You’re not behind. You’re not inadequate. Your brain is just wired to compare and fixate on gaps. Instead of letting comparison make you feel ‘less than”, try this two-step shift: 1. Flip to gratitude: Pause and acknowledge what you’ve built or what you already have in your life. 2. Move to emulation: Ask yourself, “What can I learn from them?” This transforms your brain’s natural tendency to compare into fuel that propels you forward. It’s how you turn envy into inspiration and admiration into action. :) Straight from the chapter on how to stop comparing in my new book, Big Trust :) Be honest… do you find you tend to compare yourself to others and feel behind?
It's unnecessary to measure yourself against others regarding your existence, circumstances, wants, yearnings, motivations, aims, targets, ambitions, advancement, or future plans. You are an original individual possessing your own insights, understanding, sagacity, and life experiences. There's no comparison. Embrace your genuine self, dedicate yourself to making a difference, and aim to be remembered for the good you bring. What are your perspectives?
Comparison is just your brain looking for patterns, it doesn’t mean you’re behind. Gratitude and curiosity turn that energy into progress instead of pressure.
One thing I do whenever I catch myself comparing, I jot one concrete action I can take from that person today. Turns FOMO into a to-do, not a pity party.
Blind Comparison is the thief of progress. But comparison taken in right way, can be police of your growth. So start learning from, who' are better and worst then you, and apply it on yourself to become more better. Gratitude is magnet to attract prosperity. I love to learn from you. Dr. Shadé Zahrai you share great insights, every time. Keep growing 🙌
When you catch yourself comparing your progress to others — do you default to gratitude first, or emulation? The neuroscience suggests gratitude creates the psychological safety needed before emulation can work. Without that foundation, "learning from others" becomes another form of self-criticism. What's your experience been when trying to shift this pattern with your teams?
For me, comparison used to sneak in on the days I lost track of my own definition of success. Defining that first by working with a coach, was uncomfortable yet so needed in my recovery & growth journey. I love the reminder that sometimes the envy is just showing you what's possible for you too. When we tap into curiosity mode, and reflect on what can be done differently, it transforms the energy into action.
Powerful reframe, Shadé. Comparison becomes dangerous when it stays emotional. It becomes useful when it turns into direction. Gratitude grounds you, emulation moves you forward.
Comparison rarely goes away Shadé. In my experience it just gets quieter the longer you keep going. The people I've mentored who struggled most with it weren't the ones who felt behind, but those who stopped producing while they were feeling it. The two steps here are good but the real move is writing the next paragraph anyway.
Such an important topic. I think comparison often has its roots in childhood and culture, sometimes even reinforced by well-meaning parents as a form of motivation. But in adulthood, it can become quite crippling. That’s why practical tools like those you've shared are so valuable. This isn’t just about comparison in the workplace, it’s also about healing from early experiences that may have shaped deep feelings of inadequacy. A much-needed conversation.