Building Relationships: 11 Challenges Faced by Small Businesses

Relationships help companies win contracts. The best founders, CEOs, and BDs, are aware of the 11 challenges to develop and maintain relationships I describe below, and others. This article is an excerpt from my upcoming book on business development for federal contractors.

CHALLENGE #1: THE "FOLLOW-UP" CHALLENGE

This occurs frequently after industry events. It is certainly challenging to follow up with all the people we meet. Effective relationship builders have systems and processes to follow up after meeting someone: they use their CRMS to document the main variables of the contact, classify the level of interest, and plan the "what-how-who" of future actions to follow up effectively. Others struggle with this aspect. They may initiate good relationships initially but fail to continue nurturing them, eventually forgetting about the connections they made.

CHALLENGE #2: BEYOND SELLING - FINDING “OTHER” REASONS TO TALK TO TARGETS

The most effective relationship builders develop relationships before they need them. They find reasons to reach out that are not their services or “how can they help”. Why should one contact a target other than for selling purposes? How can one be a business friend before attempting to sell something? Different people find different ways. I call my system "X-friending," which encompasses opportunity-friending, insight-friending, news-friending, interests-friending, and other strategies to help build relationships and make new friends. It’s based on the necessary mindset to build long-term relationships: help others achieve their goals.

CHALLENGE #3: EXTREME EMPHASIS ON EXISTING RELATIONSHIPS

Our federal friends may change jobs, moving away from our main target agency. Our CEO friends retire. Our favorite BD guys change jobs every 3 years. Organizations do change. Are we in trouble then? Yes, if, when we think of relationships, we mainly focus on the ones we have rather than how we can create new ones. The ability to produce something is more important than the quantity of what was already produced.

CHALLENGE #4: NOT GIVING WEAK RELATIONSHIPS DUE IMPORTANCE

Some companies and individuals think they only have a relationship with someone if it is long-standing and strong. They may say, "We go way back," and that's great. However, it is a mistake not to consider the person you met last week as a relationship. It may not be a robust relationship, but it is a relationship nonetheless. Relationships can grow, and, most importantly, weak connections hold significance. "Weak" relationships can go a long way and are a crucial part of our lives in society. Besides, having millions of "best friends" is not a realistic expectation

CHALLENGE #5: "USING A FRIEND" COMPLEX

Some individuals find it challenging to transition a personal relationship into a business one, fearing that they might be "using" their friends or acquaintances for professional gains. The shift from an informal, friendly relationship to a more formal, transactional one can alter the way both parties perceive each other. But the best relationship builders are convinced of the value they bring to society. Providing services, and growing your firm, is something to be proud of, not something to be ashamed of. If we don’t have it, we need to develop the ability to move between personal and business goals. 

CHALLENGE #6: INDIVIDUAL VS. CORPORATE APPROACH

Many companies focus on individual relationships rather than implementing an enterprise-level strategy with systems, processes, best practices, and policies. Since relationships are built one-on-one, person by person, many companies do not take any enterprise-level action in this area. They hire individuals with relationships, but they don’t believe corporations can have an approach.

CHALLENGE #7: NOT STARTING RELATIONSHIPS

The smartest relationship builders never neglect to talk to someone if they encounter them more than once in a corporate environment. They are interested in anyone, almost by definition, and genuinely like people. So, if they come across someone they have seen before, they communicate with them, say hi, learn more about who they are, and initiate a relationship.

CHALLENGE #8: ANALYSIS PARALYSIS

Thinking and talking about relationships often results in demonstrating their importance. Okay, fine! It’s a given. The essential aspect is what firms do about it. There is a long list of topics people talk about regarding the "what," but not enough about the "how"; the topic of relationships tops that list. Smart companies focus on the "how."

CHALLENGE #9: ANCIENT TIMES RELATIONSHIPS APPROACH

The smartest relationship builders leverage virtual events, virtual meetings, video calls, and social media, recognizing their advantages as opportunities. Sometimes, we can exaggerate the "old-fashioned" approach. In the past, the only way to build relationships was through physical meetings, face-to-face. While these types of meetings may never be totally replaced, they are not the only way. However, if that is our sole approach, we will run out of time pretty quickly and fail to develop the volume of relationships that the best ones cultivate.

CHALLENGE #10: THE ILLUSION OF TRYING

One common challenge faced by CEOs when thinking about relationships is underestimating the level of intensity, focus, creativity, and discipline required to communicate with someone. People receive hundreds of emails, and many times they don't pick up the phone because they are in meetings. Thinking that making a phone call is something too meaningful can be a problem. Merely making a single phone call might give the illusion of effort, but in reality, just trying is much more than that. Most of the time, making a phone call is not even the beginning of trying.

CHALLENGE #11: TARGETED VS. NON-TARGETED RELATIONSHIPS

Effective relationship builders adopt a dual approach, combining laser-focused targeting with an openness to forging new non-targeted connections. Non-targeted relationships are to some extent random, presenting unexpected opportunities and fresh perspectives. Targeted relationships are part of either capture or strategic relationship efforts. Both are needed and the systems to be effective are different.