live and work in does not honor and respect difference, makes it safe to express emotion, and actively destigmatizes mental health issues.

Emotional literacy and psychological safety are crucial to well-being and quality of life, whether at work, home, or in your community. When people can be their whole self, express how they feel, and have positive connections with healthy boundaries, we start to lift the fog of cognitive dissonance stemming from the mask or armor so many wear every single day, just to belong. When we step out from our own shadows and have an awareness of why we react in specific ways with certain people and situations, we take power to change in our own hands. 

So, developing emotional intelligence is all that and a bag of chips. It’s great for kids, for the workplace, and you. 

Everyone’s gettin’ jiggy with EQ, how can you?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

We created CxLabs, our 6-month virtual leadership development program. Through weekly live lessons, assignments, and accountability calls, you will experience:

💥 1-hour evidence and research-based live, group training (modules recorded may be accessed any time during enrollment of program)

💥 Up to 50 minutes of 1:1 coaching to ensure progress toward a personal leadership plan

💥 1-hour of communication practice - a forum to enhance skills, develop key messages, learn and implement best practices for leadership communication

💥 Self-guided trainings and tools for personal branding and marketing for business development⠀⠀⠀

Enrollment for our next cohort starting March 1st is open. Head to https://www.kylierowe.com/cxlabs to learn more. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Not sure you’re ready for something so comprehensive? 

Send me a direct message if you would like to discuss a custom program for your organization, or ask me how your organization can align with Equip Our Kids.

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