Channeling 'I'm Worth Picking' Energy for Job Success

I recently caught myself rewriting a proposal for the fourth time, tweaking my language, softening my ask, adding one more line about why I’d be “such a great fit.” And I thought: oh no. This is “pick-me” energy. We all know it when we see it in dating. But professionally it’s sneakier. It disguises itself as persistence, hustle, and “just being thorough.” So I’ve been thinking about the difference between “pick-me” energy and “I’m-worth-picking” energy. Because for women selling expertise, services, or themselves as leaders, the line can feel razor thin. Pick-me energy changes who you are to match what they want. Worth-picking energy gets clearer on what you bring and trusts the right people to recognize it. Pick-me energy over-explains and over-justifies. Worth-picking energy says “here’s what I do, here’s what it costs”without apology. Pick-me energy chases and then refreshes the inbox constantly. Worth-picking energy builds things that create gravity so people come to you. Pick-me energy treats a “no” as a verdict on your value. Worth-picking energy treats it as information. “Not this, not now, not at this price point” are three very different things and NONE of them requires a shame spiral. Here are three small shifts that have made a real difference for me: “I’d love the chance to work with you” became “Here’s what working with me looks like.” One is a request. The other is a door I’m holding open. “Just following up!” became “I want to make sure this landed and I’m happy to answer any questions.” Same action, but different energy. One sounds like I’m hoping. The other sounds like I’m helping. “I can do whatever you need” became “Here’s where I do my best work.” Because the moment I become everything to everyone, I become forgettable to all of them. Selling yourself doesn’t have to mean abandoning yourself. You can be warm and boundaried, generous and discerning, competent and confident. Period.

Great advice for everyone. Whether you’re currently employed or searching for a new opportunity, it’s important to know your worth and communicate it confidently and professionally.

What Do You Reach For When You’re Worn Down? Tonight at Man Up, a Christian men’s group I’m part of, we had a real conversation. Not the polished kind. The honest kind. We talked about what we reach for when we’re tired, discouraged, or running low. The bad habits that sneak in when our guard is down. In that setting, the words used were gods(idols) of pleasure. In business, we might not label it that way. But we all have our versions. As solopreneurs, when the energy dips or a project feels heavy, what do we reach for? Endless scrolling. “Research” that’s really just procrastination. Tinkering with a logo again instead of making the sales call. Watching one more YouTube video about productivity instead of actually being productive. It’s rarely dramatic. It’s subtle. It feels harmless. But it pulls us away from growth. When I’m worn down, I can feel the urge to distract myself instead of doing the uncomfortable thing that actually moves the needle. The follow up. The proposal. The hard conversation. The disciplined work. And here’s the hard truth: distractions feel good in the moment, but they cost us momentum. If you’re a solopreneur, you don’t have the luxury of leaking hours every week to things that don’t matter. So here’s the question I’m asking myself tonight: When I’m tired, what do I reach for… and is it helping or hurting the business I say I want to build? What about you?

𝗕𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝘆 𝗶𝗻 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝟰 𝗲𝗮𝘀𝘆 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗽𝘀. 𝗚𝘂𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘀𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲. I tried; this is my own journey (=𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘧). And this is why I am now an expert on it and can teach you. Hi, my name is Daria (𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘢𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺). Last Friday, I allowed myself to finally be something that I had forbidden myself to be when I turned 18 - 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗶𝘀𝘁. I decided not to pursue a university degree in art, but instead, being a poor (yes, poor) migrant and working 3 jobs since I was 14, I decided to study something "practical" and "reasonable." So eventually, I allowed myself to go back in time. I blocked 5 hours of my day to "make art," whatever that meant. 𝙰̲𝚗̲𝚍̲ ̲𝚑̲𝚎̲𝚛̲𝚎̲ ̲𝚠̲𝚎̲ ̲𝚛̲𝚎̲𝚊̲𝚌̲𝚑̲ ̲𝚝̲𝚑̲𝚎̲ ̲𝟺̲ ̲𝚖̲𝚎̲𝚗̲𝚝̲𝚒̲𝚘̲𝚗̲𝚎̲𝚍̲ ̲𝚜̲𝚝̲𝚎̲𝚙̲𝚜̲ (=𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩-𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘥): 𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝟭 𝗼𝗿 "𝗪𝗧𝗙 𝗮𝗺 𝗜 𝗱𝗼𝗶𝗻' 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲?" Position yourself in front of the unknown field of work. Panic. 𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝟮 𝗼𝗿 "𝗛𝗮𝗶𝗿-𝗽𝘂𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻" Pull your hair (very important). Stare more at the work in front of you. 𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝟯 𝗼𝗿 "𝗗𝗼 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴. 𝗔𝗻𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴." Do something. Anything.  𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝟰 𝗼𝗿 "𝗛𝗮𝗽𝗽𝘆." Feel how suddenly your energy shifts. Enjoy. Congratulations! You achieved success. And it was not even that hard. Do it again tomorrow. That will be $650. Shall I send you my invoice via email? 𝗜 𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗲𝗻𝗷𝗼𝘆𝗲𝗱 𝗺𝘆 𝘂𝗻𝘀𝗼𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗱𝘃𝗶𝗰𝗲. 𝗣.𝗦. Why does this post sound as if I am bashing all the self-acclaimed experts and gurus?  First of all, because I am.  Secondly, the world is spinning. If now is not the best time to drop all the bullsh*t and be real for a bit, when else? 𝗣.𝗣.𝗦. My story is real. So is what I learned. But selling it as the magical method that will save you from all your problems is surreal/2026.

Hot take: Your company doesn't owe you loyalty. And you don't owe them yours either. This isn't cynicism. It's clarity. I'm watching two groups of professionals right now: Group 1 is angry. They gave years to companies that laid them off in a single email. They feel betrayed. They're bitter. Group 2 is strategic. They understood the game from the start. They built skills that transfer. Networks that travel. Assets that belong to them. Both groups got laid off. Only one was prepared. Here's what nobody tells you in orientation: The company will make a business decision about your role. Not a personal one. Not an emotional one. A business decision. When revenue drops, when priorities shift, when AI gets cheaper than you. They will do the math. And if the math doesn't work? You're a line item, not a legacy. This isn't about being disloyal. It's about being strategic. → Document your wins like a consultant would → Build relationships outside your company, not just inside → Invest in skills that transfer, not just skills they need → Create income streams so one client can't control your life The best employees aren't the most loyal. They're the most valuable. And valuable people have options. Stop waiting for your company to invest in you. Start investing in yourself. What's one skill you're building right now that has nothing to do with your current job? ♻️ Repost if you're done outsourcing your security. 👉 Follow Gianna for career strategy that hits different.

Nobody tells you that thinking for yourself has a price. Not a productivity hack. Not a glow-up. Not a rebrand. A price. Relationships that couldn't survive you becoming more yourself. Comfort you had to leave behind when you couldn't unknow what you knew. The particular loneliness of being the person in the room who can't just say yes and move on. I've spent years learning how to think recursively — how to notice a thought, reflect on it, find the pattern underneath it, let something real emerge from it. It's the most valuable thing I've ever done. It cost me everything. If you're considering doing this work — actually doing it, not just reading about it — I want you to go in clear-eyed. The people selling awakening don't mention what gets dissolved on the way there. I'm mentioning it.

If you are thinking you need to find more people to sell to, you are WRONG!❌ Your health business is NOT about finding more people to sell to. It's about going out there and making more connections! Why? 🤝Because connection makers and money makers💵. People connect with people, and if your clients are not connecting with you because you have not built a relationship, then neither will they buy from you...

Your job is temporary. Your purpose isn’t. 9/10 people get this wrong: They mistake a payslip for identity, And they build their worth around: - their title - their employer's brand - the life their paycheck can buy Then there's a restructure.... And everything crumbles. Real fulfilment isn’t about WHERE you work. It isn’t only about WHAT you do either. It comes from knowing WHY you work. ↳ From feeling it line up with who you are. ↳ From seeing your best self come alive in the day-to-day. ↳ From watching that spark get stronger, not dimmer. To experience that kind of joy in your work, Here are four anchors worth building: 1. Clarify your mission ✅ Define what success looks like on your terms ✅ Set goals that reach beyond your current role ❌ Don’t let a title become the ceiling 2. Build your strengths ✅ Know what energises you and lean into it ✅ Develop strengths you can carry into any role ❌ Don’t tie your growth only to company-specific skills 3. Own your foundation ✅ Develop a clear, personal roadmap you can trust ✅ Invest in growth that belongs to you, not a company ❌ Don’t depend on structures you don’t control 4. Align to what matters ✅ Choose work that reflects your values ✅ Choose growth over comfort ❌ Don’t sell out your values for convenience A company can replace you overnight. But when you're clear on your value and direction, no org chart controls your identity. —— Did that resonate? ♻️ Repost to help your network ➕ And follow Meg Bruyns for more . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

OK, so here's something weird that happens when you hit your 50s... You've got like 30 years of experience under your belt, right? You'd think that would make everything easier....Nope. Turns out, it actually makes it HARDER to explain what the hell you actually do. Here's what I mean: When someone asks "So what's your expertise?" ...you kind of freeze up. Because the real answer is something like: "Well, I can walk into a situation and just...know what's wrong. I can see the problems nobody else sees. I connect dots that don't seem connected. I have instincts that took three decades to build." But you can't SAY that without sounding like a fortune teller or something. So instead you mumble something about "strategic consulting" and hope they don't ask follow-up questions. The problem is this: Your most valuable knowledge is invisible. Even to YOU. It's all pattern recognition and judgment calls and "I've seen this movie before" moments that you can't easily put into words. Which is why a lot of really experienced people struggle when they try to: - Consult - Start something new - Teach what they know - Build any kind of personal brand Their best stuff is locked inside their head, buried under years of "just knowing things." And that's kind of what we're figuring out with Graybeard Radio. How do you take all that invisible expertise and actually make it visible? How do you turn decades of experience into something you can teach, sell, or build with? Because here's the thing: Your experience shouldn't just fade away when you hit 55 or 60. It should be your biggest asset in the second half of your career. So here's what I did: I built a Wisdom Extraction tool specifically for this problem. If you're sitting on decades of experience and want to figure out how to actually articulate it (and maybe do something with it), shoot me a DM and I'll let you try it out. Talk soon. Matt

You are not a treasure hunt. If people are confused… they don’t convert. We assume: • They’ve seen our old posts • They know what we do • They’ll click around and figure it out They won’t. New followers are not scrolling back 87 posts to decode your business. And distracted people are not clicking every link in your bio hoping to stumble into clarity. Your job isn’t to be mysterious. Your job is to be clear. Reintroduce yourself. Restate your services. Tell people how to work with you. Spell it out. Repurposing isn’t lazy. Repeating yourself isn’t annoying. Clarity builds trust. And trust builds business. So today’s question: If someone landed on your page right now… would they know exactly how to give you money? Enjoy this conversation? Join Stephanie Gillis-Paulgaard and I on Cultivate Weekly  LIVE, every Tuesday 10 ET, 8 MT on Youtube, LinkedIn or Facebook. Replays available.