Confronting a bully

- She was the popular veteran employee who kindly introduced you to the boss and made sure you were equipped for success in your new job, all until you were assigned a coveted project she thought belonged to her, then you saw a different side of her, a controlling side, a spiteful side, a bullying one here. Here are five tips to handle bullying effectively. First, establish boundaries. Determine what behavior you will and will not tolerate. And when the bully tries to push your limits, be prepared to respond assertively, "I can see that you're upset, so this might not be the right time to discuss this." Prepare for confrontation. Plan your approach, practice your talking points, and choose a suitable time and place. I like to use the SBI formula. Name the situation, describe their behavior, and share the impact for the project. Keep your emotions in check. Practice your language and tone with trusted friends so that you can control your emotions and be professional when you communicate with the bully. Collect evidence. In today's work world, all text and instant and email messages are traceable, so be discreet, but collect information that can help you defend yourself later. Get support: Talk to trusted colleagues and mentors about the bully's behavior. They can provide insights and support to help you strategize your response. Bullies get away with their behavior because we give them permission. Practice some of these tips and stop them in their tracks.