Don't mess with Mama Bear

If you would have asked me in my 20s or 30s where I would be at today, the answer wouldn’t even come close to how my life has turned. You see, I’m a go-getter. But where I ended up putting that effort changed dramatically due to autism and ADHD. Once my son was diagnosed autistic in 2003 at two years, I applied my two bachelor degrees, computer information systems and business administration, to engage the community of families living in a world of dependency on government programs, lack of knowledge of programs, and a void of positive outcomes for children with this diagnosis.

During the time, my son worked hard learning to learn. My husband and I were active in moving him where he needed to be at that time in his life, and he is now a successful college student and a kind human being. My daughter has challenges with impulsivity and a highly active mind. This resulted in challenges making friends and an exceedingly tricky elementary school experience. But after putting in the work, understanding herself, and acceptance, she is off to college next year and is a massive advocate for neurodivergent individuals.

At one point in all of this, I needed to back off. Stop helicoptering and let them fail and find their way (of course, within reason). As a lover of learning, a curious individual, and a task-oriented individual, I was lost! I had already completed six marathons and an Ironman triathlon. But my mind needed more. So, I did what anyone else would do; I got an MBA. My appetite for knowledge is endless, so I went a little crazy and completed 26 instead of the required 16 courses. I would have taken more, but they were running out of options!

The point of sharing this is to explain that I thought I was working towards the end; it became just the beginning.

I was required to write an entire business plan within eight weeks to complete my MBA. I decided to investigate a business that would help autistic individuals. Not sure where the need was, I started my research. I remember the exact moment my life changed. It is a flashbulb memory I revisit often. I was sitting in my home office in December 2017 reading research. Then I read the words, “85% unemployment rate for autistics”. Then I reread it. I looked for more information. It was true. People like my son, intelligent, kind, diligent, and beautiful thinkers who have worked tirelessly through their youth, were faced with this dismal outcome. Not just autistics, but others like my daughter with ADHD and other learning disorders. Time froze. I froze. I was in utter disbelief.

Then I got mad.

Don’t mess with mama bear, and this mama bear was not okay with this. This mama bear resolves to address this problem. Not knowing what needed to be done, I dove in a started grit & flow without any idea what this organization would do. One thing for sure was addressing unemployment for autistics because these statistics were unacceptable.

Why the name grit & flow? Angela Duckworth’s book, Grit, a component of positive psychology, was always a favorite of mine. I consider myself someone with grit. When I think of my son and others who have been in countless hours of therapies trying to fit into the education and social world forced upon them, these individuals showed grit more than any other population. Another one of my favorite favorable psychology terms, flow, comes from Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. This term is described as being in your ultimate state of engagement. When I think of this term, I think of the connection with autistics’ ability to dive deeply into a preferred topic and excel entirely in all aspects. What if we can put all the grit to work to find a career using this flow state? Why can’t we find a match between person, environment, and job? What employer would not want an employee with these traits?

These questions have focused our intention on grit & flow. We want to change cultures to focus on finding everyone the right fit to use their attributes, like grit, and find a job -environment fit to find their flow.

So, what does this have to do with messing with a mama bear? Well, it has been four years since that moment that changed my life. In this time, I have become a professional in human resources, hold a certificate in diversity and inclusion from Cornell, have created two courses on neurodiversity in the workplace for LinkedIn Learning, and have earned my doctorate in psychology.

I now know the path grit & flow need to take to change inclusive employment for all. I have done the research. I have talked to organizations. I have evaluated my theories. I have intelligent neurodivergent teammates that guide me and grit & flow’s intention every day. 

This mama bear didn’t accept what the world was handing her children. This mama bear set out to change the world.

Don’t mess with mama bears.