On Becoming More Human at work

The inferno that was rapidly spreading across the room started like nothing. It was not supposed to be a long meeting or so everyone thought until a little comment became a conflagration. 

The root cause of the problem was a comment made by the Head of a Customer Relations team blaming the members of another team for the crisis that almost caused the company money on the closing day of work last week.

The team involved had done everything they can to salvage the error that resulted from a simple programming glitch but by the time they got a handle on the error major damage had been done. Fortunately, it was reversible and they were able to rectify the issue, and everyone went home as nothing happened, that was after the client had called a top gun in the organization. 

The meeting aimed to address the problem and find possible ways to prevent a future re-occurrence, however, the insensitive comments from the Head of the Customer service ruined all of it. 

How do we have honest and productive conversations without stocking flames of discord? How do connect across different ideological divides without tearing one another down? As we move into the turbulent days of automation and AI dominated workplace, the key to survival lies in how we manage our human connections.

1. Take Responsibility 

One of the presuppositions of NLP is that you (the speaker) is responsible for the response or reaction your message elicits. It means if the listener or audience responds in a way or manner that is not consistent with your message, the fault is yours. Taking responsibility puts you in control, contrary to what we think, the ball lies in the court of the speaker. It is up to you to ensure that your intention or your message is communicated in a manner that does not offend or infuriate the person listening to you. There is no hiding from the truth, the bucks end with you. 

 2. Listen 

Active listening has been the holy grail of emotional intelligence but beyond active listening is empathetic listening. In empathetic listening the goal is not to respond intelligently or appropriately, the goal is simply to understand. Sometimes the best response is a simple nod and a warm smile followed by "I understand". People do not essentially want you to say something, in most cases, they simply want to be sure you understand what their message is. More often than not a high percentage of bad responses comes from active listening which tends to be judgmental.

3. Do not judge 

So how do we correct people if we cannot be factual or straight forward? We need to be forthright and call a spade a spade, there is no other way about it. Well if that is what you think you will have many frustrated people working with you. You need to separate constructive criticism from a corrosive judgment which in most cases leave people bitter and deeply hurt. Nobody benefits from attacking others, not even you the perpetrator, your team members will be happier and better if you will hold back on judging and find creative ways to correct and appraise performance. 

4. Care 

If people come to know that you really care about them and that you are on their side they will take your corrections seriously with a good heart. When people know that you genuinely care for them, your comments including the hurtful ones will land on a good soil watered and soaked by love. It is therefore important to show that you care. It is essential to show that you are not just about the job but you care about the welfare of the people on your team. Caring is expensive and costly but it is not as expensive and costly as the alternate option.

5. Connect

If all you do in your organization is work you will soon be in trouble. It is essential to find ways to introduce fun kinds of stuff such as games, parties and no work-related activities into your organization. These activities help us to connect with the human side of ourselves and reveal incredible but otherwise hidden potentials. When that happens it changes the way we relate, the way we perceive and esteem ourselves. 

Empathy has become a big buzz word, one that is in danger of losing its true meaning very soon. Empathy is hard work that requires continuous effort, training, and practice. We can get better at it these things, all it takes is the willingness and the determination to improve. For a start, you can invest in a coaching program for your entire team or mindfulness retreat with me. I am willing to help make working together easier for you and your people. Cheers!