Create emotional readiness

- In Australia, children are told to remember the tall poppy syndrome. If one flower stretches out to be taller than the others, it's likely to get its head whacked off. The message is clear. Don't try to make yourself bigger than those around you or bad things are likely to happen. Be humble. Many of us grew up hearing advice like this. So it can feel wrong to tell others about our accomplishment. We feel like we're being selfish. And if you're talking about yourself, just so that people will think you're all that, it is selfish. But let me invite you to see self promotion at work in a different way and help you establish a path for this journey. Think about how your views of self promotion would change if you thought about it as a gift for other people, what if you tell someone about your skill or ability to help them solve a problem or what if we'll do you that bringing your best self to work makes your team stronger. When we understand how each person can contribute to a group we're more relaxed and productive. When you get it comfortable sharing your talents with colleagues you'll also see personal benefits, your confidence grows. So you're not only more comfortable with your current responsibilities but you do believe in your ability to do even more. You can learn new skills, take on new projects and volunteer for professional development assignments. But to make this magic happen, you have to share yourself with others in a positive way. And the key to do doing this successfully is the right combination of competence and vulnerability. Here are some strategies to portray both. First, to appear competent and knowledgeable, share specifics. If people talk too broadly about their skills saying they are the best graphic designer in the world, we don't usually believe them. But if they show us a logo they've designed or explained that they're very experienced in a particular graphic it's program, they earn our trust. Second, show your learning curve, competent people are consistently learning and working to get better. So in addition to sharing what you've already done, share a technique you're trying for the first time or something you're practicing to do better. Third, explain how you can help. Talk about that specific part of a project you can do or the ways you can make the work group more efficient. Explain the gift you're offering and why you think it's helpful for them. Forth, deliver. If possible, over-deliver. Nothing shows you competence more clearly that a strong performance that exceeds others expectations. So now let's look at vulnerability. First, don't confuse vulnerability with weakness. Author and researcher, Bernay Brown defines vulnerability as uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure. And she argues that it takes a great deal of courage to display. You can demonstrate that you're confident enough to perform but human enough to make and admit mistakes. Second, frame vulnerability positively. Talk about your skills and challenges with a growth mindset. Instead of explaining what you can or cannot do, share how being part of a project will help you develop skills or learn something new. Then tell the other party why you're excited about that. Remember, you want them to feel good about accepting this gift of your abilities. If you make them think the task is too easy or too hard for you. Well, they may not be as comfortable with your help. I guess this means the advice we heard his children to be humble or don't brag, it wasn't completely wrong. It was just too vague. But you use competence and vulnerability to share your talents with people who can use them, you're providing a valuable gift.