Coaching isn't performance — it's practice.

If you want to grow as a coach, you don't need to be impressive — you need to be present.

In this article, I’m going to walk you through how to make the shift from performance to presence in a way that allows you to practice this in your next coaching session.

Why this matters: When you stop trying to "deliver" great coaching, everything gets cleaner. Coaching actually gets better. Easier. The client opens up. Your ability to listen expands. You have more grounded curiosity instead of performance anxiety. And coaching becomes what it's meant to be — a partnership.

Unfortunately… a lot of coaches are performing.

Not because they’re doing anything wrong — but because they care deeply about helping people. Which is often why we are drawn to this work in the first place!

Here are the most common patterns I see:

Reason #1: Trying to find the perfect, brilliant, most powerful question

Reason #2: Feeling responsible for creating a breakthrough

Reason #3: Trying to “prove” you’re good enough through your coaching

And here’s the truth behind all of these: Performance has become your primary mode instead of presence.

The good news? You can shift out of performance mode — and it starts small.

Here’s how to begin practicing presence in your sessions:

Your Practice

Step 1: Release the pressure to be brilliant.

This is the step that creates room for everything else. When you’re trying to be impressive, your attention leaves the client and goes into your head.

Early in my coaching career, a mentor said to me, “Hannah, stop being cute.” It sounds blunt, but it was exactly what I needed to hear. I was trying so hard to prove something that I forgot to simply be with the person in front of me.

The moment I let go of needing to deliver something clever, my coaching got deeper — instantly (and more of my client's brilliance was in the spotlight!).

Step 2: Notice the exact moments you shift into performance.

Most coaches try to fix the behavior before understanding it. Don’t skip this.

Start paying attention to the cues:

• When do you feel the pressure to take the reins in the session?
• When do you start searching for something smart to say or ask?
• When do you feel the urge to land the plane in the session?

Noticing these moments helps you interrupt the pattern with compassion, not criticism. Ask yourself: “Am I with the client right now — or am I trying to look like a good coach?”

(Note: Notice these moments in the session, but your exploration should be outside the session as this can pull you farther away from your presence with the client.)

Step 3: Come back to presence.

Here’s the encouraging part: Presence is practice. The more you practice to it, the stronger you become as a coach.

Presence is the foundation of the ICF Core Competency Maintains Presence: Staying fully with the client without needing to impress, perform, or steer the outcome.

And here’s the gift in this: When you anchor into presence, sessions become clearer, lighter, and more effective. Clients feel safer. Your intuition can finally breathe. And coaching becomes more fun — and more effective.

Recap

You don’t need to execute the perfect session. You don’t need to be brilliant on cue. You simply need to be here — with your client — fully.

Release the pressure. Notice where you start performing. Find the anchor that helps you return to presence.

And practice.

Thank you for reading.