Bucket Lists

I’ve always been intrigued by bucket lists. Sky diving, climbing Mount Everest, sailing around the world, I’ve read about so many people’s incredible quests for experiences and their achievements on their journeys. But to be completely honest, I don’t think I have ever properly had one. Sure, there are plenty of things that I would like to do. I have some LOFTY professional goals (I’ve got my eye on a TED Talk some day).

But I just got back from Disney World with my family, the one thing I’ve wanted to do my entire life. You see, growing up, we had very little. I was raised by a single father and vacations really weren’t a thing. I saw the other kids coming back from tropical getaways tanned and smiling and always wondered what it must be like to have that life. And here I am, living it.

The five days I just spent in Florida didn’t just mean time away from work and a tan. It meant resetting. And now that I am sitting in my living room sipping coffee while my kids are still asleep in their beds, I feel overwhelmed with emotion — well, really, emotions.

Gratitude: We hear so many people talking about gratitude. Some people have a gratitude journal, some people pray, and I have always been thankful for what I have. Especially coming from having little, I appreciate my home, my career, my health, my marriage, my children — all of it. But as I sit here today with some new perspective, I am truly grateful for the opportunity to watch my children make memories that will shape how they choose to spend their time as adults.

Pride: I attended one of the best universities in the country, Lehigh University. But you know what? I never graduated. Life had different plans for me. I became a single mother at 21 years old and the entire course of my existence shifted. I worked from 9pm until 6am and continued courses online while raising an infant, still figuring out how to be an adult myself. From that point on there were times I worked three jobs, switched careers, and dug in so that I could create a future that defied the odds stacked against me. Fast forward 14 years, and that little girl just took five days off from school to enjoy her life. Screw testing and homework for a week; she needed a damn break and I was able to provide that for her and for her little brother. And man, I am so proud of that.

Surprise: I thought it would be harder to unplug myself from work. I felt a pang of uneasiness when I uninstalled Teams from my phone. I worried about goals and clients and forecasts when I shut down my laptop and did not pack it in my suitcase. But once I was on that plane watching the faces of my children as it lifted into the sky, the worries melted away and I felt a tectonic shift in focus. I never thought that I could detach from work as much as I did for so long. But as I swam with my 6-year-old and watched him hug his sister and eat Dole Whip, work felt a million miles away. As my husband delighted in playing arcade games with our children, there wasn’t a moment where I wished I had packed this computer.

Every year, I blow out candles on my birthday cake. And for as long as I can remember, the wish has been the same. I don’t wish for money. I don’t wish for promotions. I don’t wish for fame or success. I wish that my children have happy, healthy, successful lives. And now I get it. A TED Talk is still something that I want to achieve. But my bucket list is about to be written.

I want to see my kids smile on different continents. I want them to sleep in and wake up to a surprise day trip more than a few times a year. I want to swim with them more instead of watching while I do yardwork that is overdue. I want to make pottery with them (I’m a terrible artist, but I don’t care). I want them to worry less about the crushing weight of societal expectations and instead look for balance. I want to teach them that regardless of the path they choose, they can still choose happiness and fulfillment. Success is important, but it isn’t linear and it isn’t defined by one type of achievement; I want them to know that sooner.

So here’s what my blog is about this month:

Use your vacation days — all of them. Leave work, the news, the bills, the redundancies of responsibility behind you for just a few days here and there. And look at the people you love. We often justify the long hours and stress with providing for our families. And that is valid. But don’t forget to provide what they need the most: a life rich with experiences and memories with you.

This blog was originally published by Meatingplace Magazine on 5/24/2022 and can be found at https://www.meatingplace.com/Industry/Blogs/Details/104801