I was on a networking call with someone I had just met. He asked me, “How can I help you?” And I had no idea. I didn’t really know him well enough to answer because I didn't know what he has access to. Nor did I feel completely comfortable asking for a favor. So instead of returning the ineffective question back to him, I asked a different question. I asked, “What are your top priorities? What are your biggest challenges?” He shared and I quickly identified three ways to help him. Here’s the lesson: 🍊 Don’t ask people, “How can I help you?” 🍊 Ask about their priorities and challenges. 🍊 OFFER ways to add value. Don't make them guess what you would be willing to do for them. This is the key to networking that actually works. When you focus on helping others first, opportunities find you naturally. What’s one way you’ve added value to someone recently? P.S For more tips on how I was able to quickly create a large LinkedIn following, check out my presentation on “How to 10x Your Personal Brand Using LinkedIn & Attract Clients, Speaking Engagements, and Jobs.” It’s linked in the comments!
I like this - I am always at a loss for words when someone asks how they can help me. It's very well intentioned and I still appreciate the concept, but it doesn't usually lead to me asking for anything meaningful.
I just intro people who should meet. Works every time 👋
I love all of your work!
This is such a simple shift, but it makes networking 10x more effective. “How can I help?” sounds polite, but it puts the cognitive load on the other person. Most people don’t know what to ask for on the spot, especially with someone they just met. What actually works is exactly what you described: understand context first, then offer something specific. That’s where real value shows up. I’d only add one nuance: this works best when it’s genuine and not transactional. People can feel the difference between “I’m trying to help” and “I’m trying to position myself.” The strongest networks are built when you consistently think in terms of how you can contribute, without immediately expecting something back. That’s when opportunities start compounding.
This is a great tip for people who want to help others. What are your top priorities could be a question that comes out earlier in the conversation. It's a good way to lead off after you are past the initial get to know you questions. That way, you are hearing what they are working on from them. When they tell you, start thinking what you can do to help them and give it to them. Here's the trick, when you do this, they are probably going to turn the question around and ask, "What are your priorities," or "How can I help you?" Be sure you are ready to answer that question with very specific answers Madeline
Madeline Mann - This maps directly onto the job search. The senior professionals who get the furthest in conversations with hiring managers aren't the ones who say "I'm open to opportunities." They're the ones who ask "what's the biggest problem your team is trying to solve in the next 90 days?" Same principle. Lead with their priorities and your value becomes obvious without you having to pitch it.
The reframe here is underrated. 'How can I help you?' puts all the cognitive load on the other person — they have to inventory their needs AND trust you enough to share them. Asking about priorities and challenges first gives you the raw material to offer something specific and useful.
Asking about priorities makes the conversation way more real and actually useful. I’ve noticed it also helps build trust faster, you’re showing you’re paying attention instead of just being polite :)
This is why the best connections are those where you give first, not just ask.
Lindt & Sprüngli•209K followers
1wHere's the link to register for "How to 10x Your Personal Brand Using LinkedIn & Attract Clients, Speaking Engagements, and Jobs" : https://www.theselfmademillennial.com/linkedin