From the course: Leadership Habits of Effective Executives

Regulate your emotions when under pressure

From the course: Leadership Habits of Effective Executives

Start my 1-month free trial Buy for my team

Regulate your emotions when under pressure

“

- Have you ever found yourself under pressure in a high stakes meeting? Perhaps someone challenged you, disagreed with your decision or undermined your ideas And before you even realized it, you snapped back, became defensive, and even got into an argument. It happens to all of us, often without us even realizing it. But as a leader, how you show up emotionally has a massive impact on those around you. You set the mood and the tone. And when you react too emotional, you are encouraging others to act in similarly impulsive ways, and your own performance suffers because when you react to emotionally, you risk making poor decisions, damaging trust with those you work with, and undermining your own authority. On the other hand, when you remain calm and composed, you project maturity, build credibility, enable those around you to feel safe, to speak up, and to challenge you. Most emotional reactions happen in the moment, unconsciously driven by our personalities, past experiences, and how we're feeling that day. Using our willpower may not be enough to stop us being triggered. Instead, effective leaders develop ways of staying calm and clearheaded even when under pressure. Here's a simple method you can start practicing right away. It's something I call the pause-reflect-respond routine. It's a five minute daily practice that helps you prepare for emotional triggers before they happen. It's a routine you practice at the start of your day, and also just before going into any important meetings or discussions. Here's how it works. Step one, pause and reflect. Take a moment to think about your day ahead of upcoming discussion and ask yourself, what are the situations today that could trigger me emotionally? Who will I be interacting with who might challenge, upset, or frustrate me? It could be a tense meeting with a client, a tough conversation with a colleague, or one of your team who constantly pushes your buttons. Take a moment to identify the ways in which you might be triggered and liable to react in ways you might later regret. Step two, plan your response. Ask yourself, how do I want to show up in these moments when I'm liable to be triggered? What's the best version of me that I want others to see and experience? Before you step into the upcoming situation, take a moment to pitch yourself at your best as someone responding thoughtfully and calmly rather than reacting on impulse. Choose and visualize how you wish to show up. Perhaps you wish to simply remain calm and composed, to be seen as a leader who is mature, grounded, who listens carefully, and who chooses their words thoughtfully. Let me share a real example of a leader using this pause-reflect-respond routine. A senior executive I've been coaching was known for reacting negatively and often losing her temper in meetings whenever her ideas and thinking were challenged. This was hurting her reputation, and her colleagues were reluctant to interact with her. Once she started practicing this pause-reflect-respond routine, doing it every morning and before key meetings, her emotional responses began to mature. Within weeks, her colleagues started noticing how much calmer and more constructive and accepting she'd become. Because of a changed style, she began regaining a colleague's trust and respect. Starting today, take a couple of minutes each day to think about when you might be triggered, and to plan how you'll respond in those moments. By doing so, you'll be seen as the leader who's mature and in control. Up next is your chance to take part in an AI-enabled conversation where you can explore how well you control your emotions and put into practice what you've just learned.

Contents