From the course: Tips to Work with Difficult People

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Go from "me vs. you" to "us vs. the problem"

Go from "me vs. you" to "us vs. the problem"

From the course: Tips to Work with Difficult People

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Go from "me vs. you" to "us vs. the problem"

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- It's not me versus you, it's us versus the problem. This is one of my favorite tools for handling conflict with someone. I want you to think of the last time you felt locked in opposition to someone at work. For example, I recently felt like a colleague was scheduling too many meetings. It felt like a poor use of time. But my colleague felt like the meetings were necessary to maintain transparency and inclusivity so the team could stay informed and involved. Once you have your example, remind yourself that ultimately the two of you are on the same team. With that in mind, imagine how you could reframe the situation to an us versus the problem mindset. With my colleague that sounded like this: "Hey, we both want this project to succeed, and both efficiency and inclusivity are important here. How can we work together to tackle this problem without wasting time or leaving out any important stakeholders?" This small shift helped us put our guards down and brainstorm new solutions…

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